Mr. Prager should grow up.
Women don’t necessarily “deny” their husbands sex. He makes married sex sound like something that is a given, paid for one time on the wedding day. Worse, he seems to make a threat: if you don’t . . . Sex shouldn’t be a threat, a weapon, or relegated to a bodily function.
Remember that if you want to change a woman’s mood, you should talk to her or get her to talk to you.
The other side of the coin is that women don’t function like men. We have not been conditioned to react sexually to the same cues. Our bodies are slower to become aroused: imagine being asked to perform immediately after sex - nearly every doggone time - and you’ll understand the woman’s physiology a little bit better.
Another thing, sex wakes us up — just the opposite of a man’s reaction, again.
Quite a bit of this “need” is conditioning, btw. I hear of men raised in Mexico who think they need sex several times a day - if they are the least bit aroused, they believe they *need* sex.
As to “needing” sex several times a day, do they “need” it even once? The terms used do not describe what goes on. It is not a matter of “need” unless you consider breating a “need”, or hunger or thirst a “need”. The sex drive for the male of every mamilian species is on the same level as hunger, thirst etc. It is basic, it is what drives them.
It is all part of what makes them men, the hunter, the protector etc. It is not what they want to be, it is what they ARE. And if you call what you want, need, then yes they do need it 3 times a day and more if they have they physical endurance for it. It is not their choice. In the article the man said that men being faithful to one wife is a huge sacrifice. That is true, it goes totally against his nature.
So when did you get divorced?
Remember that if you want to change a woman’s mood, you should talk to her or get her to talk to you.
This exact sentiment has ultimately ended many marriages. If women would honestly tell men that "look, after we get married you will have to constrain your daily sexual desires and be satisfied with how many, or few, times I am in the mood", fewer men would be duped and fewer marriages would be "on the rocks".
LOL! I have had times when my husband would complain that he was deprived, yet we were doing more than the average.
in response....
NEXT!
My ex could have written that. She denied me for well over a year while I did all the “right” things. She finally had to have our pastor say, “you know, withholding sex is a form of sexual abuse”. She was done with him. For her it was a control issue. I would have loved for her to read this article but, frankly, I strongly believe her response would have been like yours. To be fair, I think it was partly her upbringing that led to it, but after 20 years of marriage and 18 years in the same Assembly of God church, she up and divorced my completely out of the blue.
I was faithful, I was loving (you see, I took SERIOUSLY what the counselors told us) and as a Christian, divorce was out of the question - for me. It was going to work or I was going to die trying.
Meanwhile I have been married to my wife for 10 years and the honeymoon aint over. And we are both just shy of 55! For her, foreplay is how I treat her throughout the day.
I honestly did not know a man could be as sexually fulfilled as I am. I also used to look at chick films as “science fiction for women”. I now know there are people that actually LIVE those love stories. My wife and I are. That is why the movies bring me to tears. I relate to the characters.
I also understand the wisdom behind the biblical description of marrieage. Women that deny sex to their men are doing a serious disservice to him, herself and their children. It will be visited on multiple generations.
I could go on but I have already said more than I probably should have.
Bottom line is this: If a person is blaming the marital problems on their spouse, they don’t get it, period.
SERIOUS abuse notwithstanding.*
*The word abuse has been so diluted by many womens groups today that all men (and women), with the exception of Jesus Himself, fit the definition of “abuser”. That helps nobody. Abuser=human
>>He makes married sex sound like something that is a given, paid for one time on the wedding day. <<
That puts him in good company, because it IS.
1 Corinthians 7: 1-7
Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not to marry. But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. I say this as a concession, not as a command. I wish that all men were as I am. But each man has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.
Hocndoc, you could not be more wrong.
It is also why I believe the word rape has no meaning between a married couple. Rape is forced sex. Forced means without permission. She (and he) gave permission in their wedding vows. Now don’t get me wrong. A man who “forces” sex onto his wife is not acting in a loving way, but rape it aint.
I gave myself to my husband on our Wedding Day...in our vows. He gave himself to me. None of the issues of the day or problems in the world surpass the husband and wife sharing their love in that most special of ways. Actually, it brings all that matters, our committment/love to each other, to the forefront.
Plus, it’s a great stress reliever. And, everything is brighter afterwards.