Posted on 01/20/2008 9:42:43 PM PST by Bear_Slayer
Now obviously I can't speak for every male, but I feel qualified to speak in general terms.
This is aimed at the married woman, but is applicable to the woman that is involved in a long term relationship.
Learn these things and you might get your relationship to last. Ignore them at your peril.
1. He is not your zit. Stop picking at him.
Women love to pick at zits. They'll sneak up on you while you're shaving and start squeezing. It's an annoying habit they can't break. They also do this emotionally and intellectually. This is done when they ask us silly questions like:
"Do you love me because you need me, our need me because you love me?"
The fact is we love you and need you. Beyond that, we have no idea. Some invisible rock hit us in the head one day and we realized we can't live without you, until you drive us insane, then we can't live with you.
Similar questions are along the lines of, "Do these pants make my butt look big?"
The fact is, you have a big butt and your butt makes those pants look big. Another fact: we don't care. When the invisiable rock hit us, it didn't clue us in that you had a big butt; it simply made us aware of the fact, "Girl nice. Me like girl, lot."
I knew a woman once that had a big butt. She wasn't even the most beautiful woman I had ever seen, but the invisible rock was huge and I would have crawled through broken glass to be with her if she were single.
You have a big butt. Get over it. If you are constantly aware of your own big butt, you will make us constantly aware of it and you don't want that.
2. It's ok for him to compare you to his mother, as in, "That's not how my mother does it."
The fact is our mother is the only significant woman that ever loved us, until you came along. She fed, bathed, dress, nurtured, encouraged and loved us -- and we like how our mom made our potatos, cookies, &etc. Don't change the recipe. We like it that way. There is nothing Freudian about it.
3. Don't expect a deep relationship and don't try to draw us into meaningful conversations.
We're not comfortable exploring our inner feelings. Most guys don't trust their feelings and the smarter ones recognize that its their feelings that got them into the relationship in the first place.
Do you want a meaningful relationship? Go sip lattes with your friends and explore each other's cavernous feelings. It's a level you can all relate to and prop one another up.
4. Don't trust everything your girlfriend tells you.
Just because they read it in Redbook or Ms. does not make it so. Those magazines are written by women, for women, that grew up on Danielle Steele.
And don't ask us. We don't know and we're not that complicated anyways. If you simply watch us, without over-analyzing you'll figure us out. At a basic level we eat, we sleep, we copulate, and we play sports. Not necessarily in that order and not necessarily at different times.
5. You don't always have to be talking.
Men can communicate through subtle mechanisms. It's how we know when a woman likes us, or when the guy across the bar is looking for a fight, etc.
6. Don't make us carry you through life.
We're trying to get through it also. We'll be happy to stand in front and take some of the blows, but listen, carry your own baggage. We got our own to deal with.
Lastly,
When the big rock hit us, it really didn't matter what you looked like on the outside. Love is blind. We fell in love with the way your eyes twinkle when you smile. When you giggle when we say something silly or funny. And yes, even the way your breasts look in that tight sweater. However, none of that will matter ever again if you screw it up by driving us insane.
LOL. We’ve known each other for 15+ years and only started dating a few months ago.
I’m sorry for the pain in your life that your mother caused you. Actually, this article is exactly NOT for perfect people at all. The guy is saying that men really DO care about the “inside” — the “real you” — and how you make them feel about themselves — more then they care about your dress size. I think underneath the humor, it’s about unconditional love that is possible between a man and a woman — as long as everyone understands that we are different, and don’t try to remake the other sex into something they were never meant to be.
I’ve been reunited this last year with my one and only love from 25+ years ago, and we are back together (it’s a long, miracle story). After writing for awhile, I told him I’ve changed a bit physically — put on weight since he knew me years before. He very patiently sighed over the phone, and said, “Baby, do you really think i care about that? Do I care that you’ve changed? I’ve changed too! We’re both older, and I am just grateful that we have another chance to love each other, and to be back in each other’s lives again!” He shows me this every day— now that he has actually seen me in person again. He looks at me and loves on me exactly the way he did when i was 19 years old — and took up less space than I do now. :-)
Take heart. They’re out there. We just have to keep it real ourselves.
None of us is perfect. One of my favorite Psalms.
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm%20139%20;&version=9;
I look forward to it.
hhmm....sounds just like what I DO for my man! Have you asked her if her alternate personality would show up if you married her? Good for you. Hopefully you are worthy of such an amazing creature. And I would bet you $100 that she has read every single book that Dr. Laura has ever written (that’s Dr. Laura advice right down the line!).
ROFL!
Thank you. That’s very kind.
Thank you. That was very kind.
Yeah!
Nice ad. ;>)
Can you clone her...?
She’s a tranny.
My wife used to ask me that a lot. I started always answering, "About sex." Now she hardly ever asks :)
Quit thinking your God’s gift to mankind and that you are the ONLY woman on the planet!
And if you are a feminist, go blow your brains out and save some poor SOB from a wretched life on this earth until the day he dies! Anyhow, propagating is not your strong point so stop trying to pretend!
1. He is not your zit. Stop picking at him.
I think you pretty much covered it all, although I think my husband might add . . . let us catch you doing some domestic oriented activity (Like ironing, or cooking with an apron on) in clothing that accentuates your physical positive--doesn't have to be blatant, just subtle. It has taken me nearly a decade to realize this small little delight.
sweet vanity post.
be sure to ping me :-)
Now that is a big dose of medicine right there. Thanks Jeeves.
Then what dear man are you waiting for? Marry the lady.
Ping me when you post it.
I disagree. It speaks nothing of the guy except "How to please his needs & wants."
I'm not saying that doing so is bad, except when its required by force or coercion.
Love must be based on . . .well, Love. Done because one wants to not because God or anyone else requires it.
ANd the recipient must not be a "taking" a$$hole. He must give in return and the article does not mention anything that the 1950s man should be providing to his 1950s wife.
Which is why many women are absolutely offended by the article, and why NOW got a foot-hold in the 1970s.
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