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22 Ways To Be A Good Democrat
not known | 3-21-2007 | Unknown email

Posted on 03/21/2007 8:14:07 AM PDT by TruthWillWin

22 WAYS TO BE A GOOD DEMOCRAT

1. You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on demand.

2. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.

3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Chinese and North Korean communists.

4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.

5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical documented changes in the earth's climate and more affected by soccer moms driving SUV's.

6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being homosexual is natural.

7. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.

8. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th-graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.

9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony activists who have never been outside of San Francisco do.

10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.

11. You have to believe that Mel Gibson spent $25 million of his own money to make The Passion of the Christ for financial gain only.

12. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.

13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.

14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Gen. Robert E. Lee, and Thomas Edison & A.G. Bell.

15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides are not.

16. You have to believe that Hillary Clinton is normal and is a very nice person.

17. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it has been tried is because the right people haven't been in charge.

18. You have to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in jail, but a liar and a sex offender belonged in the White House.

19. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag, transvestites, and bestiality should be constitutionally protected, and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.

20. You have to believe that illegal Democratic Party funding by the Chinese Government is somehow in the best interest of the United States.

21. You have to believe that it's okay to give Federal workers the day off on Christmas Day but it's not okay to say "Merry Christmas."

22. You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast, right wing conspiracy.


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Philosophy; Political Humor/Cartoons; Politics/Elections
KEYWORDS: democrats
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Funny but so true it is also sad.

Can you add to this list?

1 posted on 03/21/2007 8:14:09 AM PDT by TruthWillWin
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To: TruthWillWin

You feel the objective in an election is to win.


2 posted on 03/21/2007 8:14:55 AM PDT by HitmanLV ("If at first you don't succeed, keep on sucking until you do suck seed." - Jerry 'Curly' Howard)
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To: TruthWillWin

Quick!
Somebody send this to RINO Rudy and his bots.


3 posted on 03/21/2007 8:19:36 AM PDT by SJSAMPLE
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To: TruthWillWin

11 has to be expanded

11. You have to believe that Al Gore Spent millions of his own money to make "An Inconvienant Truth" only out of the kindness of his heart, but Mel Gibson spent $25 million of his own money to make "The Passion of the Christ" for financial gain only.


4 posted on 03/21/2007 8:20:57 AM PDT by qam1 (There's been a huge party. All plates and the bottles are empty, all that's left is the bill to pay)
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To: HitmanLV

And lying (called spin) is OK to accomplish the win.


5 posted on 03/21/2007 8:23:30 AM PDT by TruthWillWin
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To: TruthWillWin

23: You have to believe in the concept of "Carbon Neutrality", and be willing to purchase "Carbon Credits", but be willing to take a limo to the private jet to fly you across country to chastise others for using the wrong kind of light bulbs at home.


6 posted on 03/21/2007 8:25:07 AM PDT by theDentist (Qwerty ergo typo : I type, therefore I misspelll.)
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To: TruthWillWin

I know several democrats who don't think this way.

Sadly, I have not been able to convince them to switch parties.


7 posted on 03/21/2007 8:25:25 AM PDT by HotTubDave
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To: TruthWillWin

They will clearly do anything to win.


8 posted on 03/21/2007 8:25:52 AM PDT by HitmanLV ("If at first you don't succeed, keep on sucking until you do suck seed." - Jerry 'Curly' Howard)
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To: qam1

Expansion is very appropriate.


9 posted on 03/21/2007 8:27:01 AM PDT by TruthWillWin
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To: TruthWillWin
add:

Freedom of speech must never be suppressed, except for criticism directed at minorities and other constituencies of the Democrat party;

10 posted on 03/21/2007 8:28:01 AM PDT by Ouderkirk (Don't you think it's interesting how death and destruction seems to happen wherever Muslims gather.)
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To: theDentist

23., Good one.


11 posted on 03/21/2007 8:29:29 AM PDT by TruthWillWin
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To: TruthWillWin

I'm sure someone can do a better job with it... I can't think clearly today... allergies kicking in.


12 posted on 03/21/2007 8:32:04 AM PDT by theDentist (Qwerty ergo typo : I type, therefore I misspelll.)
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To: TruthWillWin

Bump for later read


13 posted on 03/21/2007 8:36:44 AM PDT by Conservative Infidel (How come they call it "Tourist Season" if we can't shoot them??)
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To: TruthWillWin

# 24. You believe that the eagle (our national symbol) is worthy of federal protection, but our flag (our national ensign) is not worthy of protection and can be burned as a matter of "free speech".


14 posted on 03/21/2007 8:57:15 AM PDT by Stoigo
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To: theDentist

Don't you know you can buy your way into Gaia's grace by purchasing Carbon Indulgences from Al Gore's Bank of Carbon & Trust?


15 posted on 03/21/2007 9:01:50 AM PDT by LexBaird (98% satisfaction guaranteed. There's just no pleasing some people.)
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To: TruthWillWin

You have to believe the end, justifies the means.


16 posted on 03/21/2007 9:03:07 AM PDT by Osage Orange (Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock. - Will Rodgers)
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To: TruthWillWin
I am waiting for the Self Appointed Posting Police (SAPPs) to tell you how many times this has been posted.
17 posted on 03/21/2007 9:07:50 AM PDT by WKB (It's hard to tell who's more afraid of Fred Thompson; The Dims or the rudibots.)
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To: TruthWillWin
"22 Ways To Be A Good Democrat"

* You believe that Third-World cultures and people are more virtuous than the Judeo-Christian, Western Civilization that forms the basis of traditional America up until the 1970s.

* You believe that the United Nations and the World Court can be better trusted to administer international justice than our own Congress or Supreme Court.

* You wish in the deepest part of your heart that America was more like Europe, rather than the other way around.

18 posted on 03/21/2007 9:17:07 AM PDT by tom h
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To: Ouderkirk
Better make that:

Freedom of speech must never be suppressed, except for criticism directed at minorities, non-Christian religions, homosexuals, communists, illegal aliens, and other constituencies of the Democrat party;
19 posted on 03/21/2007 9:21:18 AM PDT by TalonDJ
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To: TruthWillWin

as funny as this is, I have seen one aimed at republicans that makes us look equally as stupid.


20 posted on 03/21/2007 9:38:04 AM PDT by stompk
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