Posted on 03/17/2007 1:44:41 PM PDT by rface
I now know what I am going to do – But I am curious as to what other FReepers might do when faced with this situation.
What will I do?? (I know what I am going to do.)
I have a cousin whom I love, and with whom I am close. I grew up with this guy. We are both in our middle 40s. We both have gone through our teen-age years with some trouble along the way – and we both now hold good jobs. We both have done pretty well – in spite of our earlier attempts at self-destruction…..and in spite of some heavy burdens that life has thrown our way.
I was married a few months ago (my 2nd…and my last) and I invited my cousin and his “significant other” to our wedding. They flew in from Boston and my wife and I were very happy to have them here to be at our wedding.
I am very close to my cousin. I also like, and get along with, his “significant other”. My Cousin and I don’t see eye-to-eye on some things, but he did vote for Bush in 2000. And we agree on a lot of taxation and financial conservative views. He’s pretty much conservative-ish….sort of…(not that his politics has anything to do with this issue) ….except that he’s gay and he sent me a wedding invitation for me and my wife to come to the wedding in Massachusetts.
My Cousin knows where I stand on the Gay Marriage issue…. And my wife shares my view. Our views are not secretly held. We both think a Marriage is between a man and woman – but we both also think “civil unions” may be an option that Gay couples should be able to utilize.
The Question: Would you go to a family members Gay Wedding under a situation like this??
Go. He's your cousin and friend. You don't have to share his beliefs to love him. He would probably move heaven and earth to get to you if you were in trouble and needed him, and I bet you'd do the same for him.
No, I would not go. Evidently, your cousin doesn't know "where you stand" on the Gay marriage issue since you invited him to your wedding. It would have confused me if you told me one thing and did another.
It's terrific that you have a close and loving relationship with your cousin. Don't let anything change that. I personally could not and would not go. And I would continue to maintain and cherish my relationship with him.
I have to say that I was impressed with all of the responses posted. Mature, kind, sensitive.
I wouldn't go as I'd see my presence as condoning (at least tacitly) an abomination before God. I would keep in contact and reach out to the cousin in some other manner.
Go and be happy without a second thought. He's family and you care about him, right? Meanwhile, work hard to make sure that homosexual "marriage" doesn't become the law of the land. I have strong feelings that marriage is between a man and a woman. I feel just as strongly that homosexuals should be allowed the dignity and legal advantages of civil unions.
Ditto.
I would not attend any of my families functions that were promoting things that would would result in someone I love being separated from God forever.
Life is short, but eternity in hell sure aint.
You should go.
"Mature, kind, sensitive."
Nobody has ever accused me of any of those. I must not be feeling well. :-)
If it was a close cousin of mine, I'd go with my wife for the good eats and drinks at the reception. I'd also tell him aside that I think he's completely nuts but I'd still love him.
It's not like you're going to a rally to try to change marriage laws. The debate is done in Massachusetts; the people have spoken there.
Be there for your cousin, and don't make yourself a target of scorn from the rest of your family, either.
-PJ
Your friend is being selfish pure and simple
Sometimes I'm asked for advice on a difficult question like this, and the only thing I can say is, "It's up to you." Plenty of good advice here, but the decision is finally yours.
You have to ask for advice? So much for principle.
I see homosexuality as just another sexual perversion. It is tolerated when between consenting adults. I visualize the homo act and find it too disgusting to think about. I don't believe we should have civil unions between gays and you can guess how I feel about homo marriages.
Having said all that, I probably would attend the event at the invitation of this friend.
They came to your wedding; surely you are going to theirs?
I would go.
I am going to give you an answer in a roundabout way.
My wife has a lot of friends who are orthodox Jewish. She was explaining to me all the rules the orthodox Jews follow. They can't work on the Sabbath and they can't drive.
"What if they are walking down the street on the sabbath and see a child hurt?" I asked.
My wife explained that saving a life overrides all other rules. They can do whatever is necessary to save the child. They can treat the child or drive him to the hospital or do whatever needs to be done.
I liked the idea of how some rules can override other rules. I think your dedication to traditional marriage is commendable and I agree with you. But I think your obligations toward family overrule your political views in this case.
You should go. If you want to be morally consistent, write a check to Concerned Woman of America or the Family Research Council when you get home.
Why Not?..
All points have already been made.. except the point are you my friend or not??..
NOT Going to the, whatever it is, makes no positive point whatever..
Going to it however makes no negative point..
Love, faithfullness, commitment should be expressed.. if due..
Would be an excellent testimony to friendship..
That is if friendship IS NOT JUST A WORD...
What GSlob said...after all, he knows your thoughts and he's expecting you to compromise your position. Be polite, be kind, but be true to your principles. A pleasant response gives you creedence later on.
Go.
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