Posted on 03/17/2007 1:44:41 PM PDT by rface
I now know what I am going to do – But I am curious as to what other FReepers might do when faced with this situation.
What will I do?? (I know what I am going to do.)
I have a cousin whom I love, and with whom I am close. I grew up with this guy. We are both in our middle 40s. We both have gone through our teen-age years with some trouble along the way – and we both now hold good jobs. We both have done pretty well – in spite of our earlier attempts at self-destruction…..and in spite of some heavy burdens that life has thrown our way.
I was married a few months ago (my 2nd…and my last) and I invited my cousin and his “significant other” to our wedding. They flew in from Boston and my wife and I were very happy to have them here to be at our wedding.
I am very close to my cousin. I also like, and get along with, his “significant other”. My Cousin and I don’t see eye-to-eye on some things, but he did vote for Bush in 2000. And we agree on a lot of taxation and financial conservative views. He’s pretty much conservative-ish….sort of…(not that his politics has anything to do with this issue) ….except that he’s gay and he sent me a wedding invitation for me and my wife to come to the wedding in Massachusetts.
My Cousin knows where I stand on the Gay Marriage issue…. And my wife shares my view. Our views are not secretly held. We both think a Marriage is between a man and woman – but we both also think “civil unions” may be an option that Gay couples should be able to utilize.
The Question: Would you go to a family members Gay Wedding under a situation like this??
Frankly, I'm surprised by the number of people who suggest not attending the wedding but giving an expensive gift instead. I cannot imagine a person gay/straight/asexual/whatever who would be anything but saddened by this. A wedding is a beautiful day you wish to share with your loved ones - sending a gift because you are too uncomfortable or hung-up to attend in person seems like a bribe or repudiation.
Something I try to think of in this sort of situation is how many similarities there are in the debates on gay marriage and the debates over interracial marriage fifty years ago. "Unnatural?" Yup, that word has been used to describe both. "Depraved?" Check. There were even people who twisted religion to show that the "races should not mix." Of course, there are still people who think interracial marriage is wrong - Would all of you give the same advice to someone who felt that way? Would your grandmother or grandfather?
I know that not-so-long-ago, interracial marriages were a hot button issue....kinda like gay marriage is today......but there are differences in the arguments. You might say that the arguments are silly - but I would say they are significant.
I don't have to "twist" religion to justify opposing gay marriage....like my Grandfather had to do to condemn inter-racial marriage.
I am going to the ceremony. I am not endorsing it. Sometimes this feels like a contradiction - but People there will know my position. I am doing my best.
Maybe you did register here today to post your comment to this one topic - perhaps you will comment on some other topics also.
Nice response. Thank you.
No -I do not promote delusion.
A gay family member wouldn’t want to come to my home.
Do what you think is right, and don’t ask us. Best advice I can give.
I would go. Under dire circumstances I choose to no longer see or communicate with most of my family and it very difficult and I miss them as I once knew them. A circumstance such as yours is not worth losing a family member.
I clearly stated that I had decided what I was going to do, but that I was curious about what others would do in this situation..
Send them a fruitcake.
EN OH
NO
Hurtful, in fact. Especially since you are close to him.
Maybe you should consider attending the reception. Show a little love to someone you love...just like he did for you.
However, going to some sacreligious "ceremony" should not be part of the itinerary.
That said, I would not be a very good guest at something like this....I just can't watch two dudes making out without becoming physically ill, so I would probably be outside smoking or something for the most part.
My former best friend from high school first wedding was a “clown wedding” and I was the best man, dressed up a The Joker. It was...strange. I felt awkward enough about that. When that marriage fell apart and finally realized he was gay, he invited me to that “wedding” and I told him I could not. It would be against my moral views. He said he understood, but we have not spoken to each other in any fashion since then. I can’t say that I would want a reconnect. Sometimes, bridges just have to be burned. Sorry.
I had that situation with my sister — I sent a gift but didn’t attend the ceremony.
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