Posted on 02/08/2007 6:02:58 PM PST by blam
O Kaaay.... I smell a really evil ex-wife somewhere in here...
How much did this study cost us?
It was done in the UK...fortunately.
Lucky them. (/sarc) :-)
It is my opinion, that except to have kids, I have two whom I love, both adults, that hookers and other shadows of the night can provide the distractions that men need with out the gut wrenching pain of separation for some air heads momentary distraction.
Marriage is a partnership, it is hard, and both have to play by the same rules.
Have you tried a gold Rolex?
You will find out quick what golddigger means.
The main problem I see is that people don't honestly know themselves. It's easy to paint an ideal, then try to hold yourself to that ideal and delude yourself into believing that you can actually attain it. It's hard to see what you're really capable of and to know yourself well enough to say, "I'd really be *happier* as a plumber than a doctor. This is the kind of life I want and this is really what I need in a mate."
We look for mates that fit that ideal of ourselves, not the reality.
I have a friend who recently got divorced. In one conversation we were having she was trying to figure out where things went wrong. I said, "Honey, it was wrong when he proposed and you agreed. He's always had aspirations for the big house and the big car and the big paycheck. He took one look at you and saw a tall, leggy, slender trophy wife. What he didn't know was that you were happier fishing in cutoffs than at a ladies' luncheon. You so badly wanted to be loved that you said yes to the first guy who'd have you. Neither of you respected each other's values and, over time, that translated to a lack of respect for each other. That killed whatever love was there in the beginning."
Now, had he chosen the trophy wife with the same values and desires that he had, things still wouldn't have gone well. Because what he failed to realize was that *he* was never capable of getting the life that he wanted to much.
...just don't get cancer, honey....
Just skimming through the posts slamming women on the first page of comments make me not want to read any further.
I have got to relegate my 9 year old truck to "chore status."
Similar to Hitlery but without the the Marriage defense.
It sickens me the women that are married or have boyfriends that come on strong to me....I have lost a lot of respect for the average American woman. Years ago I would have been a real man-whore. Now that I am a widower and have a 9 year old daughter I am a total conservative.
Or maybe that's just the image the media have created of life at the "top."
I think any relationship requires the suspension of invulnerability, a willingness to risk getting trampled. The necessary bond can't form if either party is always on guard. And I think that's part of the honesty you're talking about.
It's academic. And I'm the wrong guy to be talking to about it anyway. My relationships make the Hindenburg look like a backyard barbecue.
Keyboard spew alert [please ;)]
Tried being a preacher, you would have done well. If you have any girl FRiends with your common sense and a sense of humor, I am trying to Marry off Race Bannon, a good FRiend who needs some female focus and patience.
Another keyboard spew alert, going for a record?
You have been warned
;-)
I'm really sorry. I know the pain that can be caused by choosing the wrong person. (My mother has 3 ex-husbands!) When I was young I decided that I'd rather be alone than with the wrong person. I spent three years trying to figure out how to pick the *right* person. (I had absolutely *no* help in that department!)
When I thought I had the formula down, I began "putting myself out there". (I didn't want to fool around or have a boyfriend. I wasn't settling for less than a legal life-partner. If that never happened - so be it.) I started dating my husband about four months later. We were married nine months after that. (I wasn't even pregnant.)
That was almost 17 years ago and we still actually *like* each other! lol! (I always say that love is easy. But to still like hangin' around with someone, to not mind their farts or the noises they make when they eat or the snoring or their hair on the shower wall... *that* is a miracle!)
Long story short - anything's possible if you make your heart follow your head... not the other way 'round.
Yes.
As for the "preacher" part... heck, I've been accused of worse! ;-)
I just happen to be good in the "relationship" area. It's my specialty.
Eeeen-teresting.
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