I'm really sorry. I know the pain that can be caused by choosing the wrong person. (My mother has 3 ex-husbands!) When I was young I decided that I'd rather be alone than with the wrong person. I spent three years trying to figure out how to pick the *right* person. (I had absolutely *no* help in that department!)
When I thought I had the formula down, I began "putting myself out there". (I didn't want to fool around or have a boyfriend. I wasn't settling for less than a legal life-partner. If that never happened - so be it.) I started dating my husband about four months later. We were married nine months after that. (I wasn't even pregnant.)
That was almost 17 years ago and we still actually *like* each other! lol! (I always say that love is easy. But to still like hangin' around with someone, to not mind their farts or the noises they make when they eat or the snoring or their hair on the shower wall... *that* is a miracle!)
Long story short - anything's possible if you make your heart follow your head... not the other way 'round.