1. Know thyself. And I mean *serious* soul searching.
2. Using *logic* and wisdom gleaned from past experience, make a list of qualities *required* for your ideal mate and a second list of qualities that are absolute no-no's.
3. Begin dating people you find attractive. After *every* date, check your list. If they have one quality on the "no" list or if you can tell they are missing a quality on the other side, *DUMP THEM IMMEDIATELY* and move on.
4. When you find a person who fits your list to a "T" you allow yourself to grow closer and to get to know them better. Sometimes it works out at this point, sometimes you get to add things to your "NO" list. Sometimes you find that you aren't the one *they're* looking for and you have to let them go.
As a woman, my heart is directly connected to my body. Both will short-circuit my brain.
I'd seen too many women caught in relationships with obviously bad men because they let their heart lead. I didn't know what to do to get a different result. (Hadn't seen an example of it done any other way.) Seeing this pattern over and over again, I decided to try the opposite tactic. I'm a human. I've got a big brain. What if I used that instead of my emotions? Heck, it was worth a try. I did it and it worked. The only time it doesn't work is when someone *thinks* they're using their brain and they're really deluding themselves into seeing what isn't there.
So where did love come into the picture? Well, when I saw that this great guy fit my list (and he was "into" me) I decided to trust him (and to trust the logical reasoning that led me to him). And I fell in love.
I've fallen in love with this man a thousand times. Every time he makes me laugh or I over-hear him talking on the phone, every time he grumbles about the lights being left on or lets me win an argument, every day of my life I fall in love with him all over again. (Heck, I'm in love with the way he laces his boots.) It's easy to love the right person.