Posted on 11/19/2006 7:16:53 AM PST by SwinneySwitch
Gay couples can't legally get married in Texas, but they are allowed to raise children. It's controversial, but very common — especially in San Antonio.
Census numbers show the city has a higher percentage of gay couples raising kids than any other city in the United States.
"We've chosen to have these children because we can't have them naturally," Andy Sutherland-Trevino said.
Nothing is stopping Andy Sutherland-Trevino from being a parent. He's fostered 21 children, adopted four and is in the process of adopting another child.
"People ask me, 'How do you do it,' and I just say, 'We just do. We just do,'" Andy Sutherland-Trevino said.
Andy is gay and raising these kids with his partner, Mark Sutherland-Trevino.
"They call me daddy and call Andy tata," Mark Sutherland-Trevino said.
The Sutherland-Trevinos share a hyphenated last name, a house on San Antonio's West Side and custody of their children.
"We come home from school, the kids do homework, eat dinner, have baths, the kids go to bed, and we do bedtime stories. There's nothing different. The only difference is we're two guys," Mark Sutherland-Trevino said.
Two men or two women raising children is not that uncommon anymore, according to a study in the Gay and Lesbian Atlas.
San Antonio has the highest percentage of gay couples raising kids, based on population. The 2000 census reports that 36 percent of same-sex couples here have children.
"That actually means that there's nearly 1,100 same-sex couples raising probably about 2,000 children in San Antonio," said Gary Gates, the study's author.
Gates is not surprised by the numbers because of San Antonio's Hispanic population.
"We found that nationally, Hispanics in same-sex couples were much more likely to have children than their white counterparts," Gates said.
The Sutherland-Trevinos said the Hispanic culture is accepting and has been pro-family. They also said the San Antonio Children's Shelter isn't faith-based and encouraged them to adopt. They also said that San Antonio judges are more family-oriented.
Attorney Rosie Gonzalez is on the board of Equality Texas and says we've come a long way.
"It's a positive thing for San Antonio. I think that, nationwide, there's a message being sent that we are family-oriented," Gonzalez said.
However, that's not the message everyone in San Antonio wants to hear. Some are against the idea for moral or religious reasons. Others are against it for psychological reasons.
"I don't think they (gay people) can be the kind of parents that a child needs. They may need that for themselves, but I question whether the child would have a valuable experience with that kind of a background," said Dr. Irv Loev, a marriage and family therapist.
Loev said based on his experience, children need a traditional family environment.
"I think men and women are different, very distinctively different, and I think a child exposed to both enables them to have a better identity of who they are," Loev said.
He said he can't imagine it being healthy, especially for the little girls being raised by two male parents, without a female influence in the home.
"Teaching the child puberty. I think them raising a female child would be very difficult," Loev said.
His other concern is the children might not fit in well at school. The Sutherland-Trevinos share that concern.
"One of our children was being taunted and picked on, but he was strong and said, 'My parents love me,'" Andy Sutherland-Trevino said.
Even with the criticism, Mark and Andy Sutherland-Trevino said they wouldn't have it any other way.
"We didn't mean to have seven children. We were just blessed with seven," Andy Sutherland-Trevino said.
Currently, the Sutherland-Trevinos have four adopted children and are adopting another child in December. They also care for two foster kids.
The study showed that gay couples with children are raising two kids on average.
And while San Antonio ranks first for gay couples raising kids, Houston comes in fourth, and Fort Worth and Arlington rank fifth.
Having adopted older children with significant issues, but having no rights to some kind of help from the government, I totally understand the need for the help. If I were adopting through foster care, I would only do so if the governmenet was going to help with medical care - physical and emotional. Caring for one physically or emtionally ill child can bring a family to near bankruptcy. If we want these children in permanent homes, it stands to reason that families shouldn't have to bear that burden alone. High risk kids just tend to come with high medical expenses. Most families who adopted don't get "paid" to adopt these kids - they simply get help with extraordinary expenses.
It sounds like those S.A. homos are a credit to their species.
In the penguin species, males tend to the young and females get food etc. The species, like several others, have always been this way. It has nothing to do with homosexuality.
I don't know about where I am now, but in CT it was something like 850. a month per child.
More like barf-barf, retch-retch, or urpppp-uuuurrrrrrrrppppp...take your pick.
Still, I love visiting San Antonio. Especially Mi Tierra, for its world class chicken tortilla soup.
oh yes, many animals do share equally in the raising of their young.
this article just reminded me of the bit i saw on fox news, yesterday,
it was about the childrens book i mentioned.
I know a "normal" couple who've adopted two children. They would like to adopt more but the state says they have to have one child per bedroom. They can not afford to move at this time.
I wonder if the children in the Sutherland-Trevino mess have a bedroom each...
Will it require faith, perseverence, and grace? Yes of course. But it is a time of hope.
Thy Kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven.
Those kids are going to grow up with homosexual tenancies. Children live what they learn! Is it any wonder that America is on that long, slippery slope to destruction? :o( You cannot kick God out of America and think we're going to continue receiving Blessings from Him.
The fight is 10 times harder than is thought by most people and has only gotten into the third round. Libs won one with Roosevelt and Carter plus 40 years of congress, the right got Reagan and 1994 and now we are in the third round and no winner has been named.
"...I am sad for the children in this story."
My first thought was for the authorities to interview all of the previous 21 foster kids and see if they were abused sexually. I wonder what the breakdown of gender is for the kids.
You're right, it is sad, very sad.
Who would have known.
However they may be able to spin, it is indeed very sad for the children.
you're exactly right about everything. I am an "only parent" (single mother) adopting a sibling set of four precious children this way, and I absolutely could not do it without the resources available to the children for medical care (medical, dental, psychological) through the state.
Grateful God has made a way for me to keep all four together. They are each a miracle.
My opinion, you don't need government help, ie, taxpayer's footing the bills, sorry. What works just fine is that you adopt what you can afford both time and financially. Whatever happened to the support of extended family, church and community to show how to live a proper and blessed life? Too many parents are adopting when they don't have time to be with these children and rely on government therapist to guide them.
I am saying this as a family member who has been through the process WITHOUT government support of any kind. My dear parents, my sisters and I made sure we as a family poured love to this child so that the abuse she had didn't affect the rest of her life. She's a happy mother in her 30's now.
I just did all three.
God bless you for adopting those children. Being a single parent is very hard work, I'm sure, but those kids are blessed to have a parent devoted to them!
Just wanted to add - it seems like you are lucky to have these kids. I know I'm blessed to have mine!
(Spew) ping to the list
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