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Families Without Children - Report Reveals Changes in Attitudes Towards Kids
Zenit News Agency ^ | July 22, 2006

Posted on 07/22/2006 6:03:00 PM PDT by NYer

PISCATAWAY, New Jersey, JULY 22, 2006 (Zenit.org).- Life without children is a growing social reality for an increasing number of American adults.

This is the conclusion of the 2006 edition of "The State of Our Unions" report on marriage, released last week by the National Marriage Project. The project is based at Rutgers, the State University of New Jersey.

Up until recently, for most people, the greater part of adult life was spent with young children forming part of the household. A combination of marrying later, less children and longer life expectancy means, however, that a significantly greater part of adult life is spent without kids being in the house.

The report, titled "Life Without Children," was authored by Barbara Dafoe Whitehead and David Popenoe. They start by noting how many recent publications complain of the difficulties in raising children. Many surveys also show that parents report lower levels of happiness compared to non-parents. In fact, an increasing number of married couples now see children as an obstacle to their marital happiness.

This isn't to say that children are rejected by the majority of couples. Nevertheless, there is a growing feeling of trepidation about taking on the responsibilities of parenthood. Of course, bringing up kids has never been easy, but there are good reasons why a growing number of parents are feeling increased pressures, the report explains.

A weakening of marriage bonds contributes to the difficulties of having children. Cohabiting women, the report explains, may postpone childbearing until they have a better sense of the long-term future of the relationship. If they wait too long, however, this places them at risk for never having children. Being in an unhappy marriage is another source of uncertainty. Couples who are worried about getting divorced are the most likely to remain childless.

Changing families

Citing Census Bureau reports, Whitehead and Popenoe lay out just how much family structures have changed.

-- In 1970 the median age of first marriage for women was just under 21years-old. The age of first marriage has now risen to just short of 26. Women who have a four-year college degree marry at an even later age.

-- In 1970, 73.6% of women, ages 25-29, had already entered their child-rearing years and were living with at least one minor child of their own. By 2000, this share dropped to 48.7%. For men in the same age bracket in 1970, 57.3% lived with their own children in the household. In 2000 this had plummeted to 28.8%.

-- In 1960, 71% of married women had their first child within the first 3 years of marriage. By 1990, this almost halved, to 37%. So after getting married, couples now experience a greater number of child-free years.

-- In 1970, 27.4% of women and 39.5% of men, ages 50-54, had at least one minor child of their own in the household. By 2000, the shares had fallen to 15.4% and 24.7%, respectively.

-- In addition, a growing number of women are not having any children. In 2004, almost one out of five women in their early forties was childless. In 1976, it was only one out of ten.

-- The proportion of households with children has declined from half of all households in 1960 to less than one-third today -- the lowest in America's history.

In general, then, a few decades ago life before children was brief, with little time between the end of schooling and the beginning of marriage and family life. Life after children was also reduced, with few years left before the end of work and the beginning of old age.

Less fun

Contemporary culture has quickly reflected the changes in family life, the report observes. It is increasingly common to find the years spent raising children portrayed as being less satisfying compared to the years before and after.

Adult life without children is depicted as having positive meaning and purpose, and as being full of fun and freedom. Life with children, by contrast, is seen as full of pressures and responsibilities.

In general, life without children is characterized by a focus on the self. "Indeed, the cultural injunction for the childless young and the child-free old is to 'take care of yourself,'" the report comments.

The years spent bringing up children is just the opposite. Being a parent means focusing on those who are dependent and subordinating adult needs to the requirements of the children.

By way of compensation traditional culture normally celebrated the work and sacrifice of parents, but this has now changed. Increasingly, the popular image of parents is a negative one. The new stereotypes range from the hyper-competitive sports parents who scream at their own kids, to those who ignore the problems their undisciplined children cause for others in public places.

The latest variant are the so-called "helicopter parents," who get their name from the way they supposedly hover over their children and swoop down to rescue them from any negative consequences of their behavior.

Television programs have long made fun of fathers, notes the report. More recently mothers are also being shown as unfit, unable to carry out their responsibilities without the help of a nanny, or as being over-indulgent and negligent.

By contrast a number of the most popular television shows in America in recent years, such as "Friends" and "Sex and the City," celebrated the glamorous life of young urban singles.

Bias against children

What does this portend for the future, the report asks. For a start, less political support for families. In the last presidential election, parents made up slightly less than 40% of the electorate. Less votes translates into less support for funding of schools and youth activities. Already a number of communities across the nation are trying to hold down property taxes by restricting the construction of affordable single family housing.

In cultural terms the bias against children is likely to grow. Entertainment and pastimes for adults -- gambling, pornography and sex -- is one of the fastest growing and most lucrative, and exciting, sectors of the economy.

By contrast, being a devoted parent is increasingly subject to a ruthless debunking, the report notes. In fact, the task of being a mother is now seen by a growing number as being unworthy of an educated women's time and talents. So the more staid values supportive of raising children -- sacrifice, stability, dependability, maturity -- will receive less attention.

"It is hard enough to rear children in a society that is organized to support that essential social task," the report observes. "Consider how much more difficult it becomes when a society is indifferent at best, and hostile, at worst, to those who are caring for the next generation," it concludes.

The family, "founded on indissoluble marriage between a man and a woman," is where men and women "are enabled to be born with dignity, and to grow and develop in an integral manner," explained the Pope in his homily concluding the World Meeting of Families in Valencia, Spain, on July 9.

"The joyful love with which our parents welcomed us and accompanied our first steps in this world is like a sacramental sign and prolongation of the benevolent love of God from which we have come," he noted.

This experience of being welcomed and loved by God and by our parents, explained Benedict XVI, "is always the firm foundation for authentic human growth and authentic development, helping us to mature on the way towards truth and love, and to move beyond ourselves in order to enter into communion with others and with God." A foundation that is increasingly being undermined in today's society.


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Culture/Society; Extended News; Government; News/Current Events; Philosophy; Politics/Elections; US: New Jersey
KEYWORDS: catholic; child; childfree; childless; children; family; kid; kids; negativepopgrowth; parent; parenthood; parenting; rutgers; selfishyuppy; smartyuppie; yuppiescanspell; zeropopulationgrowth; zpg
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To: NYer
My sister lives in Chicago, and I see that alot in her friends. Most are in their mid 30's, and have the maturity level of a teenager. Life is partying and self focused.

How odd that the West will die because we were to self absorbed to have children.
101 posted on 07/22/2006 8:57:07 PM PDT by redgolum ("God is dead" -- Nietzsche. "Nietzsche is dead" -- God.)
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To: Liberty Valance

Ok. You are excused LOL


102 posted on 07/22/2006 8:58:36 PM PDT by CindyDawg
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To: OldPossum

having children is not a selfish thing, but NOT having children is just this reason why our government is allowing unchecked immigration. welcome our replacement population,

my next door neighbor, who died recently, 78 years old, was robbed, and stolen her earthly belongings by immigrant people she befriended. I tried to help her, but by the time she ended up passing on, she left her home to the indian taxi cab driver, the handi man who took her for $13,000.00 and a gay guatemalan man she took into her home. She died a pauper. I guess befitting for someone who had no children. They only befriended her for what she had.

Just good luck to you. Here in Los Angeles, we are swimming with these opportunists who are ready to take all of what we have worked for.


103 posted on 07/22/2006 8:59:37 PM PDT by television is just wrong (our sympathies are misguided with illegal aliens...)
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To: SuziQ

Luther said, 500 years ago, that people put off getting married just so they can fornicate, basically what you are saying, which is 100% true.


104 posted on 07/22/2006 9:00:20 PM PDT by sine_nomine (Go Israel. Beat the terrorists.)
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To: CindyDawg

What in the world does this have to do with parents whose DIL's up and leave their sons (often for another man), take the kids, and ruin his life. You better wake up.


105 posted on 07/22/2006 9:00:33 PM PDT by Dnepr
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To: kittymyrib

You are a Lutheran, Kitty, and 100% correct.


106 posted on 07/22/2006 9:00:59 PM PDT by sine_nomine (Go Israel. Beat the terrorists.)
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To: Dnepr

It means that my DILs have become my girls and like my sons , regardless of what they might do , my husband and I will still love them and want them in our lives.


107 posted on 07/22/2006 9:04:19 PM PDT by CindyDawg
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To: ManningMillworks

I bet you are quite the Romeo.


108 posted on 07/22/2006 9:04:35 PM PDT by linn37 (Have you hugged your Phlebotomist today?)
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To: Dnepr

The school systems love special needs kids, too, so they dope up most of them and collect a bounty on them. Kids are messed up by not living with both their parents, then messed up worse by being doped legally with the blessing of the school system.

My antsy kid grew up to be a polymath who is adept in technology (national conferences) and the humanities. Neat kids too. We tried to keep him as far from the public system as possible.


109 posted on 07/22/2006 9:08:58 PM PDT by sine_nomine (Go Israel. Beat the terrorists.)
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To: sine_nomine

All of my grandkids are a little "hyper" I'm sure the public schools could "fix" them but we kind of like them the way they are.


110 posted on 07/22/2006 9:11:23 PM PDT by CindyDawg
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To: redgolum
I'm not so sure it's about self-absorbtion. Rather, it could be an avoidance of pain, suffering, and the headaches that going along with the rearing of children.

My wife and I are childfree, and we've talked about this subject many, many times. We've chosen to remain without children because of two main reasons: One, the level of patience required for children vastly exceeds our ability. I understand that this a character failing on our part, but at least we're cognizant of it.

Two, we have a pessimistic view of our society, and would not want to bring another life into this world. Our civilization is inundated with shallow and materialistic pursuits and it's only going to get worse, not better. Who wants to bring a child into the world when - despite our best intentions - they'll most likely become a consumer drone?
111 posted on 07/22/2006 9:14:08 PM PDT by Sirloin
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To: CindyDawg

Well, I guess the numbers don't lie, but I see things the way you do. Also I see many large families where I live (an exburb) and I see the stay-at-home mom has become a status symbol---means the husband makes LOTS of money.

I do think many women who are now in their 40's were fed a line that they could have it all, including postponing childbearing pretty much indefinitely. The day came they wanted kids, but found out--oh really--fertility does start to decline with the years.


112 posted on 07/22/2006 9:17:48 PM PDT by wouldntbprudent (If you can: Contribute more (babies) to the next generation of God-fearing American Patriots!)
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To: NYer

"What does this portend for the future, the report asks. For a start, less political support for families. In the last presidential election, parents made up slightly less than 40% of the electorate. Less votes translates into less support for funding of schools and youth activities. Already a number of communities across the nation are trying to hold down property taxes by restricting the construction of affordable single family housing."

I would decry this increasing trend of childlessness but for the above excerpt. My sympathy dries up when my pocketbook gets flinched from. That and to witness the outrageous behavior of kids these days makes the idea od raising a family sickening to one's stomach. And then there's the divorce rate...


113 posted on 07/22/2006 9:18:21 PM PDT by KantianBurke (We Cannot Civilize, But We Can Neutralize)
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To: CindyDawg

So true. Being locked in a wooden desk is not natural for boys. See Tom Sawyer for support on this issue.


114 posted on 07/22/2006 9:18:58 PM PDT by sine_nomine (Go Israel. Beat the terrorists.)
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To: NYer

I was blessed with four children. I would have had more if we could have afforded it.

I can't imagine my life without even one of them.


115 posted on 07/22/2006 9:25:36 PM PDT by linn37 (Have you hugged your Phlebotomist today?)
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To: wouldntbprudent

I've noticed lately that guys seem to be the one's putting pressure on their wives to work. Many would rather stay home but it's that 2 income thing. Why live in a big house, if you have to work all the time to make payments?. Kids don't care. They would rather momma be home.


116 posted on 07/22/2006 9:26:40 PM PDT by CindyDawg
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To: Popocatapetl
Not "old maid" or "otaku",

And to think in a little more than a week I'll be going to a convention that uses otaku as pat of its name.

117 posted on 07/22/2006 9:26:59 PM PDT by CzarNicky (In the magical land of unicorns there's no need for clothes.)
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To: Cacique

BTT


118 posted on 07/22/2006 9:33:43 PM PDT by Cacique (quos Deus vult perdere, prius dementat ( Islamia Delenda Est ))
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To: SuziQ
No offense to your son, but I believe most young men nowadays don't bother getting married because they don't HAVE to. Back when you had to get married in order to have any sex with your girlfriend, men got married at a pretty young age, then, as they had kids, there was societal pressure to stay married.

Of course with the 'Free Love' era that began in the late 60s, all that began to change. 25 years ago, when my Daddy was still alive, he used to say, about the attitudes of young men, "Why buy the cow, when you can get the milk for free?" So it had begun to change even then.

That's why there was such a push for legalized abortion in the early 70's. All that 'Free Love' wasn't so free after all, and liberated women, and the young men who wanted to have sex with them, began to push for a chance to rid themselves of their problems. The ability to get rid of these kids started changing peoples' attitudes toward all children.

You hit the nail right on the head. This also makes me think of a woman who I once knew that had 6, yes, 6 abortions. She ended up dying at 41 from cancer--childless, relationshipless and very lonely and very sad. She was always talking about her dream job and the very rich man she was going to one day find. She was very self focused and very materialist--this was the exchange for all these children she killed. What a waste.

119 posted on 07/22/2006 9:36:11 PM PDT by GOP Poet
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To: CindyDawg

Oh yeah! Many young guys today specifically look for a woman who is going to have income potential as a mate. I have friends whose husbands pressure them to work, even though, as you said, the kids don't care about all the "nice things" the parents are working overtime to buy.


120 posted on 07/22/2006 9:46:44 PM PDT by wouldntbprudent (If you can: Contribute more (babies) to the next generation of God-fearing American Patriots!)
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