Posted on 05/21/2006 11:55:33 AM PDT by Extremely Extreme Extremist
(CBS) CHICAGO It's a trend that some fear may have long-term consequences. More unmarried women over the age of 25 are not waiting for Mr. Right.
As CBS 2's Alita Guillen reports, these ladies are having children on their own.
The fantasy father at their fingertips is a sperm donor with all the right stuff.
Katherine Gehl and April Lashbrook had successful careers and dated, but they didn't have husbands. They heard their biological clocks ticking loudly.
"It was like a time bomb," April said.
"I need to go and have a baby and be a mother, and so I did," Katherine said.
Women used to depend on chemistry in the bedroom to conceive a child. Now, more and more women are turning to the lab and depending more on science than sex.
This twist on the mating game begins at a sperm bank, where donors can earn up to $900 a month.
"These guys are college students. This is a form of income," said California Cryobank Medical Director Dr. Cappy Rothman.
The sperm undergoes testing for diseases, genetic defects and blood type.
"Donor sperm, in many ways, is guaranteed good sperm," said Dr. Lauren Streicher, a gynecologist at Northwestern Memorial Hospital.
When April chose her donor in 2003, she got a long profile including a medical history and even written answers to questions.
"I knew immediately that was who I was going to choose," she said.
Now, many banks offer much more, including childhood photos and the donors' voices on CD.
Once chosen, the sperm remains frozen and stored until needed. Then it can be shipped anywhere.
While women can inseminate themselves at home, both April and Katherine used fertility specialists.
Many of these donors have already proven their fertility.
"It's an excellent way of getting pregnant because you usually have men who have confirmed pregnancy," said Dr. Brian Kaplan, a fertility specialist with Fertility Clinics of Illinois.
"We are creating a real potential disaster here," said Elizabeth Marquardt with New York City's Affiliate Scholar Institute for American Values.
Some critics are concerned that as this practice becomes more popular, and that with an unknown number of children from the same donor, that two of them might unknowingly hook up.
"In the future, we will have to have a DNA test with anyone we want to have sex with just to make sure we're not related to them," Marquardt said.
Many sperm banks say they try to limit pregnancies based on geographic area to reduce that risk. However, in a transient society, it may be hard to do.
Critics also worry how this might change the definition of family.
"As a society, we're saying fathers don't matter," Marquardt said.
Thirteen-year-old Liz Herzog, whose father is donor number 1002 from Virginia's Fairfax Cryobank, says she's happy with her life.
"I can't even say that once in a while I wish I had a father, because I don't," she said.
Through the Donor Sibling Registry Web site, she has discovered at least 10 half-sibling and has met seven, including Callie from Pennsylvania.
Liz's mother, Diana, thinks these newly forged relationships will last a lifetime.
"You can only hope that your child will be well-adjusted and happy enough when they grow up that they won't feel that they're missing too much," Diana Herzog said.
April's daughter, Julia, is now almost three years old.
"When she was born, it was just amazing," April said.
Katherine's daughter, Alexandra, is eight months old.
Both are enjoying every moment motherhood has to offer.
"It is so much greater than I had any idea," Katherine said.
April, Julia's mom, knows of six half-siblings so far.
All of the single moms we spoke with think the possibility of meeting and dating a half-sibling is very remote because they are very open or plan to be open with their children.
It is interesting to note that back when sperm banks first opened in the 1970s, it was all married couples seeking sperm donors. Doctors say those couples were more likely to keep it secret.
This is baloney. The sooner a young boy learns that he needs a pair of stones to get anywhere in the world, the better. The deck is stacked against you. More people than not are rooting against you. Nobody wants you to win nearly as much as you do. 'Fair' is what you carve out for yourself and what you take. Treat me like a second class citizen all you want - I'll see you at the finish line.
Personally, I have always kind-of liked those odds. Kick arse!!!!
How utterly selfish these people are. With the advances in technology women can bear children later and later.
I'd much rather wait and find Mr. Right (conservative, bibliophile that he will be) than to even consider this route.
Ah, the best option is almost always one last drink and a look toward the next 48 hours.
This is baloney. The sooner a young boy learns that he needs a pair of stones to get anywhere in the world, the better. The deck is stacked against you. More people than not are rooting against you. Nobody wants you to win nearly as much as you do. 'Fair' is what you carve out for yourself and what you take. Treat me like a second class citizen all you want - I'll see you at the finish line.
Brilliant and dead solid on.
I'm out -- business dinner that requires I shave. Take it easy my friend.
Kick arse, amigo! ;-)
That reminds me: I need to get off FR and go abuse my kids for a while. Carry on.
My friend and I were just talking about this the other day. We are both shocked that the U.S. still has as many men as it does that go into the military. Even the military has been feminized to some degree though. It doesn't affect all boys but some of them have been brainwashed.
Me too--I also need to take care of this abused house.
---- It is always interesting to note how the media uses this to their advantage. When it is one of their protected groups, the person is considered a child - even if the person is 18 or 19. If not in the protected category - then it is a young man or woman. They play with words until they mean nothing. ----
Kind of like the word "baby".
When a woman holds a baby in her uterus that she wants, it is a "baby". When she holds a baby in her uterus that she does not want, it is a "fetus".
Whenever I hear a liberal woman talking about her "baby" the first thing I want to say is "oh..you must want it"
For too many of these single moms, the men in their lives are only in their lives for sex. In which case, other men's kids underfoot is just an annoyance and distraction they could do without. Yes, it does create pathologies among the kids.
Another danger to the kids are the "boyfriends" of older single moms who are only interested in the older single mom as an avenue to get sexual access to the child. And if she's desperate enough, she lets him
When we were raising our kids, there was a lot of hostility towards my wife because her "job" was being a full time mom.
I cannot understand people who leave their babies with sitters or nannies 11 hours a day, unless they're single and don't have a choice. This is the baby's life, and leaving them with others so you can get back to your desk and not lose your career position is not a good reason.
I can imagine a whole breed of these soulless kids. If the girl doesn't miss having a father, probably that part of her brain is missing.
While the mother may provide nurturance, it is largely up to the father to provide the moral & intellectual guidance. From what I'm seeing among the younger generation, there is a profound void among many of these fatherless children.
The controversy is not due to women consciously choosing have children.
(A father is m i s s i n g )
Another good option would be to find the bum that impregnated the girl and let him understand in very certain terms that he will be part of a wedding ceremony within nine months.
I'm generally suspcious of single women with children and tend to avoid them like the plague. I mean i cant help but question the judgement of a woman who has a child and is single. That kid deserves a father.
LOL, dont say that out loud now...
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.