Posted on 05/21/2006 11:55:33 AM PDT by Extremely Extreme Extremist
(CBS) CHICAGO It's a trend that some fear may have long-term consequences. More unmarried women over the age of 25 are not waiting for Mr. Right.
As CBS 2's Alita Guillen reports, these ladies are having children on their own.
The fantasy father at their fingertips is a sperm donor with all the right stuff.
Katherine Gehl and April Lashbrook had successful careers and dated, but they didn't have husbands. They heard their biological clocks ticking loudly.
"It was like a time bomb," April said.
"I need to go and have a baby and be a mother, and so I did," Katherine said.
Women used to depend on chemistry in the bedroom to conceive a child. Now, more and more women are turning to the lab and depending more on science than sex.
This twist on the mating game begins at a sperm bank, where donors can earn up to $900 a month.
"These guys are college students. This is a form of income," said California Cryobank Medical Director Dr. Cappy Rothman.
The sperm undergoes testing for diseases, genetic defects and blood type.
"Donor sperm, in many ways, is guaranteed good sperm," said Dr. Lauren Streicher, a gynecologist at Northwestern Memorial Hospital.
When April chose her donor in 2003, she got a long profile including a medical history and even written answers to questions.
"I knew immediately that was who I was going to choose," she said.
Now, many banks offer much more, including childhood photos and the donors' voices on CD.
Once chosen, the sperm remains frozen and stored until needed. Then it can be shipped anywhere.
While women can inseminate themselves at home, both April and Katherine used fertility specialists.
Many of these donors have already proven their fertility.
"It's an excellent way of getting pregnant because you usually have men who have confirmed pregnancy," said Dr. Brian Kaplan, a fertility specialist with Fertility Clinics of Illinois.
"We are creating a real potential disaster here," said Elizabeth Marquardt with New York City's Affiliate Scholar Institute for American Values.
Some critics are concerned that as this practice becomes more popular, and that with an unknown number of children from the same donor, that two of them might unknowingly hook up.
"In the future, we will have to have a DNA test with anyone we want to have sex with just to make sure we're not related to them," Marquardt said.
Many sperm banks say they try to limit pregnancies based on geographic area to reduce that risk. However, in a transient society, it may be hard to do.
Critics also worry how this might change the definition of family.
"As a society, we're saying fathers don't matter," Marquardt said.
Thirteen-year-old Liz Herzog, whose father is donor number 1002 from Virginia's Fairfax Cryobank, says she's happy with her life.
"I can't even say that once in a while I wish I had a father, because I don't," she said.
Through the Donor Sibling Registry Web site, she has discovered at least 10 half-sibling and has met seven, including Callie from Pennsylvania.
Liz's mother, Diana, thinks these newly forged relationships will last a lifetime.
"You can only hope that your child will be well-adjusted and happy enough when they grow up that they won't feel that they're missing too much," Diana Herzog said.
April's daughter, Julia, is now almost three years old.
"When she was born, it was just amazing," April said.
Katherine's daughter, Alexandra, is eight months old.
Both are enjoying every moment motherhood has to offer.
"It is so much greater than I had any idea," Katherine said.
April, Julia's mom, knows of six half-siblings so far.
All of the single moms we spoke with think the possibility of meeting and dating a half-sibling is very remote because they are very open or plan to be open with their children.
It is interesting to note that back when sperm banks first opened in the 1970s, it was all married couples seeking sperm donors. Doctors say those couples were more likely to keep it secret.
Very very true. However every dog has his day, even Dead Dog's
Interesting though. When I was single, I couldn't get the time of day in Everett...but Bellevue or Fremont was no problem. Go figure. Women like guys who are like their fathers, and if that means professionals, chronically employed men with ethics..that is what they will want. If it is emaciated crack heads with their hats on sideways...then they live in Everett.
That's certainly a big factor, you are right.
You wouldn't want one like that anyway.
That I completely understand. The article does not address that, unfortunately. I would hope these women would have male role models around for their children. That said, there are also (unfortunately) men who are fathers that are the worst role models imaginable. I would theorize to say that having a bad role model as a father is worse than not having one at all. But again, every single instance is different. Not all families are the same. Not all circumstances are the same.
I see on FR all the time conservatives that try to divorce the social and economic.
One lady opting to be a single mom isn't going to affect society much. But it's the cumulative affect of this societal trend that will have an impact. Problems brought on by negative societal trends/experiments begat social programs. Social programs begat social spending and governmental departments. Pretty soon your society is on a death spiral like Europe and Russia from which there is a little hope for recovery.
So what is Putin doing to reverse the negative impact of a low birth rate--he's offering money for women to have children. This is what lefties and Republicans unfortunately come up with over here as well to solve social problems--more spending. I don't think you can divorce the social health of a country and the economic health of a country.
Yes I agree and know there are rotten fathers around. My opinion however is that the dismissal of men (mainly by the left) being important in a child's life is not healthy for a society. I also think this attitude toward men is making men worse not better. It's not bringing out the best in women and not bringing out the best in men to say we can go it alone.
There's having a father, and actually having a father. In some upper-class families, the dad is too focused on career to be home being a dad for much of the time (which is how they got and stay upper-class)
Very true indeed. Which I think was the case.
Because too many og the guys willing to give attention to Daddy-starved kids are pedophiles
All of which furthers your central contention about changing family structures not at all. The model has, and is, the same...even though there are lesser and greater adherences to it. While shifts in economics and such are undeniable, the only true deviation in the family structure I can see over the past hundred years, and that being corrosive in nature, is the rise of the two-headed household.
Why are you so willing to answer a simple YES or NO question? Do you think abortion should be legal or not? I'm not interested in a "I wouldn't do it, but it's none of my business what others do" answer, I simply want to know if YOU think abortion should be illegal.
Thats very feminist of you.
Sorry but he is still the father. It may be a bad father but still the father despite your derision.
These women do not realize that men don't want to raise some other man's mistakes. Fatherhood is not a fungible comodity.
Well said.
Having children and raising them is about thing: SACRIFICE. If one is too self-involved to form a loving relationship that ends in marriage, then one doesn't need to start popping out babies. She needs to fix herself before starting to raise others.
I can't even imagine what it must be like for a child to grow up having been "fathered" by purchased sperm. Even kids whose fathers are no-good, ex-con, reprobates have kids who long to find them, to get one sign of love from them.
People who have not made the sacrifices to properly raise children cannot know what it really entails. Even children whose father has died have a man to point to and say "that's my daddy!"
This is part of the continuing effort by lesbitarians to attack the role of men in society. If they could, they'd be neutering boys instead of merely trying to make them into girls in conduct. Boys are treated like second class citizens in school now, and women who stay home are treated as if they're traitors to the cause.
Read it again. You're not paying attention.
That's definitely another problem. Many of these single mothers have numerous men floating in and out of their lives. I'm always reading about some poor baby being killed or abused by the boyfriend. Even if she is just in a relationship with one or two decent guys, it's not good because if it doesn't work out the child is attached if she's brought the man into the child's life.
Oh, and by your reasoning, you just condemned every man who has ever remarried a woman with children. There are plenty of good examples, even on this thread, of men who've stepped up to the plate and been a father to children who are not theirs biologically. Yes, there are even married couples who have to use donor sperm- yet the husband still raises the child as his own.
I bet you'd call a women who rejected a man's children (by your example) a b!tch.
Yep, if I'm a feminist, then you're a Neanderthal.
That is funny.
Boys are treated like second class citizens in school now...
I have got to read the War on Boys by Christina Hoff Sommers.
...women who stay home are treated as if they're traitors to the cause.
They had a female professor on Medved I believe that said just that. An article about her was posted on FR. You may have seen it. Can't remember her name off hand.
Why do you hate America, old people, small dogs and children?
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