Posted on 05/21/2006 11:55:33 AM PDT by Extremely Extreme Extremist
(CBS) CHICAGO It's a trend that some fear may have long-term consequences. More unmarried women over the age of 25 are not waiting for Mr. Right.
As CBS 2's Alita Guillen reports, these ladies are having children on their own.
The fantasy father at their fingertips is a sperm donor with all the right stuff.
Katherine Gehl and April Lashbrook had successful careers and dated, but they didn't have husbands. They heard their biological clocks ticking loudly.
"It was like a time bomb," April said.
"I need to go and have a baby and be a mother, and so I did," Katherine said.
Women used to depend on chemistry in the bedroom to conceive a child. Now, more and more women are turning to the lab and depending more on science than sex.
This twist on the mating game begins at a sperm bank, where donors can earn up to $900 a month.
"These guys are college students. This is a form of income," said California Cryobank Medical Director Dr. Cappy Rothman.
The sperm undergoes testing for diseases, genetic defects and blood type.
"Donor sperm, in many ways, is guaranteed good sperm," said Dr. Lauren Streicher, a gynecologist at Northwestern Memorial Hospital.
When April chose her donor in 2003, she got a long profile including a medical history and even written answers to questions.
"I knew immediately that was who I was going to choose," she said.
Now, many banks offer much more, including childhood photos and the donors' voices on CD.
Once chosen, the sperm remains frozen and stored until needed. Then it can be shipped anywhere.
While women can inseminate themselves at home, both April and Katherine used fertility specialists.
Many of these donors have already proven their fertility.
"It's an excellent way of getting pregnant because you usually have men who have confirmed pregnancy," said Dr. Brian Kaplan, a fertility specialist with Fertility Clinics of Illinois.
"We are creating a real potential disaster here," said Elizabeth Marquardt with New York City's Affiliate Scholar Institute for American Values.
Some critics are concerned that as this practice becomes more popular, and that with an unknown number of children from the same donor, that two of them might unknowingly hook up.
"In the future, we will have to have a DNA test with anyone we want to have sex with just to make sure we're not related to them," Marquardt said.
Many sperm banks say they try to limit pregnancies based on geographic area to reduce that risk. However, in a transient society, it may be hard to do.
Critics also worry how this might change the definition of family.
"As a society, we're saying fathers don't matter," Marquardt said.
Thirteen-year-old Liz Herzog, whose father is donor number 1002 from Virginia's Fairfax Cryobank, says she's happy with her life.
"I can't even say that once in a while I wish I had a father, because I don't," she said.
Through the Donor Sibling Registry Web site, she has discovered at least 10 half-sibling and has met seven, including Callie from Pennsylvania.
Liz's mother, Diana, thinks these newly forged relationships will last a lifetime.
"You can only hope that your child will be well-adjusted and happy enough when they grow up that they won't feel that they're missing too much," Diana Herzog said.
April's daughter, Julia, is now almost three years old.
"When she was born, it was just amazing," April said.
Katherine's daughter, Alexandra, is eight months old.
Both are enjoying every moment motherhood has to offer.
"It is so much greater than I had any idea," Katherine said.
April, Julia's mom, knows of six half-siblings so far.
All of the single moms we spoke with think the possibility of meeting and dating a half-sibling is very remote because they are very open or plan to be open with their children.
It is interesting to note that back when sperm banks first opened in the 1970s, it was all married couples seeking sperm donors. Doctors say those couples were more likely to keep it secret.
Excellent post, thank you. It's just when people start delving into designer genetic features of their artifically derived families, I get nervous.
I love the part about the boy who tracked down his biological father. Either it scared the socks off him(dad), or he was indeed proud. Wouldn't it have been wonderful for both of them to know each other under normal conditions? My bf is out for the day, so I couldn't ask him about Rabbinical approval for marriages, but in an Orthodox sect, I don't doubt that happening.
Thanks again for a very informative post : )
Translation: LIBERAL women are forced to have children in order ot accessorize their lives as a person would choose a car or clothing.
These children are going to definitly have problems later in life.
Translation: LIBERAL women are forced to have children in order ot accessorize their lives as a person would choose a car or clothing.
These children are going to definitly have problems later in life.
It's a reference to inbred hillbilly foreplay. Unfortunately, it's been years since I've heard the joke. Therefore my swiss cheese brain can't remember it. Some joker around here know it, I'm sure! Not sure who to ping...
Oh well...yet another offensive joke I'll probably never learn. :(
Heeheehee!
I grew up without a father and didn't long for one at all. I was given all the love possible by my mother and grandparents.
Yours too? I've got 17 and 10-year-old daughters. It's like O.J. and his jury.
Ladies, do not try this at home. I am a trained specialist.
What I find completely laughable about all the objections are that single women who get knocked up accidentally garner more sympathy than a woman who makes a conscious choice to have a child. I guarantee you these women who choose to have a child are doing so because they can afford it. Yet, some here would rather a woman sleep around, have children and potentially support them through welfare.
Then there's the 'why not adopt' crowd who encourage single women to adopt someone else's child instead of having their own. If the issue is the child not having a father, then why is adopting any different than a biological child?
That conclusion is so incredibly false. I guarantee that many of the women who are doing this are conservative. I know of at least three, as well as others who have blogs about their choices as single 'conservative' women. One gal even spoke to her Priest about it. He supported her 100%.
Where do you see that either of them are pro abortion? Back it up with facts. Simply supporting single motherhood does not make one pro abotion. In fact, those two issues are polar opposites.
"Goodbye men, it was nice knowing you."
Awe, come on, now. You guys are still useful for changing lightbulbs, chasing a wasp or a bat out of the house, re-packing my shotgun shells, mowing the lawn and cleaning out the garage from time to time.
I'm keeping the one that was dumb enough to fall for my feminine wiles. He's handy to have around. ;)
Anyone who desires a child should think of the child's welfare first. Children need a mother and father; of course, sometimes a parent may die, or desert the family. That can't be helped. But to purposely condemn a child to a fatherless existence is pure selfishness. Such a woman is having a child as an appendage to fulfill her "needs", rather than thinking what is best for the child.
If a woman really, really wants a child, she should really, really find a husband.
???????
...because the adopted child is already in a bad position...
Was that supposed to be a serious question?
"Daddy stop it, yer crushin' my Marlboros"!
That was close, and I'm sure there are several versions on this joke ;-)
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