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'Marriage Is for White People'
Washington Post ^ | 3/26/6 | Joy Jones

Posted on 03/25/2006 11:08:03 PM PST by Crackingham

I grew up in a time when two-parent families were still the norm, in both black and white America. Then, as an adult, I saw divorce become more commonplace, then almost a rite of passage. Today it would appear that many -- particularly in the black community -- have dispensed with marriage altogether.

But as a black woman, I have witnessed the outrage of girlfriends when the ex failed to show up for his weekend with the kids, and I've seen the disappointment of children who missed having a dad around. Having enjoyed a close relationship with my own father, I made a conscious decision that I wanted a husband, not a live-in boyfriend and not a "baby's daddy," when it came my time to mate and marry. My time never came. For years, I wondered why not. And then some 12-year-olds enlightened me.

"Marriage is for white people."

That's what one of my students told me some years back when I taught a career exploration class for sixth-graders at an elementary school in Southeast Washington. I was pleasantly surprised when the boys in the class stated that being a good father was a very important goal to them, more meaningful than making money or having a fancy title.

"That's wonderful!" I told my class. "I think I'll invite some couples in to talk about being married and rearing children."

"Oh, no," objected one student. "We're not interested in the part about marriage. Only about how to be good fathers."

And that's when the other boy chimed in, speaking as if the words left a nasty taste in his mouth: "Marriage is for white people."

(Excerpt) Read more at washingtonpost.com ...


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Editorial; News/Current Events; Philosophy
KEYWORDS: blackfamily; education; marriage; people; racist; racists; white
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To: Star Traveler
abortion and infanticide

I think it will be failure to solve the problem that will lead to the horrors we both fear...

No society will tolerate indefinitely the creation of a permanent dangerous social under-class because of ill conceived social policy.
161 posted on 03/26/2006 9:25:31 AM PST by cgbg (When you hear the words "gender" or "stakeholder" run for your life!)
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To: wtc911

Dependent.


162 posted on 03/26/2006 9:37:51 AM PST by Fawn (Need advice on speeding ticket.....)
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To: Paleo Conservative
There are quite a few people of Mexican Mestizo parentage who have blue or green eyes.

Gee, no kidding, really? I'm sorry I didn't post a disclaimer first and say "The fact that there are some people of Mexican Mestizo parentage who have blue or green eyes nonwithstanding, the Hispanic kids I teach definitely remark upon people with blue eyes and casually refer to 'white kids' all the time ..."

I'm just saying that the hispanic kids I know don't consider themselves white, according to their own words. I also included the disclaimer "maybe this is specific to inner city hispanic kids from Los Angeles" but why don't you occupy yourself picking through the rest of my quote to see if there is any other place I could have included a parenthetical or aside.

163 posted on 03/26/2006 9:39:25 AM PST by wizardoz
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To: dfwgator

Read the article in full if you haven't. The author is trying to explain why "marriage is white people" attitude is there, but fails to even consider the government check.


164 posted on 03/26/2006 9:49:43 AM PST by dpa5923 (Small minds talk about people, normal minds talk about events, great minds talk about ideas.)
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To: roadcat

From observing here in Nashville. I would surmise that black women who marry white men are more discriminating in their choices than most white women who couple with black men.

Therefore, black women are smarter by my account..lol

another thing....serial illegitimacy amongst lower class whites is surging..

Chinese, Indians and Kurds seem to be about the only ones around here resisting it.


165 posted on 03/26/2006 10:13:53 AM PST by wardaddy (you get older and you realize "tired" and "sleepy" are way different)
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To: onedoug

World ends, women and minorities hit hardest, details at 11...


166 posted on 03/26/2006 10:38:11 AM PST by dr_who_2
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To: Crackingham
Moreover, what in the hell does this lady know about slavery, and what does it have to do with the here and now? Is she suggesting that slaves 150 years ago had more sense than their descendents do now?
167 posted on 03/26/2006 10:42:04 AM PST by dr_who_2
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To: Crackingham
"Marriage is for white people."

Nothing at all racist in that statement... </SARCASM>

If in doubt as to my meaning, highlight the spaces flooloint ght "..."

168 posted on 03/26/2006 10:48:54 AM PST by TXnMA (TROP: Satan's most successful earthly venture...)
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To: Fawn
dependant? Hardly.

You have a child's view of marriage and the responsibilities that go with it. The fact that you think that only those who need a crutch to get through life get married betrays an astounding lack of maturity and understanding of the real adult world.

Enjoy your cats...give us call if you're ever ready to grow up.

169 posted on 03/26/2006 2:17:22 PM PST by wtc911 (You can't get there from here)
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To: wtc911

The people I know admit one thing to me. They got married because they didn't want to be alone....and wanted someone to depend on ....oh.....and throw in the extra money. Give me a break.


170 posted on 03/26/2006 2:31:07 PM PST by Fawn (Need advice on speeding ticket.....)
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To: nickcarraway
Hispanics are white.

Not all. Most Mexicans are mestizo, most Puerto Ricans and Dominicans are mixed African/European.

171 posted on 03/26/2006 2:36:39 PM PST by Clemenza (I Just Wasn't Made for These Times)
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To: Fawn
Marriage is for people who are insecure---they need security...period. You can be 'not married' and celibate...jeez....such ignorance.' Many people are not married for many reasons.

Well, It's obvious that you don't believe what God's Word says. I can't argue with an unbeliever.
172 posted on 03/26/2006 11:02:54 PM PST by garylmoore (Homosexuality: Obviously unnatural, so obviously wrong.)
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To: garylmoore

Your incorrect assumptions about me only confirm one thing.


173 posted on 03/27/2006 5:13:33 AM PST by Fawn
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To: Fawn

Your incorrect assumptions about me only confirm one thing

OK


174 posted on 03/27/2006 7:03:06 AM PST by garylmoore (Homosexuality: Obviously unnatural, so obviously wrong.)
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To: 4U2OUI

Racists at age 6. Geez.


I wouldn't call this child a racists. He's simply stating what he sees as a truthful observation. Think about it if what you see as normal is everyone( or the majority) in your community familial representation is that of momma, siblings, and the occassional booty-call visit from baby-daddy and then you observe another group of people( who by the way also have momma, siblings, booty-call daddy visits by not as pronounced) who marry and daddy is present, what would you conclude?....easy you'd conclude that that's how they do things and this is how we do things. Does that make you a racist? no! Just misguided.


175 posted on 03/27/2006 7:18:22 AM PST by CAPTAINSUPERMARVELMAN
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To: Crackingham
"Marriage is for White successful people"

Blacks in America today will unfortunately be overrepresented among the poor as long as they continue to turn their back on successful behaviors using the excuse of doing so would make them white.

When you visit Africa, you see a whole lot of married folk, and few if any of them are white.

176 posted on 03/27/2006 7:24:31 AM PST by HamiltonJay
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To: Crackingham

As long as teens have babies and quit HS without a male in the household, there will be a Democrat party!

But if a small percentage of blacks were to 'get off the Democrat plantation' and vote Republican, the Dems would be finished!


177 posted on 03/27/2006 7:34:08 AM PST by Shooter1001
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To: CAPTAINSUPERMARVELMAN

Mostly tongue-in-cheek sarcasm.

It's OK for black folk to say "white", but if I or my child were to make any statement of fact predicated on a persons skin color, it would be immediately branded as a racist statement.


178 posted on 03/27/2006 7:35:33 AM PST by 4U2OUI
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To: Crackingham

"If it weren't for the intangibles, the allure of the lovey-dovey stuff, I wouldn't have gotten married. The benefits of marriage are his character and his caring. If not for that, why bother?"

Another example of fighting God. He told us what we should do and now we see why it is better for us. Traditional Marriage is better for our society, and especially for children.

Mark 10:7
"For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife;"


179 posted on 03/27/2006 7:40:46 AM PST by xusafflyer (Mexifornian by birth, Hoosier by choice.)
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To: 4U2OUI

Mostly tongue-in-cheek sarcasm.

It's OK for black folk to say "white", but if I or my child were to make any statement of fact predicated on a persons skin color, it would be immediately branded as a racist statement.



I know that you meant it in jest, but it's sad that that's the perception out there and that was the point of my previous statements. These children's perceptions are skewered due to what has been allowed as being the accepted norm within the black community. Where everything that is wrong becomes accepted as the thing to do and fashionable.


180 posted on 03/27/2006 8:06:10 AM PST by CAPTAINSUPERMARVELMAN
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