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'Marriage Is for White People'
Washington Post ^ | 3/26/6 | Joy Jones

Posted on 03/25/2006 11:08:03 PM PST by Crackingham

I grew up in a time when two-parent families were still the norm, in both black and white America. Then, as an adult, I saw divorce become more commonplace, then almost a rite of passage. Today it would appear that many -- particularly in the black community -- have dispensed with marriage altogether.

But as a black woman, I have witnessed the outrage of girlfriends when the ex failed to show up for his weekend with the kids, and I've seen the disappointment of children who missed having a dad around. Having enjoyed a close relationship with my own father, I made a conscious decision that I wanted a husband, not a live-in boyfriend and not a "baby's daddy," when it came my time to mate and marry. My time never came. For years, I wondered why not. And then some 12-year-olds enlightened me.

"Marriage is for white people."

That's what one of my students told me some years back when I taught a career exploration class for sixth-graders at an elementary school in Southeast Washington. I was pleasantly surprised when the boys in the class stated that being a good father was a very important goal to them, more meaningful than making money or having a fancy title.

"That's wonderful!" I told my class. "I think I'll invite some couples in to talk about being married and rearing children."

"Oh, no," objected one student. "We're not interested in the part about marriage. Only about how to be good fathers."

And that's when the other boy chimed in, speaking as if the words left a nasty taste in his mouth: "Marriage is for white people."

(Excerpt) Read more at washingtonpost.com ...


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Editorial; News/Current Events; Philosophy
KEYWORDS: blackfamily; education; marriage; people; racist; racists; white
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To: LWalk18
For children living in a community where 93% of their peers are born out of wedlock, and after 2-3 generations of this behavior he/she know few that are married? I honestly don't know.

A tough one to answer, no doubt. It would probably take some disaster on the order of Katrina/New Orleans and the ensuing [permanent] relocation into an area that treats such things as marriage/parenthood the way it's supposed to be treated. A generation or so of that new environment may fix a good deal of the problems.

Right now, the problem seems to be "nurture" versus "nature." Blacks in too many areas are products of their unhealthy environments, and it's starting to become a real problem for them and everyone around them.

141 posted on 03/26/2006 7:52:47 AM PST by Future Snake Eater (The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.)
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To: durasell

My husband and I attended a foster-adopt seminar in CA before we had children, as we were both interested. That interest ended when they informed us that they would control how we disciplined our natural children if we became involved with the program. IE: NO spanking.

That was it for us.


142 posted on 03/26/2006 7:54:04 AM PST by Politicalmom (Must I use a sarcasm tag?)
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To: oh8eleven
The Negro Family: The Case For National Action, later to be known as the Moynihan Report. Thanks for the link, oh8. I'm surprised that is is unattributed on the DOL site but then again, look at the spelling in the URL.
143 posted on 03/26/2006 8:00:33 AM PST by NonValueAdded ("If I were a Cuban, I'd certainly be on a raft," Isane Aparicio Busto)
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To: onedoug

Those who automatically write, "Bush's fault," especially when Bush's name appears nowhere in the article, have nothing otherwise to contribute to the topic of the thread. BTW it is not even funny anymore; it has become trite and boorish. The electronic equivalent of littering.


144 posted on 03/26/2006 8:08:11 AM PST by Jason_b
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To: Crackingham
Who can blame a successful black female from wanting to avoid " . . . children and their mothers from previous relationships, limited earning power, and the fallout from years of drug use, poor health care, sexual promiscuity . . . " all of which is rampant among black males.

The problem starts with the males. Their role models are 50 Cent and Ludicris. The majority can't finish high school much less college, and then they refuse entry level jobs because it demeans their manhood. 25% have been to prison and they are 7 times more likely to commit a murder than a white person. High rates of other antisocial conduct is similar. (http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/bjs/homicide/race.htm).

Whoever finds the magic key to this puzzle deserves our thanks and appreciation.
145 posted on 03/26/2006 8:33:32 AM PST by anton
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To: nickcarraway
Hispanics are white.

Not according to the hispanic kids I teach. They clearly and outspokenly distinguish between themselves and whites. Now maybe this is specific to inner city hispanic kids from Los Angeles, but they definitely remark upon people with blue eyes and casually refer to "white kids" all the time.

146 posted on 03/26/2006 8:35:12 AM PST by wizardoz
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To: Jason_b
"...no doubt."
147 posted on 03/26/2006 8:37:14 AM PST by onedoug
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To: cgbg
emember to take any date to a restaurant and watch how she treats the waiter--because that could be you in a few years. :-)

Interesting observation.

148 posted on 03/26/2006 8:39:21 AM PST by wizardoz
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To: Calpernia
You don’t like to share? Girls, you’re sharing already – you just don’t know it.

Wow. Bummer.

So, Mohammed was black, eh? One of those Black Saudis? Heh heh heh...

149 posted on 03/26/2006 8:46:02 AM PST by wizardoz
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To: TAdams8591
And yes it's clear, the same attitude toward marriage is coming to white America as well

I think you're being a little dramatic
150 posted on 03/26/2006 8:49:06 AM PST by Vision ("There are no limits to growth because there are no limits of human intelligence" Ronald Reagan)
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To: NonValueAdded

Yes it is ..People forget how ahead of his time he was on this subject.


151 posted on 03/26/2006 8:50:44 AM PST by aureliusk
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To: Tuscaloosa Goldfinch

no kidding..

I am always very happy when I see black couples who look like they share my values but it is not common

it was much more common when I was a boy


152 posted on 03/26/2006 8:51:26 AM PST by wardaddy
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To: Crackingham

And??


153 posted on 03/26/2006 8:54:22 AM PST by ExtremeUnction
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To: Post Toasties
I find your post most interesting. I googled "international communist movement" and found current pages by communist believers talking about regrouping, and getting the thing going again, right now! A link to make it easy for you. I had no idea. There is a lot to read and I just might read it to learn more about it.

In this country, we can see what the results are. For example, Hollywood, Congress, Democrats, lawyers, Unions, even the Federal Reserve and the IRS, are all vectors for Communist ideology. Some of you will object, the federal reserve? Put on tinfoil hats! Ssshhhh. It's the jooooos! But look at the national debt. Rising prices and dollar devaluation. Jefferson warned us of perpetual debt. Was Jefferson a tinfoiler? Collectivism is everywhere. The governing elite is inbred communism. Look at your public schools, monopolies, cesspools of academic failure and acculturation, with all but totally forced attendance. Resistance to home schooling. Watch what happens when a bible shows up in a classroom, or a tablet of the 10 commandments shows up in a courthouse. Our inablility to control our borders is part of it.

These things are not holdovers from a bygone era. They are actively promoted today by believers in communism in our government, in our academia. I don't mean this in a bad way to offend, but perhaps the greater ignorance is yours? In that you, we, all of us, don't appreciate the world is filled with believers in communism and are actively promoting it, is what I'm saying. And that it disserves us to dismiss it so blithely, and declare it defunct.

We Americans don't multitask very well. We want to fight one enemy at a time. It is hard for one hero to fight two bad guys, except in the movies. But wars are often fought on more than one front. We have awakened to the threat of islamism, more or less. Islamism is not a red herring, but it could become one if we fail to recognize the threats coming concurrently from active communism and resist them as well. Communism could well bury us, to use a familiar expression, while we are diverted and distracted by islamic fundamentalism, our current one concern. Perhaps the communists already realize this and are exploiting our tunnel vision.

154 posted on 03/26/2006 8:58:27 AM PST by Jason_b
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To: Star Traveler

Whatever happened to the human race?


155 posted on 03/26/2006 9:00:53 AM PST by 4U2OUI
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To: wizardoz; nickcarraway; Crackingham
Now maybe this is specific to inner city hispanic kids from Los Angeles, but they definitely remark upon people with blue eyes and casually refer to "white kids" all the time.

There are quite a few people of Mexican Mestizo parentage who have blue or green eyes.

156 posted on 03/26/2006 9:01:32 AM PST by Paleo Conservative
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To: RIGHT IN LAS VEGAS

Told you! The "corral" bit was over the top.


157 posted on 03/26/2006 9:03:33 AM PST by 4U2OUI
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To: Crackingham

ow how bad this sounds, and I really hate to think it -- but honestly, Sometimes in the face of evidence -- Every other race moving ahead Asians of every stripe and hue, American Indians {the casinos help}, and certainly hispanics, the newest, largest minority -- in the face of all the evidence, it sometimes is hard to keep thinking that blacks really ARE able to make it on their own.

Maybe they just aren't as good.

Incidentally, I'd vote for Condoleeza Rice for President in a minute, and any search of my previous posts would prove it.


158 posted on 03/26/2006 9:06:31 AM PST by 9999lakes
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To: Fawn
Marriage is for people who are insecure---they need security...period.

===================================================

Child.

159 posted on 03/26/2006 9:08:43 AM PST by wtc911 (You can't get there from here)
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To: Dr. Scarpetta
But let me tell you prophet Mohamed, peace be unto him, was a black man just like me and you.

If he was born in Arabia, that technically makes Mad Mo an Asian

160 posted on 03/26/2006 9:17:45 AM PST by SauronOfMordor (A planned society is most appealing to those with the hubris to think they will be the planners)
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