Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

'Marriage Is for White People'
Washington Post ^ | 3/26/6 | Joy Jones

Posted on 03/25/2006 11:08:03 PM PST by Crackingham

I grew up in a time when two-parent families were still the norm, in both black and white America. Then, as an adult, I saw divorce become more commonplace, then almost a rite of passage. Today it would appear that many -- particularly in the black community -- have dispensed with marriage altogether.

But as a black woman, I have witnessed the outrage of girlfriends when the ex failed to show up for his weekend with the kids, and I've seen the disappointment of children who missed having a dad around. Having enjoyed a close relationship with my own father, I made a conscious decision that I wanted a husband, not a live-in boyfriend and not a "baby's daddy," when it came my time to mate and marry. My time never came. For years, I wondered why not. And then some 12-year-olds enlightened me.

"Marriage is for white people."

That's what one of my students told me some years back when I taught a career exploration class for sixth-graders at an elementary school in Southeast Washington. I was pleasantly surprised when the boys in the class stated that being a good father was a very important goal to them, more meaningful than making money or having a fancy title.

"That's wonderful!" I told my class. "I think I'll invite some couples in to talk about being married and rearing children."

"Oh, no," objected one student. "We're not interested in the part about marriage. Only about how to be good fathers."

And that's when the other boy chimed in, speaking as if the words left a nasty taste in his mouth: "Marriage is for white people."

(Excerpt) Read more at washingtonpost.com ...


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Editorial; News/Current Events; Philosophy
KEYWORDS: blackfamily; education; marriage; people; racist; racists; white
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-20 ... 101-120121-140141-160 ... 181-185 next last
To: Star Traveler

It is absolutely disgusting.

A 'sales pitch' always has a 'target market'.

Even if we rapidly came up with an answer to the welfare state system now, we would need to counter the 'sales pitch' recruitment as a quick problem solver.


121 posted on 03/26/2006 5:44:41 AM PST by Calpernia (Breederville.com)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 119 | View Replies]

To: LWalk18

I pray that you're able to find a man who has the same values about marriage that you do. I personally think that a lot of children of divorced parents grow up thinking "I will never get divorced." I know both my husband and I (both products of divorced parents) decided long before we even met each other that when we got married, it was going to be for life. I would look forward, and know that God has someone wondeful for you out there, and when it's time, you'll meet him.


122 posted on 03/26/2006 5:45:30 AM PST by arizonarachel (wear our the cats? 2-24-06)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 41 | View Replies]

To: Crackingham

I am totally fed up with these racist remarks against my white brotherhood.


123 posted on 03/26/2006 5:47:36 AM PST by gathersnomoss
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Post Toasties

"The author of this piece obviously has little understanding of the many benefits to the children of two parent families."

Sounds to me as if SHE does, but lives in an environment where the vast majority don't bother with marriage: "I made a conscious decision that I wanted a husband, not a live-in boyfriend and not a "baby's daddy," when it came my time to mate and marry. My time never came."

The author also stayed in school, and went to college. More "white values."

Another legacy of LBJ's Great Society.


124 posted on 03/26/2006 5:51:47 AM PST by EDINVA
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 8 | View Replies]

To: Crackingham
But working mothers, unmarried couples living together, out-of-wedlock births, birth control, divorce and remarriage have transformed the social landscape.

Why did she leave out abortion?

125 posted on 03/26/2006 5:55:08 AM PST by Tribune7
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Post Toasties

The great irony in the DC black community is the dissolution of marriage and outrageous illegitimacy rates, while simultaneously you will find at least 5 well-attended churches per city block in the city's black neighborhoods.

It's not at all unusual for the 45-50 year old grandmother to be raising her 3 daughters' 6 or 7 childen by 4 or 5 different fathers, while being an elder in the church they all attend.


126 posted on 03/26/2006 6:06:38 AM PST by EDINVA
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 28 | View Replies]

To: Crackingham
Sadly, this has now become a cultural belief in the black community.

And there is a black culture in America. There is a sphere of influence that a large proportion of blacks ascribe too. If you don't believe this cultural is deeply entrenched, note that it rejected the giant, Bill Cosby, when he opposed it.

This problem will not be rectified easily.
127 posted on 03/26/2006 6:10:05 AM PST by Paine's Ghost
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: texasbluebell
In D.C. there are all manner of children who don't know who their father is. What is worse there are children who don't know who the mother is.

D.C. is a socialist cesspool. It is a social labratory experiment gone mind bendingly bad.

128 posted on 03/26/2006 6:13:11 AM PST by Jimmy Valentine (DemocRATS - when they speak, they lie; when they are silent, they are stealing the American Dream)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 13 | View Replies]

To: Tribune7
Why did she leave out abortion?

It's not an issue.

I posted a thread requesting prayer for a very ill newborn (who later died) the other day. One of my black co-workers (deacon at his church, plays piano & organ there) who I told about the situation, said: "It's too bad they didn't know before the baby was born. They could have got an abortion."

129 posted on 03/26/2006 6:24:01 AM PST by nina0113
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 125 | View Replies]

To: garylmoore

Marriage is for people who are insecure---they need security...period. You can be 'not married' and celibate...jeez....such ignorance.' Many people are not married for many reasons.


130 posted on 03/26/2006 6:32:03 AM PST by Fawn (Need advice on speeding ticket.....)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 26 | View Replies]

To: texasbluebell

You say, "Someone else posted about the white illegitimacy rate, it was reported recently that it's now I think 30%. We're well on the way to seeing the dissolution of the family, but that's exactly what the socialists are after."

Sad to say, black or white, welfare encourages the laziest and the dumbest of our population to have as many children as possible. All this while the rest of us stop at the average of two children due to the fact that this is what we feel we can afford in terms of time and money. Not a good trend for the future of this country.


131 posted on 03/26/2006 6:43:09 AM PST by onevoter
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 23 | View Replies]

To: Jimmy Valentine's brother
Yes indeed! When the Government steps in the male steps out as he is no longer required. Every feminists dream. It would be fun to dig that paper out and see just how prescient it was. You can bet that it's not discussed in any black studies course, even at Harvard.

But this is no longer limited to the male. Our government was once predominantly a paternal figure but with the feminization of America, it is shifting more to the maternalism. We are entering the nanny state and it will be interesting to see the effect on families when both parental roles are displaced.

Marx said that God and Family had to go for the state to be supreme.

132 posted on 03/26/2006 6:56:19 AM PST by Paine's Ghost
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 108 | View Replies]

To: dfwgator
"And why not? After all the gubmint replaced a man with a check."

And that check increased when there were more kids, and still no father.

I wonder what that led to? /sarc

133 posted on 03/26/2006 7:13:08 AM PST by libs_kma (USA: The land of the Free....Because of the Brave!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 15 | View Replies]

To: nickcarraway
Hispanics are white.

For many governmental purposes, Hispanics are classified as white. In the FBI Uniform Crime Reports, Hispanic criminals are classified as white, while Hispanic victims are classified as Hispanic. Hispanic welfare recipients are treated as white for statistical purposes (leading to the claim that "most welfare recipients are white", when in reality non-Hispanic whites account for a third or less of recipients)

Genetically, you can classify a white person from Spain, a black Portugese-speaking person from Brazil, a pure Indian from South America, and any combination in between as "Hispanic", which means it's not a good classifier

Operationally, most people we see who we classify as Hispanic are mestizos (mix of Caucasian and south-of-the-Rio-Grande Indian).

134 posted on 03/26/2006 7:14:17 AM PST by SauronOfMordor (A planned society is most appealing to those with the hubris to think they will be the planners)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 69 | View Replies]

To: Star Traveler
I remember Francis Schaeffer making arguments against abortion, and pointing out how (if we were really against abortion and against infanticide) that we needed to support the young mother, at her moment of crisis.

That's what we have been doing, in the Welfare State. It's made paradises of our inner cities, hasn't it?

Better solution: abolish welfare and also social security

That changes the incentive system to the workable system that used to exist: raise educated, hard working self-supporting kids who might want to support you in your old age. Or else

135 posted on 03/26/2006 7:24:38 AM PST by SauronOfMordor (A planned society is most appealing to those with the hubris to think they will be the planners)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 96 | View Replies]

To: NonValueAdded

Well its STILL Bush's fault; even back in 1965...
< sarcasm/off >


136 posted on 03/26/2006 7:35:09 AM PST by Nat Turner (DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]

To: dfwgator
As bad as Jimmy Carter may have been as President, LBJ did a lot more damage to this country than Jimmy Carter ever could have done.

And don't forget that his "Great Society" was largely made up of notions contained in JFK's "New Frontier" that Kennedy was unable to push through Congress.

I don't agree entirely with your premise. Carter sold us out to our international enemies and continues to work energetically toward that goal as ex-President. With Roosevelt and JFK as his 'visionary' masters, LBJ engineered the permanent American Welfare State.

137 posted on 03/26/2006 7:36:29 AM PST by Bernard Marx (Fools and fanatics are always certain of themselves, but the wise are full of doubts.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 22 | View Replies]

To: Jimmy Valentine's brother; NonValueAdded
It would be fun to dig that paper out and see just how prescient it was.
The Negro Family: The Case For National Action
[snip]
"Such a national effort could be stated thus:

The policy of the United States is to bring the Negro American to full and equal sharing in the responsibilities and rewards of citizenship. To this end, the programs of the Federal government bearing on this objective shall be designed to have the effect, directly or indirectly, of enhancing the stability and resources of the Negro American family."
138 posted on 03/26/2006 7:39:32 AM PST by oh8eleven (RVN '67-'68)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 108 | View Replies]

To: onedoug
Bush's fault, no doubt.

No...in the case of Blacks, its Johnson's fault...His "Great Society" literally destroyed the Black family.

139 posted on 03/26/2006 7:41:34 AM PST by pop-gun (A dumbed down population is more dangerous to our country than terrorism.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: SauronOfMordor

It appears that many blacks (according to another poster here) consider anybody with a lighter skin than they who don't have any obvious black parenthood as being white. That's a nonstarter from any reasonable viewpoint (since it willy-nilly classifies about four billion people on earth as being exactly the same as Europeans and North American Caucasions), but apparently suits their racialist prejudices.


140 posted on 03/26/2006 7:42:18 AM PST by Post Toasties
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 134 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-20 ... 101-120121-140141-160 ... 181-185 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson