Posted on 03/18/2006 7:03:00 PM PST by goldstategop
The miracle of Purim owes much to a superficial, womanizing male who set about dating as many women as possible to find the one that was the most beautiful. Ahasuerus is like so many shallow men today who reduce women to nothing but a slim figure and a pretty face. But in the end, the story of Esther makes it clear that the secretly Jewish queen was chosen not for her looks, but because she "found grace and favor" in the eyes of all who beheld her. There was a womanly dignity, a sublime feminine majesty, to Esther that the rest of the harem lacked. They were empty suits, packaging only, without substance or personality. They were the kind of women who attract attention with low-cut blouses rather than high intelligence, short skirts rather than a lofty spirit. But Esther is a woman possessed both of outer and inner beauty, a heroine who exhibits uncommon wisdom, courage and dedication to the helpless. In short, she is a woman of outstanding character and her story is that of the triumph not only of the Jews over their enemies, but also of a woman's ability to win over a man with her brains rather than her bust.
How tragic, therefore, that Jewish men today have adopted the dating mores of Ahasuerus. And I'm not just talking about secular Jewish men whom we might expect to have adopted less lofty criteria in their choice of a mate. Rather, I am speaking especially of Orthodox Jewish men who have become so obsessed with the three modern virtues of a real woman - large chest, long legs, slim figure - that heart, mind, even the sparkle of her eyes, count for almost nothing.
I once served as matchmaker-in-chief for JDate. But I now find matchmaking nauseating thanks to the dispiriting superficiality of today's Jewish men. I now know that the countless men who tell me how desperate they are to find a really nice girl are lying through their teeth because what they really mean is a woman who looks like a model. At my weekly Sabbath table, where I host many singles, I watch as the men immediately dismiss even the most interesting women with the warmest hearts if they lack a bombshell body.
If she's short, she's out, and if she's overweight, well, that's the kiss of death. I'll set up men with women who I know to be attractive and charming, only to have the guy call me back the next day and complain of a lack of chemistry, by which he always means, "She wasn't pretty enough." The poor woman never had a chance. Before she opened her mouth, her body did her in.
BUT WHY would we expect anything different? Superficial people seek superficial qualities, and men today are about as deep as a crack in the sidewalk. They have been given one criterion for success, money, and they use that money as a commodity to purchase a woman's chief commodity, her physical beauty. Today's religious men are trained to appreciate little else.
I know a 20-year-old Jewish girl who developed a dangerous eating disorder because her very religious parents told her that unless she lost weight the type of yeshiva student they wanted her to marry would not take her out.
But weren't Jewish men, especially Orthodox ones, supposed to be different? The nation that gave the world's Solomon's Ode to a Woman of Valor, where a woman's God-fearing qualities are what make her beautiful, have betrayed that ideal utterly. If you are a woman in the Jewish singles scene who isn't stunningly attractive, you're going to wait a long time to get married. And once you're married, you better keep your looks up, because the women who are going to be praying with you in the ladies' section spend five hours in the gym for every hour they spend in the synagogue. They're not fools. They know that their husbands are trained to appreciate muscle tone rather than piety. And don't have more than two children, even though we need as many Jewish babies as possible, because kids will make your figure go to hell and your breasts droop almost as far.
NEVER believed that I would witness a time when even marriage-minded, Orthodox men would become womanizers, giving themselves the latitude to date as many women as possible so that they can find "the best." In yeshiva I was taught one did not date a woman the way one shopped for a car. Rather, you focused on one woman completely and tried to develop a soulful connection with her without worrying about what else might be out there.
Recently, I had a young rabbinical student of marriageable age at my home. He told me he had already dated 40 girls and had not found what he was looking for. I was stunned. "Forty nice, religious girls, and not one of them was good enough for you?"
But anyone familiar with the increasingly toxic shidduch system among the ultra-Orthodox knows that what many young men are looking for is anathema to Jewish values, namely, looks, money and pedigree. Find all three and you have hit the jackpot. Find only one, or even two, and you have "to settle."
Now, no doubt, in the secular world marrying money and marrying into an important family are also important. But when religious Jews marry for materialistic and ego-driven values, they degrade a glorious spiritual tradition.
It is high time that rabbis started giving sermons from the pulpit exhorting single men in the congregation to be gentlemen and reward women for developing the traits that Judaism truly values like compassion, wisdom and goodness. While physical attraction is always important in marriage - both for men and for women - Jewish leaders must begin inspiring future husbands to judge their wives' attractiveness by considerations beyond flesh alone. For if we fail, we'll continue seeing Jewish women feeling permanently insecure about their "imperfect bodies" rather than taking pride in their generous spirits.
Actually, Scarlet Johanssen (the blonde in the final picture) is quite intelligent, despite being a lefty. Feisty, intelligent, and curvy are register well with yours truly.
Hottest political commentator, bar none, is Michelle Malkin. I'm still waiting for her spread in Maxim.
I would never throw her out of the passenger seat of my moving car, she's wow!
Yeah he does and I'm sure he'd rather forget :D
Actually, that was fragrant hippie chick pie wagons...but who noticed?
All they'll need is some four eyed geek in an LCF (launch control facility) or a boomer that has enough strength to turn a key, actually two of them. (Sorry all you blue suiters with pocket rockets). Or a little guy controlling a big bomber.
BTW, I'm 5'11' and weighed around 200 lbs, the last time I put on my blue suit. So, while I'm four eyed, and a geek, I'm not a little one, nor a weak one. I'm also older'n dirt. But then so is my wife, la Profesora, so it all works out OK. :)
OK, keep going. Just where does Hollywood get their notion of the ideal female?
PS I returned in 2004 from deployment to Central Asia (Uzbekistan). Some of the most beautiful women I have ever seen (plenty of American women on base for comparison) among the Uzbeks. Slender, sloe-eyed, and could walk down the sidewalk anywhere in U.S.
Sure wish I wasn't too old to be their dad.
Lot's of those here in Califonria as well. :)
I've seen you take unfair criticism for this observation, so I'll help by clarifying it: Few quality women are interested in marrying an obsessed hunk. The last thing a substantive woman needs is a man in love with his muscles.
Men want the perferct blonde babe they see in Playboy and women want Mr.Moneybags. The reality is that people are not perfect. Women should be happy with what they have and not live a lie. Men should do the same too. However, dating is brutal esp. in large urban areas where women outnumber men. Men who are 'shallow' are just being the visual creatures that they are.
Less Hollywierd and more Venice Beach?
I sense I'm missing an inside joke... >:-P
If I was fortunate enough to meet a girl who would work as hard as someone did from 100 years ago, and who knew her role in the family as they did 100 years ago, and who wasn't so stand offish or stand alone I-can-prove-I-can-do-it-myself feminazi types I would probably like her character too.
These days everyone is supposed to take a backseat to women. To hell with all of them.
There is nothing wrong with a woman getting an education and nothing wrong with them being smart. In fact I like that stuff. In the same breath though happiness comes when you are loving and doing something nice for someone else out of your own care for them. When that mutually happens then things are the way I want them to be.
Odds of that happening are slim to none and its not nessesarily the guy's fault.
Basically put I don't care if these girls go jump off of a cliff. Until they show me that they give a damn about anyone except themselves I don't care one whit about any of them. Let them suffer until they learn.
I dunno. Most of my adult life from 80-96 in Colombia, Brasil, Venezuela, Dom Rep, Guatemala, Paraguay, Nicaragua etc. Residence in South Miami/Kendall, Brickell, Coral Gables...my two daughters born at Mercy in the Grove Ex-shrew is Brasilian and looks just like Salma Hayek with precisely the same DNA background. left out scores of latin "girlfriends"...Colombian were my favorite...except one babe in Merida Venezuela and I really like women from Spain and Italy too
Does that qualify? Latin women like being women and enjoy being feminine and rarely wish to compete with their men. However, some latin chicks don't do much for me....especially if they have spent too much time in NYC or LA....Miami, Dallas or even here in Nashville is cool
this is all just idle chit chat btw...my wife is everything to me....about the hottest pregnant 41 year old you could find and she is 100% Butternut Dixie just like me but I'm not blind....
Yeah, thats true. They tend to include the wallet as well.
That whole post deserves a massive BUMP.
I do and some do have hot tempers. Most are gorgeous when young, but once married, most seem to feel it's time to let it go and turn into blimps.
With their genes and diet, they have a rough time staying fit IMO.
They are gorgeous women though.
Women are just as shallow.
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