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A Few of FR's Finest...Every Day...02-16-06...VP Guns Down Moderate Republican (Satire)
Chris Davis | February 16, 2006 | Chris Davis, Writer33; DollyCali

Posted on 02/16/2006 4:48:40 AM PST by DollyCali



A Few of FR's Finest....Every Day
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Vice President Guns Down
Moderate Republican (Satire)
by Writer33





Washington—In what is sure to bring the White House crumbling down, Vice President Dick Cheney shot a fellow hunter—a moderate Republican and lawyer—claiming it to be a hunting accident and hiding the atrocity for 24 hours before press secretary, Scott McClellan held a press conference.

The accident happened about 5:30 p.m. on a private ranch about 200 miles south of San Antonio, where the vice president has hunted previously. Whittington was treated incognito on the scene by Cheney’s traveling medical detail before being taken by helicopter to the hospital. This allowed Vice President Cheney more time in coming up with a story, as well as prepare President Bush for a possible response.



The responses from the White House were slow in coming, considering President Bush knew what happened the night of the accident and failed to report it to the White House press corps. The egregious error has put the spotlight on Vice President Cheney, President Bush and the lack of any disseminating of information.



The public perception of Cheney’s secretiveness and high and mighty attitude has been heightened by these recent episodes. The hunting accident also has exposed certain disarray and utter incompetence within the Bush administration. The mainstream media—in their efforts to save the world—are calling for Vice President Cheney’s resignation and impeachment of President Bush, leaving the frail Whittington to waste away in the hospital.

The poor, moderate victim, Harry Whittington, 78, reportedly took pellets in his cheek, neck and chest during Vice President Cheney’s vicious attack while claiming he aimed for a bird during a hunt in southern Texas on Saturday. Mr. Whittington was pronounced in stable condition at a Corpus Christi hospital, surviving the onslaught of the merciless shooting, but recently suffered a heart attack after one of Cheney’s pellets moved to his heart.

All seemed well on the surface, but Mr. Whittington claimed that conversations came up involving tax increases to pay for Bush’s war as well as finding no weapons of mass destruction or any links to al-Qaeda in Iraq. Some of the other topics, he noted, were issues on Bush’s illegal wire tapping of innocent civilians, including an adamant stand on moderate behavior and a need for a move to the center for the Republican Party.


Mr. Harry Whittington


“I went to the bathroom and came back,” whimpered Harry Whittington, a Republican lawyer. “The next thing you know I see Vice President Cheney blasting away with an evil glare in his eye. It was horrific! All I could do was yell ‘help, extremist!’ America needs more moderation. Just look at what we have now!”

Whittington was moved out of intensive care on Monday afternoon but Peter Banko, administrator of Christus Spohn Hospital, indicated that he didn’t know when he would be discharged, especially considering recent events and that “Mr. Whittington was lucky to have come back from the hunting trip alive with the party of Genghis Khan.”

“I’ve never seen anything like this,” claimed Peter Banko. “This is just one of the most extreme, brutal attacks I’ve ever seen in all my years as a hospital administrator. It’s just like a hardcore, conservative animal to unleash his wrath on an innocent moderate like Mr. Whittington. I want charges filed now! We’ve got to bring down the terror in the White House!”



“You can’t tell me, an experienced hunter,” noted Sen. John Kerry,” D-MA, “that Vice President Cheney couldn’t see the man while wearing the blaze orange cap and vest. It’s absurd to believe anything otherwise. If they’re not wire tapping your phone, then they’re shooting members of their own party to keep them quiet. I think it’s time for hearings.”

“I’m in agreement with Senator Kerry,” stated Sen. Ted Kennedy, D-MA. “This accident could’ve cost the man the loss of his sight, or even worse, the loss of his life. I think it’s a bit hypocritical of this administration to say that they want to protect Americans and then go around shooting them.”

“I am so ashamed of this party,” cried Sen. Susan Collins, R-ME. “I just wish they could learn to use a little moderation once in a while. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it!”

“I am sick and tired of those that say that disagreeing with this administration is wrong,” shouted Sen. Hillary Clinton, D-NY. “It is our right as Americans to question authority, especially when they shoot moderate Americans and withhold the information for 24 hours. It’s time that we repealed the Second Amendment and ban hunting in America all together!”

“I think the press is just a pack of hyenas out for blood,” quipped Scott McClellan, White House spokesman. “They’re over reacting and completely missing the point. The point is that the Vice President was aiming center mass. It was a great shot!”



` “This administration is the most secretive administration in modern history,” stated Harry Reid, D-NV. “The vice president accidentally shoots someone—albeit a lawyer—and then keeps that a secret for nearly a day. I don’t even recognize America anymore. This White House has got to go now!”

The lack of disseminating information just may be the straw that broke the proverbial White House’s back, ending in shackles for Vice President Cheney and President Bush. There was a time when conservative Americans could always count on a Republican that couldn’t pull the trigger, but by shooting a moderate Republican, Vice President Cheney has staked a claim on the Republican Party, the Second Amendment and gun control.




Chris Davis
Writer33






12-28-05 ~ Hall of Fame #14

THIS WEEK'S THREADS

02-13-06 Military Monday

02-14-06 Valentine's Day at the Finest

02-15-06 Pets and Friends

Opinions by our own 'King of Ping'
Every Thursday at the Finest
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TOPICS: News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: 28gaugeisforbirds; accidentshappen; birdshot; birdstamp; blazeorange; cheney; cheneyistheman; chrisdavis; covey; dontsneakup; dubelievesthis; guns; hunting; huntingregs; huntingsafety; kerry; media; press; quail; quailhunting; satire; shotguns; somecallthissatire; somecallthistrue; texansknowthetruth; whittington; writer33
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1 posted on 02/16/2006 4:48:44 AM PST by DollyCali
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To: DollyCali

Thanks Dolly -- good job!


2 posted on 02/16/2006 5:00:13 AM PST by Tuba Guy (I don't remember, I can't recall, I have no memory of that .....)
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To: Aquamarine; Billie; dutchess; Mama_Bear; The Mayor; GodBlessUSA; JustAmy; LUV W; Mrs.Nooseman; ...
Vice President Guns
Down Moderate Republican





Sorry if you are receiving a duplicate ping.
Both Writer33 and the Finest Lists are being pinged
You may be on both.



3 posted on 02/16/2006 5:01:07 AM PST by DollyCali (Don't tell GOD how big your storm is -- Tell the storm how B-I-G your God is!)
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To: Tuba Guy

In before the ping! Good job! How are things in Tuba-land ? (and the warmer climate you wisely chose to live in?)


4 posted on 02/16/2006 5:04:25 AM PST by DollyCali (Don't tell GOD how big your storm is -- Tell the storm how B-I-G your God is!)
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To: DollyCali





May the Lord of great love and of creation keep the men and women of our military in His loving and eternal care. May the families be immersed with peace and comfort as they proudly know their loved ones are giving their best for the things that are dear to all of us. AMEN


Below are names of some of our FReepers' loved ones who are serving our country. If you have someone you would like to add, please address a post to Billie; Mama_Bear; Dutchess; The Mayor; GodBlessUSA; DollyCali, and we will add their name to this list. As we pray for them, we pray also for all our nation’s leaders, and military personnel, and their families and friends. May God hold them close to His heart.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


gator girl........................husband
severa............husband, brother
Maigrey............................cousin
mystery-ak.............son, husband
Gogrammy...................grandson
Inspectorette.......................son
Blessed American..........nephew
Slip18..........................nephew
Diver Dave.......niece, nephew
ConspiracyGuy........2 nephews
Pippin............niece's husband
sneakers..............................son
weldgophardline.....brotherinlaw
jamaly.................brotherinlaw
Future Snake Eater..........cousin
WaterDragon.............grandson
WaterDragon...........son-in-law
BeforeISleep...................son
kimmie7......................brother
Armymarinemom............3 sons
american_ranger.............son
LadyX.........................grandson
fawn796.......................nephew
ValerieUSA....................2 sons
Lakeside........................2 sons
LakeLady......................nephew
Spruce.........................daughter
Leofl......................................son
chena......................................son
Hope and Glory..................son
Philman_36..............2 nephews
bjcintennessee.......son, niece
TheMayor...............friends'son
homeschoolmama...........nephew
ariamne...................2 cousins
mhking.........................cousin
visualops..........................cousin
auboy.............................cousin
Ladysmith..nephew, friend's son
tina07......soninlaw & his friend
MontanaCowgirlCop.......brother
Misty4jc........................husband
Colorado Slim................nephew
Tapatio....................2 nephews
ProudAFDad............................son
Alouette................................son
Katydidnt..............................son
Q6-God...................twin brother
Q6-God.....................active duty
Warrior Nurse...........active duty
SK1 Thurman...........active duty
David Osborne.........active duty
fc2tomschermuly......active duty
bkwells....................active duty
LongCut....................active duty
cjk...........................active duty
Trish.........................active duty
ODC-GIRL.................active duty
AF_Blue...................active duty
Notwithstanding.......active duty
thumperusn..............active duty
Veloxherc.................active duty
Don Simmons...........active duty
wingnutx...................active duty
Old Sarge.................active duty
CGblue.....................active duty
bigghurtt...................active duty
frankiep....................active duty
veeceeque................active duty
JRios1968...............active duty
NoLongerFreeState....active duty
wolf creek………….daughter
JesseJane ............ cousin
SoldiersPrayingMom...............son
WakeUpandVote...........brother
kimmykay ……….son
mrs tiggywinkle............cousin
cyber ant……...nephew
Earthdweller..…..nephew
Nadine…………………
.nephewweldgophardline…….son
jrushing...…...son

OhioWfan................................son
ladtx..................................2 MozartLover...........son, nephew
ak_daddoo........................nephew
Dubya............................nephew
LBGA (RIP)..........................son
katykelly..............................son
cookcounty.............................son
SpookBrat........................nephew
SpookBrat........................cousin
Doug from Upland............soninlaw
Himyar....................................son
boxerblues........................2 sons
the piper....................................son
sheeza................................husband
kemathen7.........................husband
Tiffee4Bob..........................boyfriend
deadhead.............................cousin
JimRobinson...............2 nephews
TexKat.......................son, step-son
StarCMC.............................brother
Consort........................2 daughters
Consort.......................son-in-law
Darheel...............................niece
Repubmom………….son
Donaeus...........................nephew
dixie sass........................nephew
BeAllYouCanBe........................son
Repubmommy........................brother
AgThorn................................2 sons
kneezles.................................son
RoseinRoseBear.....cousin's hubby
Atomic Conspiracy......half-brother
Atomic Conspiracy...........nephew
Atomic Conspiracy..............niece
Sunflowergal....................grandson
DollyCali….AdvtTeamBud JohnM
mrstank..............................husband
MrsMike31........................husband
Rose0508.….son
spotbust1............................husband
campfollower............................fiance
LUV W........................................son
painter...................................nephew
Bykrbayb........................................son
SilentServiceCPOWife........husband
Walkenfree................2 grandsons
Walkenfree.................. 3 nephews
Walkenfree..................granddaughter
Zechariah_8_13.......brother-in-law
Zechariah_8_13.......................cousin
DirtyHarryY2K......................daughter
DirtyHarryY2K................son-in-law
nelibeli...................................nephew
Skimask.....................................son
El Gato...............................nephew
Palladin...............................grandson
MississippyMuddy...................sister
MississippyMuddy.....2 nephews
Kramster...............................stepson
gonzo.........................friend's son
Socratic.............................nephew
LoneRedRanger......brother-in-law
Jemian...................................son
freema....................nephew, son
Azbushgal..............................son
PreviouslyA-Lurker...........brother
kimmykay.................................son
right2parent..............................son
NavySEAL F-16........................son
Ike............................................son
Skyraider.......... Son
CMS............. active duty.
Jen's Mom.....................daughter
Meg33...........................grandson
911angelady.....................2 Sons
U S Army EOD.......daughter
ninergold3.……..nephew













5 posted on 02/16/2006 5:05:21 AM PST by DollyCali (Don't tell GOD how big your storm is -- Tell the storm how B-I-G your God is!)
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To: DollyCali

((HUGS))Good morning, Dolly. How's it going?


6 posted on 02/16/2006 5:09:16 AM PST by E.G.C.
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To: DollyCali; writer33
"Whittington was treated incognito"

Wait a minute. I read that he was treated in Texas. Another coverup.

7 posted on 02/16/2006 5:11:42 AM PST by Enterprise (The MSM - Propaganda wing and news censorship division of the Democrat Party.)
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To: E.G.C.

Hi there.. (You REALLY don't want to know how it is going, trust me!).......... but life is sweet & God is good so we will make it through the muddles of life!

Warm here for Ohio (50s) and a gentle rain. My pooches still will get in their big hike later after my lunch with a couple friends..

how are things for you ~~and I request an answer after dodging your querrie? ----

:-)


8 posted on 02/16/2006 5:14:40 AM PST by DollyCali (Don't tell GOD how big your storm is -- Tell the storm how B-I-G your God is!)
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To: DollyCali

Morning Dolly,

Thanks for the ping..

This whole Chaney thing has really got the MSM crowd hopeful and where there is no story they will make one up..What a bunch of morons..


9 posted on 02/16/2006 5:14:57 AM PST by Beth528
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To: Enterprise; All

Yes, just full of cover ups!

HA!

Not sure when Chris will get here as he works & has school ..but he does eventually get here & answers all pings.. Hope all enjoy his wit & take of the issue..


10 posted on 02/16/2006 5:15:53 AM PST by DollyCali (Don't tell GOD how big your storm is -- Tell the storm how B-I-G your God is!)
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To: DollyCali; writer33

Said McClellan to David Gregory: "David, you're making this all about you. If you want the camera on you, go out and shoot your own hunter. VP Cheney bagged him fair and square, so get over it."


11 posted on 02/16/2006 5:16:58 AM PST by Enterprise (The MSM - Propaganda wing and news censorship division of the Democrat Party.)
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To: Tuba Guy; Aquamarine; Billie; dutchess; Mama_Bear; The Mayor; GodBlessUSA; JustAmy; LUV W; ...
Next season's running of 24 has been canceled! JackBauer has been upstaged by a wild, Wyoming Vice president, known as Dick Dheney! Jack Bauer is an ficticious character ~ Dick Cheney is the real deal!



Prayers for all involved in terrible accident.
12 posted on 02/16/2006 5:18:19 AM PST by Issaquahking (Either you are with us, or you are with the terrorists. Choose wisely, the MSM hasn't)
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To: DollyCali
'Hope all enjoy his wit & take of the issue.."

I do. Especially when people go ballistic until someone gently, or not so gently, points out to them that it's satire.

13 posted on 02/16/2006 5:18:44 AM PST by Enterprise (The MSM - Propaganda wing and news censorship division of the Democrat Party.)
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To: Beth528
Listening to a few of "our" talk shows yesterday, it was interesting to hear their response to the media's choice of stories to cover.. the media is a sorry bunch for sure


14 posted on 02/16/2006 5:21:26 AM PST by DollyCali (Don't tell GOD how big your storm is -- Tell the storm how B-I-G your God is!)
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To: ST.LOUIE1; Aquamarine; Billie; dutchess; Mama_Bear; dansangel; deadhead; Diver Dave; GailA; ...

February 16, 2006

Be Still And Know

Read:
Psalm 46:1-11

Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth! —Psalm 46:10

Bible In One Year: Leviticus 19-20; Matthew 27:51-66

cover In February 1946, the world's first general-purpose electronic computer was introduced at the University of Pennsylvania. The Electronic Numerical Integrator and Computer (ENIAC) filled a 30-by-50-foot room, weighed 50 tons, and used enough electricity every second to power a typical home for a week. Today, a pocket calculator contains more computing power than ENIAC did.

A decade ago, one observer noted that computers and other hi-tech gadgets have "snuck up on us and we don't realize it." He went on to speak of how wonderful it is to go where there are no computers, phones, or radios, or to go to the beach and listen to the waves.

Undisturbed stillness has become more elusive and therefore more necessary than ever to seek. The Lord God said, "Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!" (Psalm 46:10).

A respite from activity allows us to focus our thoughts on the majesty of God. A quiet place helps us to listen to Him. Away from voice-mail and e-mail, we turn from our daily schedule to His eternal plan.

In our fast-paced world, we need to be still and acknowledge that God is in charge. —David McCasland

Take time to be holy,
The world rushes on;
Spend much time in secret
With Jesus alone. —Longstaff

Spending quiet time with God will bring quiet rest from God.

FOR FURTHER STUDY
How Can I Know God Through His Book?

15 posted on 02/16/2006 5:22:51 AM PST by The Mayor ( Check out my site http://www.rusthompson.com/HomeImprovementandRemodelingTips.html)
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To: DollyCali; writer33

Good Morning.

Excellent writing writer.


Excellent thread Dolly.


16 posted on 02/16/2006 5:23:25 AM PST by Mrs.Nooseman
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To: Enterprise
Well, that is why I addded "satire" in title (sorry Chris).. didn't want too many people (and esp a mod who might be inclined to pull it!) getting super upset!


17 posted on 02/16/2006 5:23:55 AM PST by DollyCali (Don't tell GOD how big your storm is -- Tell the storm how B-I-G your God is!)
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To: DollyCali; The Mayor; ST.LOUIE1; Aquamarine; dutchess; Mama_Bear; dansangel; Billie; Aeronaut; ...
Baby Blue Eyes
Good Morning to the Finest

18 posted on 02/16/2006 5:24:59 AM PST by MEG33 (GOD BLESS OUR ARMED FORCES)
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To: Issaquahking

19 posted on 02/16/2006 5:25:01 AM PST by DollyCali (Don't tell GOD how big your storm is -- Tell the storm how B-I-G your God is!)
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To: Mrs.Nooseman

Thank you ma'am! good to see you. You have to work later today? I saw a little of last night's thread. THe three gal get together sounds like fun.. (maybe have a few days for 3 & then open it up for the rest of us to join you???).. we can all bring out dogs & see how many hotels we can get thrown out of !!!


20 posted on 02/16/2006 5:26:27 AM PST by DollyCali (Don't tell GOD how big your storm is -- Tell the storm how B-I-G your God is!)
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