Posted on 01/08/2006 2:24:03 PM PST by Lorianne
It is 25 years since Terry Hekker hailed the housewife, now in a landmark decision the acclaimed author has rejected her past saying she was wrong
Terry Hekker wrote a book in 1980 that made her famous. Ever Since Adam & Eve was a passionate defence of her decision to eschew a career and spend her life as a wife and a mother.
Coming at the end of the Seventies, when feminism was enjoying a renaissance and the career woman was emerging from behind the cooker, Hekker became a celebrated poster child for more old-fashioned values. She wanted her job choice of 'homemaker' to be considered as valid as those of up-and-coming women bankers, bosses and company directors.
Today, Hekker told The Observer, she is planning a follow-up book. Its working, albeit jokey, title is bluntly honest: Disregard First Book. For her life did not turn out as she planned, and she now believes her decision to become a housewife and homemaker should serve as a warning for young American women. 'My anachronistic book was written while I was in a successful marriage that I expected would go on forever. Sadly, it now has little relevance for modern women, except perhaps as a cautionary tale,' Hekker wrote last week as she announced her U-turn.
In a display of spectacular bad taste, Hekker's husband presented her with divorce papers on their 40th wedding anniversary and left her for a younger woman. The divorce left her facing an uncertain financial future, bereft of income and - after spending her adult life bringing up five children - lacking skills to make her attractive in the job market. Despite that, the judge in her divorce case suggested that - at 67 - she go for job training.
(Excerpt) Read more at guardian.co.uk ...
Breast cancer. Bilateral mastectomies and chemo. Mother. 75, with Addison's disease, heart attack, and breast cancer. Father dead of congestive heart failure from childhood rheumatic fever. Both me and Mom under 115 pounds and Dad not overweight at all.
I was never able to have children. I will be 50 in 3 more days. I have never been married...LOL!!...a lot of men won't line up for a post-mastectomy woman! I have always taken care of myself and never filed for bankruptcy.
I was never able to have children. I will be 50 in 3 more days. I have never been married...LOL!!...a lot of men won't line up for a post-mastectomy woman! I have always taken care of myself and never filed for bankruptcy.
Both you and Diana in Wisconsin are attacking me for simply saying I can't imagine being able to retire. I did not complain.
Pls see #404 and #406.
All right, but that isn't the same thing as it being an inherent part of conservative ideology. My first thought when I read your post was that you must've been a troll.
I think you take a vocal minority a little too much to heart.
Yeah, no kidding. It's probably taken 40 years for her to turn into the crotchety bi+&* she is now.
My wife begs to differ. BTW, I had very short hair almost all my adult life, and got nowhere with women. In At the age of 34, I stopped cutting it -- I took a religious vow not to cut it til I got married -- and lo and behold, the longer it grew, the more dates I got.
liberalism on a twentysomething female looks cute. On a woman over 30, it makes her look ridiculous
No, liberalism is ugly on a woman of any age.
That's me.
I'm sure these men have no problem sleeping with women outside of marriage also.
Can't speak for anyone else but I do avoid that myself.
If that is what young men think, what young woman would want to marry them.
The young women aren't interested in marriage either.
I worry about the whole structure of our family in the future.
Don't look at me - I didn't ruin it.
(1) Conservatives, in general, tend to be nice guys.
(2) Women, in general, tend to treat nice guys like $#!% in the dating/romance/marriage/divorce realm. Conservative and "Christian" women (with a few noble exceptions) seem to be little different in this regard.
(3) As a result, conservative circles tend to have a disproportionately large number of men who have been severely wounded by women, and/or have friends who have been.
What you all mistakenly call "woman bashing" is actually the result of this. Nevertheless, I can see how the apparent blindness of these guys to this woman's plight, could be disturbing. It would disturb me, too, if I didn't know where it was coming from. Let me state, for the record, that I think this Mr. Hekker, assuming the facts are as stated in the article, should simply be shot.
However, when, as a man, one lives in a cultural climate where all men are constantly, falsely accused of being like this, and where everyone from radio ministries to family court assumes and acts as if ALL relationship issues are the fault of men, it tends to blunt one's sympathy for the situation where it's actually true. The story of the boy who cried wolf comes to mind.
If such threads actually existed, that would be a good idea.
always the newbie who starts the fracas up all over again
LOL! Maybe it's because we were at work (and unable to log in to FR, per corporate rules), when the thread was "hot" -- did you ever think of that?
Make that 3. I'll never retire. Retirement killed my Dad.
In the 'real' world, that is offline, I run into plenty of happy confident guys who are enthused about getting married and all it entails.
Online, there is sadly a culture of maladjusted misogynistic males who harbor a lot of resentment towards women.
But theyre only hurting themselves with their propaganda.
They've convinced themselves all modern American women are shrews and they end up hopelessly alone in their self fulfilling prophecy.
But hey I don't play favorites with either of the sexes........ Regarding the fairer sex in this story, I can't believe the woman's husband just up and left her for no reason.
Terry Martin Hekker's an ULTRA uber Hillary loving liberal, not conservative, so I find her claim of being traditional wifey doubtful.
She spent 6 years being the Mayor of Nyack NY and from all accounts is not the poor little starving bird she paints herself to be.
Just another libtard crybaby. Move along..........
Of course there are 4 deleted posts in the 400's, I don't know what they said, but the confident assertions that this was a woman-bashing thread, began long before that. Post 25, in fact. Can you even cite one example of woman bashing in the first 25 posts?
I'm SOOOOOOOOOOOOO gonna get flamed. But I'm right -- I did my research. There's no woman bashing anywhere on this thread!
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