Posted on 01/08/2006 2:24:03 PM PST by Lorianne
It is 25 years since Terry Hekker hailed the housewife, now in a landmark decision the acclaimed author has rejected her past saying she was wrong
Terry Hekker wrote a book in 1980 that made her famous. Ever Since Adam & Eve was a passionate defence of her decision to eschew a career and spend her life as a wife and a mother.
Coming at the end of the Seventies, when feminism was enjoying a renaissance and the career woman was emerging from behind the cooker, Hekker became a celebrated poster child for more old-fashioned values. She wanted her job choice of 'homemaker' to be considered as valid as those of up-and-coming women bankers, bosses and company directors.
Today, Hekker told The Observer, she is planning a follow-up book. Its working, albeit jokey, title is bluntly honest: Disregard First Book. For her life did not turn out as she planned, and she now believes her decision to become a housewife and homemaker should serve as a warning for young American women. 'My anachronistic book was written while I was in a successful marriage that I expected would go on forever. Sadly, it now has little relevance for modern women, except perhaps as a cautionary tale,' Hekker wrote last week as she announced her U-turn.
In a display of spectacular bad taste, Hekker's husband presented her with divorce papers on their 40th wedding anniversary and left her for a younger woman. The divorce left her facing an uncertain financial future, bereft of income and - after spending her adult life bringing up five children - lacking skills to make her attractive in the job market. Despite that, the judge in her divorce case suggested that - at 67 - she go for job training.
(Excerpt) Read more at guardian.co.uk ...
"He dumps her on their 40th anniversary for a younger woman, and most on here blame HER."
If she stays at home to care for the children, she's a leech. If she works outside the home, she's feminist b*tch looking to show up her husband instead of observing her God-ordained place as a homemaker.
Someone explain that one to me, please...
"I need a reason to get out of bed everyday -- sheesh, I don't even take vacations."
Well, enjoy your future stress-related heart attack, LOL! Oh, just kidding. I like life in the slow lane. Feel free to pass me on your way to work. :)
Sorry about your marriage. If it should say anything that's in response to my post, it's that marriages are unique and complex, and we should avoid overgeneralizing.
Stress related heart attack is fine by me. Though if I get to choose the time and place, I'd have to say at the age of 92 in the bed of a beautiful woman...
Wait! Scratch that! Revise to: Age 94 and two beautiful women.
Relationships are very risky. The woman takes risks when she decides to raise the kids and the man takes risks that he might lose his job.
What was said in that post that changed the nature of it was his concept of a "contitbuting member of society" being a woman who has a job. I think what he meant was a contributor to my pocketbook and the truth is, you can focus on the pocketbook or you can focus on the kids. Feminists lied when they said we could do it all and must do it all if we are to be "contributing to society." This guy is married to a woman who wants to raise her kids and I think he probably disrespects that about her.
"This guy is married to a woman who wants to raise her kids and I think he probably disrespects that about her."
You may be right; I'm probably terribly naive, but don't couples TALK about things like kids/no kids, how to handle raising them, etc.? Or was that just me and my husband?
The truth is, it really wasn't the feminists who pushed women into the workforce. It was economics. But the greater truth is, women have always worked -- except for that brief period after WWII until the early 1970s. During WWII they worked in factories and before that a large portion of them lived in rural environments where they were busy working either feeding something or killing something.
Mine didn't make me a man hater, either. I also have a wonderful marriage now.
If more people learned from their mistakes, maybe we wouldn't be having this conversatin........
Yes, they agree and then at some point, one starts to resent the other...then it's "oh if you worked, we would have enough money for this and that..." Likewise, it can be, "oh, if you earned more money and weren't such a loser, we could do this and that."
Also, there is a mindset that people are what they do and they are therefore measured by how much they earn and how important their societal title is. Suddenly the housewife is lowly indeed. Can't earn any less than that. Read this thread. Some men (and sadly women, too) see housewives as disposable house pets they don't want anymore and as leeches. It is quickly forgotten about the raising the kids thingy.
I had a horrible first marriage and expensive painful divorce. I don't hate women. I just don't trust my judgement of them.
I don't have to work, I want to!!!!
I'll work as long as i'm phywically able which I hope is at leasr until i'm 80, I do construction work.
**But the greater truth is, women have always worked -- except for that brief period after WWII until the early 1970s. During WWII they worked in factories and before that a large portion of them lived in rural environments where they were busy working either feeding something or killing something.**
And women continue to work whether in the workforce or the family/community. And I don't agree that it was economics that gives so many women no choice in raising their kids for the need of two incomes. I think it is the heavy tax burden and reverse discrimination femenazis imposed on society. There are not more women in colleges than men by accident.
I think now that I know why he dumped the wench.
Ya can't say that about Huffington..She was the model wife to a closet Fag.
Well, that's a relief! I thought something tragic had happened to you.
Well, that's two men so far on this thread that want to work until they die. ;)
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