Posted on 01/08/2006 2:24:03 PM PST by Lorianne
It is 25 years since Terry Hekker hailed the housewife, now in a landmark decision the acclaimed author has rejected her past saying she was wrong
Terry Hekker wrote a book in 1980 that made her famous. Ever Since Adam & Eve was a passionate defence of her decision to eschew a career and spend her life as a wife and a mother.
Coming at the end of the Seventies, when feminism was enjoying a renaissance and the career woman was emerging from behind the cooker, Hekker became a celebrated poster child for more old-fashioned values. She wanted her job choice of 'homemaker' to be considered as valid as those of up-and-coming women bankers, bosses and company directors.
Today, Hekker told The Observer, she is planning a follow-up book. Its working, albeit jokey, title is bluntly honest: Disregard First Book. For her life did not turn out as she planned, and she now believes her decision to become a housewife and homemaker should serve as a warning for young American women. 'My anachronistic book was written while I was in a successful marriage that I expected would go on forever. Sadly, it now has little relevance for modern women, except perhaps as a cautionary tale,' Hekker wrote last week as she announced her U-turn.
In a display of spectacular bad taste, Hekker's husband presented her with divorce papers on their 40th wedding anniversary and left her for a younger woman. The divorce left her facing an uncertain financial future, bereft of income and - after spending her adult life bringing up five children - lacking skills to make her attractive in the job market. Despite that, the judge in her divorce case suggested that - at 67 - she go for job training.
(Excerpt) Read more at guardian.co.uk ...
And now that some of them find themselves in the same sort of disadvantageous situation that some women have experienced throughout the ages, they whine like little babies, many of them never acknowledging, that women do and have suffered like them. That's what irks me.
People choose to be happy.
Excellent post, Nea!
Absolutely agreed.
Well, said.
Once just after highschool, my father was discussing feminism and how damaging it was. I bascially agreed with him. He couldn't understand why it started to begin with. I told him that if all men were like him, the women who started it would not have seen a need for it, but unfortunately not all men were like him. That statement is truer today than it was then.
Sad....
BRAVO!
Great post.
Well, lol, not quite THAT traditional.
Interesting post.
My wife and I married and neither of us were political in the least. And then Clinton gets elected and we find out that both of us are conservative and hate liberals to the core.
What a pleasant surprise it was to find out that we were such kindred spirits. Actually, I didn't really think of it that way. I wasn't surprised at all. In fact, I took it for granted that two people who loved and respected each other enough to commit to live the rest of their lives together would naturally share the same core values.
Your post reminded me that this is not always the case. I must be extraordinarily lucky or have extraordinarily good taste in women.
Actually, I think its probably a little of both.
I am very lucky to have my wife.
That's the first I've heard of such a thing being part of "conservative ideology."
I don't think I'm wrong about that."
You're NOT wrong about it. It's something I noticed way back. Quite stunning, actually and very disturbing.
I disagree. Happiness is not always a choice. But attitudes are.
Nothing to be surprised about. I assume FR has significantly more male than female posters. If that's correct, then assuming both sexes have an equal percentage of the bitter types, naturally there will be more 'woman hating' going on. I don't think it says a thing about Conservatism.
Nope. I sympathize greatly with the lady.
Two points:
We are given only one side of the story in this case. There may not be much of a case on the other side, but we don't know that.
I was attempting to point out that the destruction of a marriage is not invariably the husband's fault or desire. However, this is rarely portrayed in the populat media.
The normal portrayal is as follows. If HE initiates the divorce, it's because he's a jerk dumping her for a newer model. If SHE initiates the divorce, it's because he drove her to it.
You're right. It was better when it was just a man bashing thread.
I happen to dislike either type.
Look,
Wimmen R'Evil is to be expected on just about ANY thread on FR. A thread like this will bring it out in abundance....why? Because some guys really, truly hate or at least, fear wimmen. At least ones not made out of latex.
Like watching sharks go after a wounded seal. Heck, I've seen guys laughing there butts off at a woman who was burned to death by her husband. Not pretty, not pretty at all.
IMHO, what I've seen more than once is that younger wife suddenly discovers that new hubby acts too much like a father, hates her music, won't go out to her favorite haunts and he's dud in bed without lots of 'help'.
Old wife can move on, but I do hope that old hubby's live is true Kharmic payback. Like he finds himself married to Barbie without the brains ;)
You know those IBTZ posts?
There needs to be an IBWRE post .... Sadly, I missed it this time. :(
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