Posted on 10/17/2005 7:21:55 AM PDT by Millee
Brother Kenneth Hoagland had heard all the stories about prom-night debauchery at his Long Island high school: students putting down $10,000 to rent a party house in the Hamptons; pre-prom cocktail parties followed by a trip to the dance in a liquor-loaded limo; fathers chartering a boat for their children's late-night "booze cruise."
Enough was enough, Hoagland said. So the principal of Kellenberg Memorial High School canceled the spring prom in a 2,000- word letter to parents.
"It is not primarily the sex/booze/drugs that surround this event, as problematic as they might be; it is, rather, the flaunting of affluence, assuming exaggerated expenses, a pursuit of vanity for vanity's sake - in a word, financial decadence," Hoagland said, fed up with what he called the "bacchanalian aspects."
"Each year, it gets worse - becomes more exaggerated, more expensive, more emotionally traumatic," he added. "We are withdrawing from the battle and allowing the parents full responsibility. (The school) is willing to sponsor a prom but not an orgy."
The move brought a mixed, albeit passionate, reaction from students and parents at the Roman Catholic school, which is owned by the Society of Mary (Marianists), a religious order of priests and brothers.
"I don't think it's fair, obviously, that they canceled prom," said senior Alyssa Johnson of Westbury. "There are problems with the prom, but I don't think their reasons or the actions they took solved anything."
Hoagland began talking about the future of the prom last spring after 46 Kellenberg seniors made a $10,000 down payment on a $20,000 rental in the Hamptons for a post-prom party. When school officials found out, they forced the students to cancel the deal; the kids got their money back, and the prom went on as planned. But some parents went ahead and rented a Hamptons house anyway, Hoagland said.
Amy Best, an associate professor of sociology and anthropology at George Mason University in Virginia and the author of "Prom Night: Youth, Schools and Popular Culture," said this is the first time she has heard of a school canceling the prom for such reasons.
"A lot of people have lamented the growing consumption that surrounds the prom," she said, noting it is not uncommon for students to pay $1,000 on the dance and surrounding costs: expensive dresses, tuxedo rentals, flowers, limousines, pre- and post-prom parties.
Edward Lawson, the father of a Kellenberg senior, said he and other parents are discussing whether to organize a prom without the sponsorship of the 2,500- student school.
"I don't think they have a right to judge what goes on after the prom," he said. "They put everybody in the category of drinkers and drug addicts."
Some parents picking up their children on a recent afternoon said they support Hoagland.
"The school has excellent values," said Margaret Cameron of Plainview, N.Y. "We send our children here because we support the values and the administration of the school, and I totally back everything they do."
That is a very very sad statement.
My daughter passed up several invitations to drinking parties after prom. She and about 9 friends (several from our Parish) went to her father's house and watched movies. Her stepmother chaperoned. The worst thing they did was throw popcorn at each other. Sometimes I forget how incredibly blessed I am with her.
I love your response!
you are blessed because of the good work you put into raising her : )
You and me both.
I didn't hit my stride with girls till around 19
My first galpal was at college at age 19, also. Maybe what some would call a late bloomer.
And for what its worth, I didn't have sex as a young teen only partly because it was against my moral upbringing, but mostly because I didn't have the opportunity. If I had the opportunity, I would have gone in headfirst! ;-)
A wealthy person who buys a Lear jet, or a luxury yacht, is fine by me. I would do the same in a heartbeat if I had the money. But I would enjoy them for their own sakes, not for getting my jollies as ways of showing others how much more money I have than they do. It seems to me that these parents are teaching their kids to engage in the latter.
Too many conservatives make the mistake of confusing greed with desire. You talk about class envy. Greed is provoked by class envy. Greed is ugly, bad, and counter-productive because greed entails hoarding and walking over others, of always striving to have more as compared to what others have.
Desire is an incentive to be productive independent of comparisons to what others have. I desire a Lear jet because I love to fly. The greedy person desires a Lear jet because it's his way of showing the guy with a mere Cessna that he has more money.
Greed is a failing, built on envy. Desire is a motivation to become better, built on dreams.
Ain't that the truth. You hear about the "Cool Mom" case in Colorado?
I also recommend all Freepers, but especially the "OMG ANTI-CAPITALIST!" folks to read the principal's letter at the school's website, especially the first.
He does appear to be a solid person with good insights and reasonable reasons. The reasoning in his letter was different than the quotes or summary I had read. He did call it like he saw it and give the parents something to think about.
I admire his courage and conviction.
However, actually sending the letter as opposed to tearing it up (I have written letters to get something off my chest, but usually torn them up prior to sending) was foolish.
Personally, I will much better accept foolishness, when delivered from the heart that stupidity. He deserves the support of his community.
It SHOULD be the sex/booze/drugs you moron.
Send them all to Aruba for all I care.
Bttt.
Yes, I, too, have encountered such people. And these are parents of kids at the local Catholic high school. Not quite the level of wealth, but similar levels of decadence. These people may call themselves Catholic but the are CINO's and shirking parental responsibilities. And at the public school, same thing, shirking parenting to be popular. It's not all the kids, but the enrollment is smaller than when I was in HS and the percentages of those involved are larger.
Wow, I can't believe things have changed that much since I left Catholic school. I'm inclined to believe this is the exception and not the rule. The fact that the school canceled the prom speaks well of the values they espoused.
I don't know about that. This has apparently been a problem for some time among affluent students at private schools on Long Island.
Hmmm, well, I guess I was lucky. :-)
I guess I just wasn't affluent. LOL.
Thank you for this.
"Some of these schools just ain't what they used to be."
Sad, but true.
That is why this school, principal and staff should be supported and commended.
>That is why this school, principal and staff should be supported and commended.<
They should be commended for this baby step but they still need to answer for why a school affiliated with the church allows its student body to participate in drinking parties at any point in the year.If you are going to call yourself a Parochial School or a Christian School you should require students and parents to adhere to righteous living as it applies to the students.
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