Posted on 10/17/2005 7:21:55 AM PDT by Millee
Brother Kenneth Hoagland had heard all the stories about prom-night debauchery at his Long Island high school: students putting down $10,000 to rent a party house in the Hamptons; pre-prom cocktail parties followed by a trip to the dance in a liquor-loaded limo; fathers chartering a boat for their children's late-night "booze cruise."
Enough was enough, Hoagland said. So the principal of Kellenberg Memorial High School canceled the spring prom in a 2,000- word letter to parents.
"It is not primarily the sex/booze/drugs that surround this event, as problematic as they might be; it is, rather, the flaunting of affluence, assuming exaggerated expenses, a pursuit of vanity for vanity's sake - in a word, financial decadence," Hoagland said, fed up with what he called the "bacchanalian aspects."
"Each year, it gets worse - becomes more exaggerated, more expensive, more emotionally traumatic," he added. "We are withdrawing from the battle and allowing the parents full responsibility. (The school) is willing to sponsor a prom but not an orgy."
The move brought a mixed, albeit passionate, reaction from students and parents at the Roman Catholic school, which is owned by the Society of Mary (Marianists), a religious order of priests and brothers.
"I don't think it's fair, obviously, that they canceled prom," said senior Alyssa Johnson of Westbury. "There are problems with the prom, but I don't think their reasons or the actions they took solved anything."
Hoagland began talking about the future of the prom last spring after 46 Kellenberg seniors made a $10,000 down payment on a $20,000 rental in the Hamptons for a post-prom party. When school officials found out, they forced the students to cancel the deal; the kids got their money back, and the prom went on as planned. But some parents went ahead and rented a Hamptons house anyway, Hoagland said.
Amy Best, an associate professor of sociology and anthropology at George Mason University in Virginia and the author of "Prom Night: Youth, Schools and Popular Culture," said this is the first time she has heard of a school canceling the prom for such reasons.
"A lot of people have lamented the growing consumption that surrounds the prom," she said, noting it is not uncommon for students to pay $1,000 on the dance and surrounding costs: expensive dresses, tuxedo rentals, flowers, limousines, pre- and post-prom parties.
Edward Lawson, the father of a Kellenberg senior, said he and other parents are discussing whether to organize a prom without the sponsorship of the 2,500- student school.
"I don't think they have a right to judge what goes on after the prom," he said. "They put everybody in the category of drinkers and drug addicts."
Some parents picking up their children on a recent afternoon said they support Hoagland.
"The school has excellent values," said Margaret Cameron of Plainview, N.Y. "We send our children here because we support the values and the administration of the school, and I totally back everything they do."
She doesn't "understand" that while the school cannot stop her and her parents from sinning, it CAN show it's disapproval of their actions.
Doesn't sound like the kids were even expelled. They were still "accepted".
LI was once GOP territory but now I think most of it has gone Demo. Gee what a surprise.
So even if there is no prom, does this stop the disgusting permissive parents from renting a house or boat and buying the kids booze anyway??
"I remember the junior-senior prom from back in the 60's."
Yeah, so do I. I graduated in 1963 from a small high school in California.
Junior Year
My girlfriend made her dress.
I wore my only suit.
Before the prom we went with four other couples to a small Chinese restaurant and ordered everything on the menu.
Went home and changed.
Picked up girlfriend in parents' car and gave her $10 corsage. Both sets of parents took photographs.
Danced at prom until it ended.
Took girlfriend home.
Senior Year
Same exact thing, same girlfriend. This time, though, we went to a nice restaurant with my sister and her date before the dance. Everything else was the same.
I think the total cost was under $100, including the homemade dress.
Guess what? We had a great time. I still have some of the photos. My girlfriend sure was pretty.
Socialism, the future of America if the RATS take over.
"Admittingly, I could be WAY off on this one..."
I don't think you are, and you made some good points...
"ComPROMise: Let all the kids who do not attend the pre-prom parties attend the school prom. Let the others hold their own."
Actually, the school has tried many things...from extending the prom to 6a.m., hosting it the night before graduation, and even auctioning off a new car, (winner needed to be present at the 6a.m. drawing). Parents have actually tried to sue the school when their prom darlings got into trouble POST prom.
This was NOT a hasty decision....it's a problem the school has tried to address through the years.
I know this is going to come as a shock to you but it is a Catholic school. A school I presume that should be teaching certain Christian morals. One of which is stewardship of money. I'm not exactly sure I see how spending $20,000 for a 2 day rental is the wisest way one could spend their money or that it teaches stewardship of one's money.
Well said. This school is (or at least should be) preaching modesty as a virtue. If they don't want to be associated with Roman-style decadence, more power to them.
I've encountered such people.
Their reasoning:
Kids are just going to have sex on prom night anyway.
Kids are just going to drink on prom night anyway.
Kids are just going to experiment with drugs on prom night anyway.
Kids are just going to go wild on prom night anyway.
Therefore, if we rent them a beach house in the Hamptons, they can drink and have sex and take drugs in one place. We know where they are, they won't have to drive anyplace, they won't be wandering around in any bad neighborhoods and if they get really out of hand, we know a guy who is close with the local police chief.
This, sadly, represents the quality of much parenting nowadays.
indeed...
i'm not sure that spending a lot of m oney to celebrate your kid's senior year is de-facto wrong. If a parent wants to charter a boat for his kid and friends to pal around in, isn't it their business?
If the parent allows underage drinking, illegal drugs, and sexcual contact, then that is another matter entirely. It would also seem to me that much of the problem is also law enforcement.
that said, I beleive the cancellation and refusal to endorse wrong behavior is a sound one.
If they have all this money to spend on party houses, I would think they have plenty to rent a venue to hold a "prom".
OF course that would be a
P artying
R omp
O f
M ischief
She was one of eleven that were conceived that night; the only one who "made it" full-term. My brother and his wife got married the day the rabbit died.
"Socialism, the future of America if the RATS take over."
He's not saying they can't make money or spend money; he's just saying his school is not going to be a part of spending it that way. You know, freedom. You can do that, but I ain't gonna.
I think the principle has over reacted.He could have simply moved the Prom to the High School gym.Limited the budget to the point the juniors would have had to do their on decorations and parent volunteers would have to handle refreshments.To top it off make the drop off area for limos a mile away at the kroger with a shuttle on the yellow school bus.
if it IS a catholic school in more than name only, wouldn't it be more concerned with the moral issues and the law violations than in what one does with one's own money?
What I mean is that we're not necessarily in disagreement here, I only question his priorities. the sex/booze/drugs, etc. was OK until the advertising of wealth came into the pic.
See post #45
As a parent, I find the whole thing to be disgusting. The Principal who made the statement about the financial decadennce was a fool.
But then again, if we look at East Coast attitudes toward Ted Kennedy and other rulling elites that keep their wealth and "above the law" status quiet, I can see where this prinicpal may be coming from.
As a parent, I find the whole thing to be disgusting. The Principal who made the statement about the financial decadennce was a fool.
But then again, if we look at East Coast attitudes toward Ted Kennedy and other rulling elites that keep their wealth and "above the law" status quiet, I can see where this prinicpal may be coming from.
Yes, absolutely. Good for him. Let the little effers eff on the their own time.
As Rush is wont to say, "Words MEAN things".
However, in today's mixed up world, we can be happy to get half a loaf from school administrators. In this case, I wouldn't choose to be hard on this school head because I'm absolutely certain that if he was re-interviewed, he'd hasten to say that all the above reasons are on an equal plane.
All media quotes are not necessarily accurate.....and context is everything.
Leni
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