Posted on 09/17/2005 6:59:48 AM PDT by teldon30
Dear Amy: I'd like to be in a relationship again, but I never even get asked out (unless you count frisky 85-year-olds and drunks at the corner bar). I'm a 32-year-old woman who's happy, sociable, and attractive. (I paid for college by modeling and continue to take care of myself.) I'm second-in-command at a big company, financially secure, and own a beautiful home. How can I meet men in general, and more specifically, men I'd actually want to date?
Deluxe Chopped Liver
Dear Deluxe: To scare away vampires, it takes garlic and crosses, which make ugly bulges in sleek, satin evening bags. Luckily, all you have to do to scare away men is pull out a business card that says ''senior vice president.''
''Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac,'' said Henry Kissinger. Sure it is — unless you're a woman. Research by Stephanie L. Brown and Brian P. Lewis, published in Evolution and Human Behavior (Nov. '04), seems to confirm what many lonely women at the top already know: When guys go for the woman in the boardroom, it isn't the woman running the meeting but the secretary who wheeled in the coffee and croissants before it started.
Sure, plenty of men will scamper up the corporate ladder for a one-night stand. But, according to Brown and Lewis' study, men looking for dates or relationships tend to prefer their subordinates to their colleagues or bosses. The researchers hypothesize that men evolved to want women they can control as a means of guarding against ''parental uncertainty'' — unwittingly raising kids fathered by the Neanderthal next door as their own. Brown and Lewis think this may also explain why men are suckers for ''behavioral expressions of vulnerability'' — women who act like they might not be able to make it across the street
(Excerpt) Read more at mcall.com ...
Just being out in the world. I have a friend in America who called off an engagement for similar reasons - we call it the "Princess Syndrome". There are a number of women out there who believe that marriage is servitude...for men. And also, they believe that it is the man's duty to make everything perfect forever...if not, the bloke's got to go.
If I was an adherent of Buddhism, I'd be considering life in a monastery in Tibet at the moment.
Regards, Ivan
What!?
Let me provide you with a clue....women like to be pursued and courted
Indeed. Part of why I said, "Nein, danke."
Regards, Ivan
I disagree. I think they can be intimidated asking a woman with more preceived power than they have out. Many men love dominant women. It's up to her to make the first move.
I know the feeling........but don't give up!
I certainly don't feel this way and I am sure most Freeperetts don't either
Have you tried looking in church?
It's pretty simple. Men -- well, straight men, anyway -- no matter how much they deny it, are deep-down looking for a woman who shows promise of being good wife and mother material, and Ms Senior Vice-President is probably not likely to be one who wants to stay home and take care of the kids.
Most men already have an adequate supply of bosses and competitors. They don't want to take another one home and have to live with her 24x7.
There are millions of arrogant hookers like this in the United States, they've just changed the form of payment. This type usually offers up a sexual performance worthy of a cereal box ring.
Thanks, I'll check it out, can't hurt
For every one man that "scampers up" there have been at least ten-thousand women that have gone before him. This has always been a way for women to advance in a company. Screwing your way to the top has always been associated with women.
This whiner probably won't mention that she is a fem-nazi, control freak and total bitch. Men just don't have relationships with such women. Except for one night stands.
"Let me provide you with a clue....women like to be persued and courted."
True, but if men aren't knocking on your door, a woman has to change her tactics. I knew two guys in high school who were cute as hell, but I just remained friends with them because I thought that's all they wanted. Come to find out....years later, that they both had wished they would have persued me and courted me. I'm happily married now, but I wonder if things would have been different had I gotten up the nerve to ask them out.
Women only "marry up." When you're already near the top, there are fewer pickings.
Exactly, a mans going to think,"why does a woman like that even need a man"?
You don't need to give me a clue about women. I think I have a handle on that score. Most women have no clue about men however. Men also like to be pursued as well and there is no reason why a woman shouldn't do the pursuing.
There's the first problem - stay out of the corner bar if you don't like the clientele.
I live in Britain. Not to put too fine a point on it, but most of the women who go to church regularly here are elderly to the point that having extra sugar in the tea is considered by them to be risque.
Secondly, I'm a Goth. Somehow I doubt the ladies in Church want to date someone who keeps the darkness close by. ;)
Regards, Ivan
An honest woman who wants to bargain! OK, I would reply that I want GOOD home-cooked meals at least five days a week, a clean house, and to be treated like a GI in Bangkok at least four times a week.
I totally agree apackof2--if a man doesn't have the strength to lead into a conversation to ask you out, how is he going to have the strength to lead a marriage?
I can identify with this conundrum-I'm an attorney, drive a cute little BMW and when guys find out they totally shut me out. The Bimmer is the only thing I have in the world that's a sign of wealth- it's my dream car and it's not new.
Excellent post!
Well she was honest to the point of telling me that she didn't want to do any of that sort of thing. And I hadn't even asked her to.
Regards, Ivan
Exactly. And men like being pursued.
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