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Steve Vincent's Wife Responds to "Professor" Juan Cole
Murdoc Online ^ | Lisa Ramaci-Vincent

Posted on 08/22/2005 8:04:04 PM PDT by Mr.Clark

I thought you might like to see the email I sent Juan Cole in response to his August 8th post about my husband. Sorry if it runs a little long -

"Was American journalist Steve Vincent killed in Basra as part of an honor killing? He was romantically involved with his Iraqi interpreter, who was shot 4 times. If her clan thought she was shaming them by appearing to be having an affair outside wedlock with an American male, they might well have decided to end it. In Mediterranean culture, a man's honor tends to be wrought up with his ability to protect his womenfolk from seduction by strange men. Where a woman of the family sleeps around, it brings enormous shame on her father, brothers and cousins, and it is not unknown for them to kill her. These sentiments and this sort of behavior tend to be rural and to hold among the uneducated, but are not unknown in urban areas. Vincent did not know anything serious about Middle Eastern culture and was aggressive about criticizing what he could see of it on the surface, and if he was behaving in the way the Telegraph article describes, he was acting in an extremely dangerous manner."

Mr. Cole - (I refuse to call you professor, because that would ennoble you. And please change the name of your blog to "Uninformed Comment", because that is precisely what the above paragraph is.)

I would like to refute this shameful post against a dead man who can no longer defend himself against your scurrilous accusations, a dead man who also happened to be my husband. Steven Vincent and I were together for 23 years, married for 13 of them, and I think I know him a wee bit better than you do.

For starters, Steven and Nour were not "romantically involved". If you knew anything at all about the Middle East, as you seem to think you do, then you would know that there is no physical way that he and she could have ever been alone together. Nour (who always made sure to get home before dark, so they were never together at night) could not go to his room; he could not go to her house; there was no hot-sheet motel for them to go to for a couple of hours. They met in public, they went about together in public, they parted in public. They were never alone. She would not let him touch her arm, pay her a compliment, buy her a banana on the street, hyper-aware of how such gestures might be interpreted by the misogynistic cretins who surrounded her daily. So for you brazenly claim that she was "sleeping around," when there is no earthly way you could possibly know that, suggests to me that you are quite the misogynist as well. Cheap shot, Mr. Cole, against a remarkable woman who does not in any wise deserve it.

This is not to say that Steven did not love Nour - he did. And he was quite upfront about it to me. But it was not sexual love - he loved her for her courage, her bravery, her indomitable spirit in the face of the Muslim thugs who have oppressed their women for years. To him she represented a free and democratic Iraq, and all of the hopes he had for that still-elusive creature. And he loved her for the help she gave him - endangering herself by affiliating with him because she wanted the truth to come out about what was happening in her native city of Basra and the surrounding area. Perhaps you are unaware of the fact that it is possible to love someone in a strictly platonic way, but I assure you, it can happen - even between men and women.

And yes, he was planning to to convert to Islam and marry Nour, but only to take her out of the country to England, where she had a standing job offer, set her up with the friends she had over there, divorce her, and come back to New York. He had gotten her family's permission to do so (thereby debunking the "honor killing" theory), but more importantly, he had gotten mine. He called one night to say that it had been intimated to him that Nour's life was essentially going to be worthless after he left; since he was an honorable man (a breed you might want to familiarize yourself with), he then asked what I thought he might do to help her. I told him to get her out of the country and bring her here to New York. However, the only way she could have left Iraq was with a family member or husband. Since her family had no intention of going anywhere, Steven was her only recourse, and it would have been perfectly legal for him to convert, marry her, then take her out of Iraq to give her a chance at a real life. (Now that that avenue is closed to her, I have made inquiries to the State Department about the possibility of my sponsoring her in America. Do you perhaps labor under the misapprehension I am such a spineless cuckold that I would put myself out thusly for the woman you believe my husband was traducing me with? If so, I'm guessing you don't know much about the Sicilian female temperament.)

As to your claim that "In Mediterranean culture, a man's honor tends to be wrought up with his ability to protect his womenfolk from seduction by strange men", it may perhaps have escaped your notice that Iraq does not abut, in any way, shape or form, the Mediterranean Sea. Italy is a Mediterranean culture, as are Spain, Greece, Southern France. In none of them is "honor killing" an accepted form of "protecting womanhood". As to the southerly lands like Morocco and Algeria, they are not, in the general scheme of things, considered Mediterranean cultures - they are considered Arabic, a whole different beast. For you to seemingly be unaware of this, and then to say that my husband "did not know anything serious about Middle Eastern culture" again begs the question, just where do you get off? If you cannot differentiate between Mediterranean and Middle Eastern cultures, how is it you feel qualified to pontificate so pompously?

How often have you been to the Middle East, Mr. Cole? In 2000 Steven and I spent almost a month in Iran on vacation. In 2003 we spent 10 days over Christmas in Jordan. In the last 2 years he had made not one, not two, but three trips to Iraq, and at the time of his death had about 7 months of daily living there under his belt. Can you offer comparables?

How much Arabic do you speak, Mr. Cole? Steven had been learning Arabic for the last two years, and was able to converse simply but effectively with the people he came into contact with. He had many expatriate friends in the Muslim world from whom he was always learning. As I sit here writing this at what was his desk, I can look at the literally dozens of books he devoured about Islam and the Middle East - each one thick with Post-It notes and personal observations he made in the pages - as he sought to comprehend and absorb the complexities of the culture and the religion he felt, and cared, so deeply about. If you would like a list of them, please email me back and I will be happy to send you a comprehensive accounting.

Yes, Steven was aggressive in criticizing what he saw around him and did not like. It's called courage, and it happens to be a tradition in the history of this country. Without this tradition there would have been no Revolutionary War, no Civil War, no civil rights movement, no a lot of things that America can be proud of. He had made many friends in Iraq, and was afraid for them if the religious fundamentalists were given the country to run under shari'a. You may dismiss that as naive, simplistic, foolish, but I say to you, as you sit safely in your ivory tower in Michigan with nothing threatening your comfy, tenured existence, that you should be ashamed at the depths to which you have sunk by libeling Steven and Nour. They were on the front lines, risking all, in an attempt to call attention to the growing storm threatening to overwhelm a fragile and fledgling experiment in democracy, trying to get the world to see that all was not right in Iraq. And for their efforts, Steven is dead and Nour is recuperating with three bullet wound in her back. Yes, that's right - the "honorable" men who abducted them, after binding them, holding them captive and beating them, set them free, told them to run - and then shot them both in the back. I've seen the autopsy report.

You did not know him - you did not have that honor, and you will never have the chance, thanks to the murderous goons for whom you have appointed yourself an apologist. He was a brilliant, erudite, witty, charming, kind, generous, silly, funny, decent, honorable and complex man, who loved a good cigar, Bombay Sapphire gin martinis, Marvel Silver Age comic books, Frank Sinatra, opera and grossing me out with bathroom humor. And if he was acting in a dangerous manner, he had a very good excuse - he was utterly exhausted. He had been in Basra for 3 months under incredibly stressful conditions, working every day, and towards the end enduring heat of 135 degrees, often without air conditioning, which could not have helped his mental condition or judgment. He was yearning to come home, as his emails to me made crystal clear. But on August 2nd, two days before my birthday, he made the fatal mistake of walking one block - one - from his hotel to the money exchange, rather than take a cab, and now will never come back to me. I got a bouquet of flowers from him on August 4th, which he had ordered before he died, and the card said he was sorry to miss my birthday, but the flowers would stand in his stead until he made it home. They are drying now in the kitchen, the final gift from my soulmate.

I did not see your blog until tonight. I was busy doing other things - fighting the government to get Steven's body returned from Basra days after I was told he would be sent home, planning the funeral, buying a cemetery plot, choosing the clothes to bury him in, writing the prayer card, fending off the media, dealing with his aging parents, waking and then burying him - but I could not let the calumnies you posted so freely against two total strangers go unchallenged.

You strike me as a typical professor - self-opinionated, arrogant, so sure of the rightness of your position that you won't even begin to consider someone else's. I would suggest that you ought to be ashamed of yourself for your breathtaking presumption in eviscerating Steven in death and disparaging Nour in life, but, like any typical professor, I have no doubt that you are utterly shameless.

Sincerely,

Lisa Ramaci-Vincent


TOPICS: News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: iraq; stevenvincent
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Cole is scum.
1 posted on 08/22/2005 8:04:05 PM PDT by Mr.Clark
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To: Mr.Clark

Bump


2 posted on 08/22/2005 8:16:53 PM PDT by Balding_Eagle (God has blessed Republicans with really stupid enemies.)
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To: Mr.Clark

Bump.


3 posted on 08/22/2005 8:17:43 PM PDT by Mr.Clark (From the darkness....I shall come)
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To: Mr.Clark

My deepest condolences to you, ma'am. I read a comment by Mr. Cole recently in which he declared that the war on terror was over, as it was nothing more than 4 more men hiding in a room (referring to the 4 captured London bombers).

I am a student at the Univ. of Pennsylvania, and I sent Mr. Cole a polite but firm e-mail refuting his statement. Instead of defending his words, he brushed me off and told me that he was merely using sarcasm, something that "perhaps" I had not learned about at Penn yet.

Mr. Cole was an asshole to me, so I responded in kind: No, I hadn't learned about sarcasm in college yet, I wrote, because Ivy Leaguers were expected to have learned this at an earlier age. This was, on my part, an immature insult against Mr. Cole, who has attended a number of fine universities, although none are among the Ivy League. Nevertheless, his reponse was snotty and arrogant, and provided no signs that he deserved a PhD, a position as president of a "middle east studies institute," or a taxpayer-funded professorship at Univ. of Michigan.


4 posted on 08/22/2005 8:17:52 PM PDT by sdk7x7 ("This time I think the Americans are serious. Bush is not like Clinton. I think this is the end.")
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To: Mr.Clark

You know, after reading this I am more apt to beleive that this guy was smoothe than anything else.

He has his wife still shilling for him over his love for another woman he intended to marry in order to 'save.'

There is no woman I have ever been involved with, ever, who would go along with that, let alone shill for me over it after I have entered the great beyond.

I call em like I see em.


5 posted on 08/22/2005 8:20:29 PM PDT by HitmanLV
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To: Mr.Clark

"gestures might be interpreted by the misogynistic cretins who surrounded her daily."

I have never heard the word 'misgynistic' before today. On FR, this word was used twice today. Not only is FR a great read, you can expand your vocabulary. ;)


6 posted on 08/22/2005 8:25:09 PM PDT by imskylark
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To: Mr.Clark
Do you perhaps labor under the misapprehension I am such a spineless cuckold that I would put myself out thusly for the woman you believe my husband was traducing me with? If so, I'm guessing you don't know much about the Sicilian female temperament.)

I would think that after receiving Senora  Ramaci-Vincent's ballistic missive, little boy Cole has learned a great deal about the Sicilian female temperment.

(And, btw, so did I.)

7 posted on 08/22/2005 8:26:00 PM PDT by Racehorse (Where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.)
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To: Mr.Clark
and Chillary believed x42i was only "counseling" interns.
8 posted on 08/22/2005 8:28:13 PM PDT by stylin19a (In golf, some are long, I'm "Lama Long")
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To: Mr.Clark

You go girl!!!!
Seriously, I can't think of a time when I have read a more eloquent or well-deserved "put down." It is just tragic that you - at this most awful time in your live (I too am a widow) - had to deal with such a pour excuse for pond-scum. God has a special place reserved for a$$h___s such as Cole.


9 posted on 08/22/2005 8:28:41 PM PDT by Virginia Queen (Virginia Queen)
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To: Mr.Clark
Cole is an embarrassment to the University of Michigan. He teaches nothing of substance--a few bizarre upper level classes. His CV is joke. All he has is some sensationalistic blog. The University needs to find a real professor. This guy has serious problems.
10 posted on 08/22/2005 8:33:35 PM PDT by ridge
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To: Mr.Clark

Cole is the worst kind of human being.


11 posted on 08/22/2005 8:33:43 PM PDT by denydenydeny ("As a Muslim of course I am a terrorist"--Sheikh Omar Brooks, quoted in the London Times 8/7/05)
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To: Mr.Clark

Cole is a joke. I don't know anyone who actually respects his opinion (except for the terribly young and weak minded).


12 posted on 08/22/2005 8:35:24 PM PDT by McGavin999 ("You must call evil by it's name" GW Bush ......... It's name is Terror)
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To: Mr.Clark
I hope this lady of courage and eloquence reads this thread. If so, I have two comments for her: Thank you for your powerful statement to dispel the dishonesties about Steven and Noor. And, thank you for sharing your husband with us, and with the world. We are all the better for his life and work.

John / Billybob
13 posted on 08/22/2005 8:40:43 PM PDT by Congressman Billybob (I'm on the road, now. Contact me at John_Armor@aya.edu.net.)
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To: HitmanNY
I call em like I see em.

Apparently you don't see too well, having completely missed her third paragraph.

News flash: Everyone isn't as petty and small-minded as you are.

14 posted on 08/22/2005 8:43:16 PM PDT by denydenydeny ("As a Muslim of course I am a terrorist"--Sheikh Omar Brooks, quoted in the London Times 8/7/05)
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To: ridge
If someone can find the e-mail of the President of this university, I believe the widow's letter should be sent to him, with a suggestion that he/she should consider whether a professor who savages the dead and injured on the basis of no facts deserves to be a tenured professor at that university.

John /Billybob
15 posted on 08/22/2005 8:45:10 PM PDT by Congressman Billybob (I'm on the road, now. Contact me at John_Armor@aya.edu.net.)
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To: HitmanNY

You ever attempt to save a woman from a culture that imprisons or seeks to kill them? You're wife wouldn't go along with that?


16 posted on 08/22/2005 8:47:00 PM PDT by Mr.Clark (From the darkness....I shall come)
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To: denydenydeny

I read the third paragraph. But you may be right, everyone isn't as petty and small minded as I am.

Many are gullible, in fact.


17 posted on 08/22/2005 8:59:54 PM PDT by HitmanLV
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To: Mr.Clark

No, I don't think any woman I have romanced would let me marry another woman to save her. Sorry.


18 posted on 08/22/2005 9:00:31 PM PDT by HitmanLV
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To: HitmanNY

You, like Cole, have no evidence that Mr. Vincent was "romancing" her. If he was, do you think he would have mentioned the lady to his wife at all?


19 posted on 08/22/2005 9:05:13 PM PDT by Mr.Clark (From the darkness....I shall come)
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To: HitmanNY
Hmmm...I was just thinking that I would go along with something like this. I trust my husband that much.

I know nothing about this information, but I will call em like I see em and say that I see this as plausible.
20 posted on 08/22/2005 9:09:39 PM PDT by pollyannaish
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