Man commits suicide after learning Harry Potter spoiler

http://www.jewishworldreview.com ^ | Andy Borowitz

[RegulatorCountry]

"It appears that most of the FReepers today don't understand that this is not a real story."

Well, if you've spent any time whatsoever over at DU, this is entirely believable.

[sharktrager]

I was the same way when I was told the plot twist for "American Wedding".

Scared Bunny Blog
Not for the timid

[SpottedBeaver]

Actually, I really like the new BSG. It's one of the best Sci-Fi Shows on TV right now. I eagerly anticipate the start of the second season next Friday.

[JenB]

So what's the spoiler????

Turns out Voldemort is really.... Harry! Our hero turns to the Dark Side and travels back in time to become the man he hates.

[retrokitten]

Potter Ping!! We are almost there!

[The Brush]

How many at Democratic Underground felt the same way after the election.
While I don't condone this type of behavior, it does help to solve the Social Security dilemma

[Phantom Lord]

Am I psychic or what?

Or what.

What you actually are is someone who failed to read the source of the story.

[null and void]

Not bad!

[ABG(anybody but Gore)]

I had to read it two times before I realized it was satire. There are some Star Trek, Star Wars, and other fans that I've met who're capable of doing this.

I remember going to the opening night of "ST: First Contact" and being surrounded by people wearing Borg costumes, and going to Origins in Ft. Worth in '93 and being surrounded by Klingons and Imperial Stormtroopers. I was wearing a polo shirt, shorts, and drinking a beer. They threw the rest out because there weren't supposed to be roleplaying thingys where people wore costumes.

I did have a blast playing Battletech and Star Fleet Battles. If any other geeks want to hear about it, I'll tell you how I wrecked an entire battlefest in 20 minutes on Battletech... ;^)

[JenB]

I have my sources...

The only real spoilers I can think of would be "Who is the Half-Bood Prince?" and "Who dies?". Or maybe "Who is the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, and what becomes of him?" (the surprise there would be nothing, he comes back in book seven).

[Not A Snowbird]

So, did the note say what the spoiler was?

[soundandvision]

What you actually are is someone who failed to read the source of the story.

Explain?

[Trimegistus]

You can't fool me. This was only supposed to _look_ like a suicide. Rowling and Scholastic are serious about preventing pre-release leaks, and they have legions of dedicated Satanist assassins at their beck and call.

[Phantom Lord]

Explain?

The author is Andy Borowitz. This story is fake.

[soundandvision]

I'm unfamiliar with Andy Borowitz' work. No indication was given that he writes "Onion-esque" stories unless you scroll down below the actual piece.

Even still -- I don't doubt that if such a thing occured there would be a quote demanding the government do something. (laugh)

[dfwgator]

I wonder if this guy read "Old Yeller" when he was a kid?