Posted on 05/25/2005 8:31:47 AM PDT by redrock
"Once Upon a Time.......a Polack,an American and a German were going to be shot by a firing squad. When the American was about to be shot he shouted out "Tornado!". So the whole firing squad ran...and the American escaped. The next day the German was about to be shot when he yelled "Tidal Wave" and the whole firing squad ran....and the German escaped. The next day the Polack was going to be shot. The firing squad was all lined up and just as they were aiming....he yelled out "Fire"."
I have never met anyone as happy as Stan.
The guy NEVER (and it wasn't forced) was not laughing...or telling jokes...(usually Polack jokes...but then, as he explained it,...."Kid...with a last name like Wierzbowski...I'm allowed")...or just grinning.
Nothing seemed to bring him down.
Which, for a man in an Iron Lung,....was remarkable.
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I was ten....and my dad was going back into the V.A. Hospital for some more work on his body...trying to fix some problems that arose from him being in a wheelchair. (see last years Memorial Day thread "The Luckiest Boy in the World" for more)
He was going to a new ward....and the first person I saw on that ward....was Stan. Laying there in his Iron Lung.....cracking jokes left and right...(usually with half a dozen people gathered around)....and just being happy.
For the next 7 years....visiting my dad whenever he was in the V.A.Hospital (off and on) wasn't as hard as it could have been...because there was always Stan...and his jokes.....and his silly grin.
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"Two Polish hunters were driving thru the country to go Bear hunting. They came upon a fork in the road where a sign said 'Bear Left'.
So they went home......"
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When I was 17....I enlisted in the Army. After Basic....and Med. Training...I was being sent to Vietnam.I was saying my "Goodbyes" to all the old soldiers...sailors...airmen that I had come to know in the Hospital...when I came across Stan. He wasn't laughing...and he wasn't smiling.
He looked at me and just asked..."So....you going to war??"
I said something along the lines of.."Well...I'm going to be a Medic...so it should be ok." (What a dumb....dumb...dumb statement!!)
"Kiddo...let's talk....."
So...we spent the next couple of hours talking. Stan told me of when he was 17...and enlisted in the Marines.
WWII was on....and "Everyone had to do their part".
Of going thru training....and being assigned to the 28th Marine Regiment. Of the constant training...and, when they had passes, of the constant partying....and drinking. But as he put it...."Hey...we were Marines....and 18."
Then of being put on a ship...and of sailing for days on the ocean. Finally arriving off of some island in the Pacific. One with a funny looking mountain at one end.
Iwo.
Of how the 'old-timers' ("20 year olds....") kept saying that it didn't look good. That this was going to be a tough nut to crack. Of how the fear was a constant and ever-present companion.
Then the landing....Japanese machine guns and artillery just pounding the beach....and killing Marines. Of finally getting a small foothold....and of breathing a sigh of relief when he could spend a few minutes without being shot at.
He spent 32 days on the island...fighting. Always near someone who died...or was wounded. But he never was hurt....never even got a flesh wound. (one that would at least got him some hot food.)
"Kiddo...keep your head down when you get there...and you'll be ok."
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About a year after I got back from Vietnam....Stan passed away. The disease that put him in an Iron Lung....finally won.
So I put on my Dress Uniform (he would have like that)..and went to his funeral. I was amazed at the number of people present (or maybe I really wasn't after I thought about it). Most of the older crowd also had on their old uniforms. Couple of Colonels....lots and lots of Sgt.'s. I was asked to be a pall-bearer.
When I got close to the casket.....I noticed something that made me start to tear up a little...(or maybe it was just the Santa Ana winds...and all that dust).
For on his coffin was something that Stan NEVER talked about.
A Silver Star. His Silver Star.
After the funeral....I asked some of the old Sgt.'s about it.
On Iwo....Stan's platoon had been pinned down by 2 machine guns. Machine guns that were doing damage...and killing his friends. So...he crawled as close as he could to the first....threw a grenade and killed those Japanese firing on his platoon. This allowed the rest of his platoon to get the other site.
It sounds so simple. But it was 50 yards to the first machine gun site...and he was under constant fire from both sites . How he never got hit....is a miracle.
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Q: How do you tell which is the Groom at a Polish Wedding??
A: He's the one in the CLEAN bowling shirt.
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The Jokes I have put on this thread are the ones I remember from Stan.
So...if in your neighborhood...someone is telling jokes....listen.
For that person telling you jokes...and making you laugh...may just be an American Hero.......
The Polish Ballbuster
LOL
"we TEXICANS tell those same stories on the OKIES"
But did you ever see them Texicans holding up two fingers and yelling, "We're number one! We're number one!"?
Lighten up Francis.
A group of American soldiers were bivouaced somewhere in the Pacific during WWII. As per regulations, the battalion medical officer was conducting a sanitation inspection. He addressed the sergeant who was in charge of the troops. "Sergeant," the doctor asked, "what procedures do you use to make the water safe for your men to drink?" The sergeant, a grand old Irishman, replied, "Sir, first we use iodine tablets." The doctor said "Very good." "Then we use halazone." The doctor nodded and said, "Excellent." "Then we boil it for fifteen minutes." The doctor smiled, "Excellent." "Following that, we filter it through charcoal." "Outstanding, Sergeant!" "And then, just to be sure, we drink beer."
"Actually...I was always told by Stan...(and by my Aunt who was from Poland)...that 'Polak' is how you say it in Poland."
Interesting. My friend from school, Dick Wyrsinski, said that in Poland, it was Polski. Not disputing. Just find the difference interesting.
bump
Thank You.........this one brought a tear to my eye...
"But did you ever see them Texicans holding up two fingers and yelling, "We're number one! We're number one!"?"
That's how they recruit in Texas. OU asks the studs if they want to play for a state championship, or a National Championship!
I was born a redneck and raised in Cajun Country. I love both of those kinda jokes. Lighten up, you are sounding like a liberal.
Boudreaux dies and goes to hell. The devil wants to make him miserable so he turns up the heat and goes to Boudreaux's room and asks how he likes it there. Boudreaux says "Oh mais cher, it feels like a good southern day in June." The devil gets mad and turns up the heat even more. He goes back and asks Boudreaux how do he likes it now. Boudreaux says "Oh mais cher, it feels like a good southern day in July." The devil's really mad now and goes back and turns the thermostat all the way to COLD (Freezing Cold!!). He goes back to Boudreaux, who now has icicles hanging off his moustache, and asks him how he likes it now. Boudreaux says, "I don't know mais cher, but I bleave da saints done won dem a Superbowl.
"That's how they recruit in Texas. OU asks the studs if they want to play for a state championship, or a National Championship!"
Can't be much wrong with a guy who has five kids and knows which team to root for.
redrock
redrock
Hear about the Polish woman who chipped her tooth using her new vibrator?
Absolutely. I, too, am one of a kind, with continuing setbacks, yet I am the comedian because I know how great it is to be alive.
Woody Hayes, Coach of the Ohio State Buckeyes, said the following after a touch down pass: That must of been the longest pass in history it was thrown from Pole to Pole.
Thw quarterback was Ron Macejawski who through to Bruce Jankowski for the TD.
I need to use spell check "threw"
A Marine pilot and an old seadog Navy captain are sitting in a bar when the Marine says, "This is boring. Let's go to Las Vegas and have a bit of fun."
The Navy captain says, "Okay, how we gonna get there?"
"Oh, there's an old KC-130 sitting on the runway we can take. We'll be in Vegas in about four hours," says the Marine.
So they take off and they're flying over Georgia when one of the engines goes out. The captain says: "Hey, one the engines stopped. What does that mean?"
The Marine says, "Aw, don't worry. We'll be flying a little bit slower. It just means it'll take six hours to get to Vegas instead of four."
They're flying along when No. 2 engine goes out over Texas. The Navy captain says, "Hey, we lost another engine. What does that mean?"
"Aw, don't worry," says the Marine. "It just means it'll take 10 hours to get to Vegas."
Flying over New Mexico, engine No. 3 stops. "Hey, this ain't good," says the captain. "Another engine stopped."
The Marine says, "Aw, don't worry. Just means that it'll take 14 hours to get to Vegas."
Finally over Arizona, engine No. 4 goes out. "Aw crap," yells the captain. "Now we're gonna be up here forever."
Thanks, redrock. Keep 'em coming.
So I put on my Dress Uniform (he would have like that)..and went to his funeral. I was amazed at the number of people present (or maybe I really wasn't after I thought about it). Most of the older crowd also had on their old uniforms. Couple of Colonels....lots and lots of Sgt.'s. I was asked to be a pall-bearer.
When I got close to the casket.....I noticed something that made me start to tear up a little...(or maybe it was just the Santa Ana winds...and all that dust).
For on his coffin was something that Stan NEVER talked about.
A Silver Star. His Silver Star.
After the funeral....I asked some of the old Sgt.'s about it.
On Iwo....Stan's platoon had been pinned down by 2 machine guns. Machine guns that were doing damage...and killing his friends. So...he crawled as close as he could to the first....threw a grenade and killed those Japanese firing on his platoon. This allowed the rest of his platoon to get the other site.
It sounds so simple. But it was 50 yards to the first machine gun site...and he was under constant fire from both sites . How he never got hit....is a miracle.
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