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WV SCHOOLS TO BECOME N.A.M.E. COMPLIANT
Zarr Chasm Chronical [sic] | 1/14/05 | Keli Kilohana

Posted on 01/15/2005 2:40:13 PM PST by Keli Kilohana

Sore, WV, 1/14/05, Zarr Chasm Public School Superintendent, Doctor P.C. Macher, has issued guidelines for implementation of the new NAME (Non Abhorrent Moniker Exchange) program beginning with the 2005-6 school year. "To prevent anyone from being offended by religious names and to insure absolute separation of church and state in Sore County, all children must have a voluntary name change upon attendance at our public schools," explained Macher. "Obviously, children named Christian, Mohammed or Moses are going to be mutually offensive to one another--and to atheists; and, it is additionally illegal to allow the very mention of their names in a government school because it violates the establishment clause of the First Amendment--so their names have to go!" "Children will have to voluntarily sensitivize and secularize their names—with parental assistance, of course," said Macher. He went on to explain, "Public School children have one of three options: (1) Go by their initials only. I.e. the name Mohammed bin Ali would be changed to MbA. (A second youngster with the same name would be enumerated as MbA2, and so on with a third as MbA3, etc.) (2) Religious names must be letter-randomized : David would become Dvaid, Divad, or Advid, etc… Mark would be Kram, Armk, or Mrka, etc. (3) Non-compliant students—those who do not select a NAME name--will be called by the last four digits of their SSI number." The NAME program has drawn both support and retort. The Superintendent and Zarr Chasm School board will accept opinions for the next thirty days. Contact, Dr. P.C. Macher, Superintendent ZC County Schools, Sore, WV.


TOPICS: Political Humor/Cartoons; Your Opinion/Questions
KEYWORDS: churchandstate; diversity; religion; sensitivity; separation
I'll bet P.C. stands for "Pual Chrinaist"
1 posted on 01/15/2005 2:40:14 PM PST by Keli Kilohana
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To: Keli Kilohana
"Goodnight and thank you folks, you've been a swell audience, I'll be here all week, don't forget to tip your waitresses--uhhh, waitstaff!"

Why do I have this feeling some people will take this seriously?

2 posted on 01/15/2005 2:43:24 PM PST by Darkwolf377 (Americans never quit. --Gen. Douglas MacArthur)
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To: Darkwolf377

because it is presented in a serious manner.


3 posted on 01/15/2005 2:46:19 PM PST by DixieOklahoma (Alabama - in 2006 vote ROY MOORE governor! - don't let us down!)
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To: Darkwolf377

Because, these days, truth is stranger than fiction.


4 posted on 01/15/2005 2:50:18 PM PST by Sans-Culotte
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To: Keli Kilohana

I had to read it twice, very funny.


5 posted on 01/15/2005 2:50:33 PM PST by CzarNicky (The problem with bad ideas is that they seemed like good ideas at the time.)
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To: Sans-Culotte

True enough. It's hard to come up with an outrageous fiction in a world where there is a Senator Ted Kennedy.


6 posted on 01/15/2005 2:53:55 PM PST by Darkwolf377 (Americans never quit. --Gen. Douglas MacArthur)
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To: Keli Kilohana

what do the hispanic children called "Jesus" do.......????


7 posted on 01/15/2005 3:04:39 PM PST by NorCalRepub
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To: NorCalRepub

"Sejus"--of course.


8 posted on 01/15/2005 3:11:21 PM PST by Keli Kilohana (Editor, ZARR CHASM CHRONICAL [sic], Sore, WV)
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To: Keli Kilohana

Well Keli, is your name already secularized?

Omar;)


9 posted on 01/15/2005 3:43:17 PM PST by bzrd
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To: bzrd

My name is Polynesian for Mohammad Christian ben Nietczhe--so, I'd better leave well enough alone.


10 posted on 01/15/2005 4:05:32 PM PST by Keli Kilohana (Editor, ZARR CHASM CHRONICAL [sic], Sore, WV)
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