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The Planets Have Made Up Their Mind: Kerry Wins (Reuters desperation becoming comical)
Reuters ^ | Fri, Oct 29, 2004

Posted on 10/29/2004 8:34:54 AM PDT by presidio9

Surveys in the United States may be showing the race for president as too close to call but top Indian astrologers say the planets have clearly made up their mind: John Kerry will win.

Planets governing President Bush are eclipsed and in an uncomfortable position, making his tenure controversial and his re-election bid unsuccessful, the soothsayers said on Friday, four days before the vote.

On the other hand, the planets of Democratic challenger Senator John Kerry were in the ascendant, ensuring him success in competitions.

"Saturn, which is the lord of health and fortune for President Bush, has been eclipsed by the Sun, which is unfortunate and gives him a clear defeat," Lachhman Das Madan, editor of a popular astrology magazine, told Reuters.

"Kerry will win," said Madan, who is also known as "the emperor of astrologers." "It is cosmic writ that George W. Bush cannot become president of United States again."

Ajai Bhambi, a senior astrologer and author of several books on the science of predictions, agreed.

"Kerry is likely to beat Bush in the final verdict," he told the New Indian Express newspaper.

Bejan Daruwalla, another top astrologer, told Reuters he had yet to calculate who would win Tuesday's election. But Bush, even if he won, would not be allowed by his planets to complete a full term, he said.

Astrology is extremely popular in India and many top politicians, businessmen and movie stars consult astrologers before taking important decisions.

Tuesday's vote is forecast to be one of the closest in American history. A Reuters/Zogby poll showed on Thursday that Bush was leading Kerry by 48 to 46 percent but the lead was well within the poll's margin of error.


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Extended News; Politics/Elections
KEYWORDS: astrology; desperatedems; napalminthemorning; prozacchewables; reuterskerryagenda; thorazine; uranusjokesneverold; wot
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1 posted on 10/29/2004 8:34:55 AM PDT by presidio9
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To: presidio9

Perhaps this will finally expose Astrology as a sham. I've said for many years that it is not a "real" science, ya know!


2 posted on 10/29/2004 8:36:09 AM PDT by ClearCase_guy (The fourth estate is a fifth column.)
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To: presidio9

How many Electoral Votes does Jupiter, Mars, Venus, etc each have?


3 posted on 10/29/2004 8:36:40 AM PDT by hflynn
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To: presidio9

It does seem like the pollsters are telling us "Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain."


4 posted on 10/29/2004 8:37:02 AM PDT by cripplecreek (We've turned the corner and we're not smokin crack.)
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To: presidio9

F%$# astronomers. Superstitious atheists, anyway.


5 posted on 10/29/2004 8:37:09 AM PDT by RightthinkinAmerican (Is the Republican attack machine an assault weapon?)
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To: presidio9

What was the margin of Error?? Stop posting garbage from Reuters.;)


6 posted on 10/29/2004 8:37:12 AM PDT by Perdogg (Dubya - Right Man, Right Job, at the Right Time!)
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To: presidio9
But Bush, even if he won, would not be allowed by his planets to complete a full term, he said.

The planets are trying to steal our election!!!

7 posted on 10/29/2004 8:37:17 AM PDT by Brilliant
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To: presidio9

Sounds like the Onion

Reuters, what biased jokes.


8 posted on 10/29/2004 8:37:54 AM PDT by Cubs Fan (Liberals have the inverse midas touch, everything they get a hold of turns to S&*%)
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To: presidio9

But my mother-in-law's gimpy knee says it will be Nader/Buchanan.


9 posted on 10/29/2004 8:37:59 AM PDT by KidGlock (I already voted for Bush/Cheney 2004. Did you?)
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To: presidio9

Kerry can still win without Neptune, but he ought to send his wife there just to be sure.


10 posted on 10/29/2004 8:38:15 AM PDT by Question Liberal Authority (How do you ask a goose to be the last goose to die for the Kerry campaign?)
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To: presidio9

Interesting that an article about astrology also mentions the Zogby poll.


11 posted on 10/29/2004 8:38:15 AM PDT by Sooth2222
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To: hflynn

(insert Uranus joke here)


12 posted on 10/29/2004 8:38:36 AM PDT by presidio9 (Islam is as Islam does)
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To: presidio9

The Redskins need to win this Sunday.


13 posted on 10/29/2004 8:38:49 AM PDT by Allegra (You want fries with that?)
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To: ClearCase_guy

The fact that Reuters would run this story, and put the headline, they've put is borderline insane, as if Republican astrologers wouldn't say the exact opposite.


14 posted on 10/29/2004 8:39:08 AM PDT by hawaiian
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To: presidio9

"Bush Administration tricks planets!" - post-election headline.


15 posted on 10/29/2004 8:39:21 AM PDT by DannyTN
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To: ClearCase_guy

Maybe we should retort by quoting and interpreting prodigies (with tongue in cheek, of course)? Any monstrous births, comets, and the like recently?


16 posted on 10/29/2004 8:39:50 AM PDT by GSlob
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To: presidio9

Is this still a real news agency? Or, was it ever?


17 posted on 10/29/2004 8:39:57 AM PDT by July 4th (You need to click "Abstimmen")
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To: presidio9

Of course Kerry is going to win. Thats why the Dems shouldn't even vote, its over. :^)


18 posted on 10/29/2004 8:40:08 AM PDT by subterfuge (Union THuGs: they're all the RAGE!)
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To: hflynn
How many Electoral Votes does Jupiter, Mars, Venus, etc each have?

If it were up to the Rats, they'd get one EV for each millimeter of distance from the Earth.

19 posted on 10/29/2004 8:41:30 AM PDT by CFC__VRWC (I've got a tagline, but I'm too lazy to type it out.)
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To: presidio9

What about the new planet discovered and named by former President Clinton? He said I wanted the new planet to have a name that sounds like Venus.


20 posted on 10/29/2004 8:41:37 AM PDT by hflynn
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