Posted on 10/15/2004 12:48:41 AM PDT by Kornev
1 Star
"What are you rebelling against, Johnny?"
"Whaddya got?" )
--Marlon Brando in "The Wild One" If this dialogue is not inscribed over the doors of Trey Parker and Matt Stone, it should be. Their "Team America: World Police" is an equal opportunity offender, and waves of unease will flow over first one segment of their audience, and then another. Like a cocky teenager who's had a couple of drinks before the party, they don't have a plan for who they want to offend, only an intention to be as offensive as possible.
Their strategy extends even to their decision to use puppets for all of their characters, a choice that will not be univerally applauded. Their characters, one-third lifesize, are clearly artificial, and yet there's something going on around the mouths and lips that looks halfway real, as if they were inhabited by the big faces with moving mouths from the Conan O'Brien show. There are times when the characters risk falling into the Uncanny Valley, that rift used by robot designers to describe robots that alarm us by looking too humanoid.
The plot seems like a collision at the screenplay factory between several half-baked world-in-crisis movies. Team America, a group not unlike the Thunderbirds, bases its rockets, jets and helicopters inside Mount Rushmore, which is hollow, and race off to battle terrorism wherever it is suspected. In the opening sequence, they swoop down on Paris and fire on caricatures of Middle East desperadoes, missing most of them but managing to destroy the Eiffel Tower, the Arc de Triomphe and the Louvre.
Regrouping, the team's leader, Spottswoode (voice by Daran Norris) recruits a Broadway actor named Gary to go undercover for them. When first seen, Gary (voice by Parker) is starring in the musical "Lease," and singing "Everyone has AIDS." Ho, ho. Spottswoode tells Gary: "You're an actor with a double major in theater and world languages! Hell, you're the perfect weapon!" There's a big laugh when Gary is told that, if captured, he may want to kill himself and is supplied with a suicide device I will not reveal.
Spottswoode's plan: Terrorists are known to be planning to meet at "a bar in Cairo." The Team America helicopter will land in Cairo, and four uniformed team members will escort Gary, his face crudely altered to look "Middle Eastern," to the bar, where he will go inside and ask whazzup. As a satire on our inability to infiltrate other cultures, this will do, I suppose. It leads to an ill-advised adventure where in the name of fighting terrorism, Team America destroys the Pyramids and the Sphinx. But it turns out the real threat comes from North Korea and its leader Kim Jong Il (voice also by Parker), who plans to unleash "9/11 times 2,356." "Why that would mean ..." says Gary. "2,146,316," says Kim Jong Il. No. 1 on his list: Blowing up the Panama Canal.
Opposing Team America is the Film Actors' Guild, or FAG, ho, ho, with puppets representing Alec Baldwin, Tim Robbins, Matt Damon, Susan Sarandon and Sean Penn (who has written an angry letter about the movie to Parker and Stone). No real point is made about the actors' activism; they exist in the movie essentially to be ridiculed for existing at all, I guess. Hans Blix, the U.N. chief weapons inspector, also turns up, and has a fruitless encounter with the North Korean dictator. Some of the scenes are set to music, including such tunes as "Pearl Harbor Sucked and I Miss You" and "America -- F***, Yeah!"
If I were asked to extract a political position from the movie, I'd be baffled. It is neither for nor against the war on terrorism, just dedicated to ridiculing those who wage it and those who oppose it. The White House gets a free pass, since the movie seems to think Team America makes its own policies without political direction.
I wasn't offended by the movie's content so much as by its nihilism. At a time when the world is in crisis and the country faces an important election, the response of Parker, Stone and company is to sneer at both sides -- indeed, at anyone who takes the current world situation seriously. They may be right that some of us are puppets, but they're wrong that all of us are fools, and dead wrong that it doesn't matter.
Totally expected
Those grapes sour?
I know man. This review makes me want to see the movie even more. Their South Park movie pratically made me pee my pants.
Trey and Matt actually had an episode that they titled "Roger Ebert Should Lay Off the Fatty Foods". Better known as the "plane-arium" episode.No doubt in my mind at all. I thought of that as soon as I saw the title of this thread.In the episode the head of the planetarium gave the following line:
"Now stars are actually made of hot gas, which is exactly what comes out of Roger Ebert's a$$."
Perhaps that explains why Ebert only gave Team America one star
-Eric
I'm not sure, but I think you owe the Governor an apology.
Oooh. I was waiting for this review. If he says it that bad it must be great. I'm going.
Stephen Hunter who writes for the WaPo (and is also the author of the Bob Lee Swagger and Earl Swagger novels) received a Pulitzer for his movie criticism last year.
Nah, a BRO!
I'm so going. Twice. Then I'll buy the DVD.
Roger Ebert Should Lay Off the Fatty Foods
FYI Ebert the liberal avenger gets a load a dough from the Illinois casino business thru his wife, some lawyer hack with connections.
The resemblence is uncanny, but there is NO comparison in the quality of their minds and the clarity of their thinking. See, for instance:
Dixie Lee Ray on socialism and radical environmentalism
...Oh, and Dixie Lee is much more handsome.
I used to revere Ebert's reviews, but politics aside, the clarity, wit and insight which used to characterize them as pretty much vaporized over the last few years. His recent bouts of ill health doubtless have much to do with it.
No way of knowing if it is him or not, but OpenSecrets.org lists the following political donation.
EBERT, R J
CHICAGO,IL 60614
Employer THE EBERT CO. LTD.
Profession WRITER
Date 3/4/2004
Amount $1,000
Kerry, John
http://www.opensecrets.org/indivs/search.asp?NumOfThou=0&txtName=ebert&txtState=IL&txtZip=&txtEmploy=&txtCand=&txt2004=Y&txt2002=Y&txt2000=Y&Order=N
(In other news, Chaz Ebert seems to have a hard time remembering what he does for a living, having listed VOLUNTEER, ATTORNEY, CONSULTANT, SELF EMPLOYED, SELF EMPLOYED/ATTORNEY, N/A/HOMEMAKER
& GENERAL COUNSEL as his various professions.)
Thanks. I didn't know about Stephen Hunter. I've got to get off this forum and get out more. 8~)
"I wasn't offended by the movie's content so much as by its nihilism. At a time when the world is in crisis and the country faces an important election, the response of Parker, Stone and company is to sneer at both sides -- indeed, at anyone who takes the current world situation seriously."
Newsflash, Ebert: It's a comedy.
Leftists can't stand anything that isn't propaganda for their side.
Ebert is a dem shill. If he likes a movie, I always hate it.
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