YOU HAVE BEEN CHARGED WITH SPRINGING AN OCTOBER SURPRISE ON JOHN KERRY (post the details here)

Nov 10, 2004 | COPYRIGHT 2004

[Liz]

Because of your superior knowledge and expertise, you have been given the task of springing an October Surprise on the Kerry camp. Post the details here.

MY OCTOBER SURPRISES LIST:

(1) Terayza's accountant will disclose Terayza purchases cases of Hunt's Tomato Ketchup.

(2) John Kerry's Nantucket instructor will acknowledge that Kerry's windsurfing skills suck.

(3) PETA will file suit against Kerry for endangering the life of a hamster.

(4) Pres Bush announces he will name Ralph Nader Secy of Commerce.

(5) The Ntl Enquirer will publish nude photos of Kerry that nobody is actually interested in seeing.

(6) For big bucks, Kerry's personal butler will tell-all about John's disgusting personal hygeine habits.

(7) Terayza's plastic surgeon will reveal on MTV that she has had silicone implants on her hips. (Don't even ask why.)

(8) Motel 6 has videos of Kerry and the Ntl Enquirer's got 'em.

[Liz]

Post your October Surprises here.

[schaketo]

Pictures of John Kerry and Michael Jackson hand in hand on a private nude beach …

DNA verification surfaces that Teresa Heinz Kerry is actually a man …

John Edwards is gay …

[Huck]

A bombshell report comes out that shows that John Kerry served in Vietnam.

[peyton randolph]

Senator Kerry's male intern is taken to the emergency room for cigar extraction. The intern is wearing a stained blue dress.

[roaddog727]

"John Edwards is gay …"

That's no suprise......

[LOC1]

Another new John Kerry, complete with new positions on every issue, will show up at the final debate.

[leadpenny]

His ex will confirm he is a woman.

[FesterUSMC]

Terayza's accountant will disclose Terayza purchases cases of Hunt's Tomato Ketchup.

If you see her tell her i bought a big 'ol thing of Hunt's yesterday, and the brats were awesome :^)

[thegreatbeast]

You mean he ain't???????

[Liz]

OMG, I'm shocked, shocked (/end Claude Rains impersonaiton).

[Liz]

OCTOBER SURPRISE

The Ntl Enquirer will publish nude photos of Kerry that nobody is actually interested in seeing.

[T'wit]

John Edwards is filing a class action suit against N.O.W., NARAL, Emily's List and the League of Women Voters for (1) infringing the rights of unborn babies and (2) being so ugly they make the hounds howl.

[OESY]

October Surprise: Democrat Donor to Kerry received $22 million in "Oil for Food" Scandal

[stockpirate]

That John Kerry beat his first wife.

"Kerry refuses any and all comments about his activities, including an alleged spanking of Julia Thorne, with Teddy Kennedy as a witness. He should learn from Cora Weiss that a thorough tongue-thrashing is the way to go."

Kerry beat his ex-wife

Part of Kerry's Global Test includes space aliens.

"But I can do a better job of protecting America's security because the test that I was talking about was a test of legitimacy, not just in the globe, but elsewhere."

Kerry speaks with space aliens

[KY Dittohead]

And I thought I was just being mean thinking that...glad to know I'm just being "right".

[Liz]

Did Oscar Wyatt pay taxes on the $22M windfall (/sarc)?

[OESY]

October Surprise: ABC, CBS and the NY Times beat CNN and NBC, admit liberal biases while promoting Kerry

[Prophet in the wilderness]

On number 5 , how right you are, lol, ROTFL , loved that one.
Number 6 , Bodytrainer also says, his body is a lost cause to bring back in shape.

[Esther Ruth]

Investigators will find that John Kerry's Crystal Ball is really broken and has never ever worked and worse - that John Kerry ain't go no stinkin Plan, never had one, never will.

[OESY]

October Surprise: Kerry comes clean, releases service records, medical history and Teresa's tax returns