Posted on 08/20/2004 12:01:13 PM PDT by Pukin Dog
What a week it has been.
Round 1. "First Blows"
The Swift Vets for truth came out of their corner and immediately knocked Kerry back with a stinging series of jabs. Kerry, stunned by the early blows, Kerry was left wide open for the crisp left hook to his memory, a barrage that left Kerry only able to backpeddle and try to gain his senses with respect to Cambodia.
Stunned and surprised by the power punches bouncing off his face, Kerry started swinging wildly hoping to connect with a roundhouse blow. His legs wobbly, his punches were weak and ineffective against the Swifties, who kept their hands up and easily blocked the uncoordinated, sloppy counter attacks.
Round 2 "Footwork"
With no defense against the Cambodian left hook, Kerry attempted to go 'Southpaw', frantically tossing out weak responses to the savage blows from his opponent. He tried hitting under the belt, attempting to slow the Swifties offensive, but the Swifties brass balls just glanced off Kerry's girly-man punches.
Sensing an imminent knockout, Kerry started complaining to the referee, claiming unfair tactics in the Swifties corner. Never mind that Kerry could not dodge or slip the Swifties' punches, he just didn’t support their right to throw them. Between rounds, Kerry's corner men begged him to fight back.
Round 3 "Stick and Move"
Kerry tried to create an opening in the Swifties' defense by resorting to trying to trip them up. Even his corner tried to hook them from under the ropes in a coordinated counter attack. Just when Kerry sensed his response was going to work, BOOM!! Where did they go? Having scored points in the early rounds against Kerry, the Swifties have let loose an incredible combination of blows, straight to the jaw of Kerry's patriotism.
Now, the tactics against the initial attack are meaningless, and Kerry's arms are down at his sides after taking a Hanoi-Hilton blow directly in the gut. The Swifties are cutting him down like a tree, leaving Kerry open for the knockout blow. What should he do? Can he counter-attack? Should he duck and run? Like the Palooka he is, he can only continue to lead with his face.
Stayed tuned, the knockout blow is coming. Soon we are going to find out if that big chin of Kerry's is made of glass. I predict, he's goin down in round 5 after taking a 'conventional' beating in Round 4.
-PD
One....
Two...
Three...
This is an excellent point. Kerry must drop defending the initial charges to come up with some defense against the new ad. I LOVE IT!
The brilliance of the Swift Vets strategy is proof enough that they are not a front for the GOP!
Down goes Kerry! - Down Goes Kerry!
Or was it McGreevey? It's been a long week.
(In my best Howard Cosell voice): "Down goes Kerry!! Down goes Kerry!! Down goes Kerry!!"
Four...
There he goooooooes, folks! He's going down, down, down. With his arms wide open he falls back taking down with him HANOI JANE!!!!!!!!!!!Yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!
Five...
He cant call them liars, he still cant find Cambodia if it bit him on the ass, he flips, he flops, he is going down.
This reporter observed these cries falling on deaf ears.Speaking of ears, watch out for your ears Swifties as Kerry may come out biting ....
Upon regaining his feet on a standing 8 count, Kerry immeediatley began flailing wildly by asking the judges to not only stop the fight, but to declare that it had never happened (but that he had won) and to erase all facts of it from the official records.
Profound!
My compliments.
This sounds amazingly like Mike "Iron Mike" Tyson's last fight. It's all over but the crying...
Deep sources close to the Kerry camp have revealed under conditions of anonymity that Kerry has two left hands and aggravated irritable bowel syndrome. Speculation suggests these may be the reasons for the failure of the Kerry camp to release medical records ....developing hot....
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