Desperately seeking Mr. Right. Or Left.

Christian Science Monitor ^ | August 06, 2004 edition | Elizabeth Lund

[Vision Thing]

As if the dating game weren't hard enough already, now there's a new twist to the age-old practice of pitching woo: More singles want Mr. or Ms. Right to belong to the "right" political party as well. And a slew of new political dating websites have popped up to help people find a pool of like-minded candidates.

If that sounds like preelection hoopla, consider the fact that politics has invaded every other facet of American life in the past three years. It's on TV, in movies, and in mainstream publications. "Who are you voting for?" is becoming an icebreaker for many who feel that the November election is this century's D-Day.

These self-described activists are avoiding mainstream dating services, which don't identify people by political persuasion, in favor of sites such as www.conservativematch.com or www.democraticsingles.net.

While some wonder if these sites - most of which are less than six months old - are just an election-year marketing ploy, the link between politics and dating is real, and experts say it's here to stay.

"We are living in a moment when there are a lot of really controversial and highly political issues," says Steffen Schmidt, a political science professor at Iowa State University. "The country is horribly polarized."

Many people worry about terrorism, casualties in Iraq, and losing civil liberties, he notes, and it's natural to discuss such fears with those we may become emotionally involved with.

This was certainly the case for Leigh Stringer, an architect. In October 2002, she was living in London and became very concerned about recent events back home in the US.She began sharing her thoughts with John Hlinko, a liberal activist she met through Match.com.

Within weeks she knew he was the one. Shared political beliefs "are one more set of criteria that lets you know you're soul mates," she says.

Today, the two, who live in Washington, D.C., are planning their wedding for one week before the presidential election.

They also work together on political campaigns and on ActForLove, a politically oriented dating site Mr. Hlinko started in April. They will spend the first part of their honeymoon "hanging out at polling sites," she says.

That may sound a bit extreme to people who live outside the capital. But many Washington residents say that their dating agenda - stick with people who share your ideology - is slowly sweeping the country, just as an interest in politics has.

Politics has gone mainstream, says Matthew Felling, media director of the Center for Media and Public Affairs in Washington, because after 9/11, people "realized that decisions they made or didn't make have repercussions politically and globally."

As evidence of this new trend, Mr. Felling points to the number of political books that have landed on the bestseller lists in recent months.

"Politics is the new table topic," he says, one that is likely to outlast the current electoral cycle because it represents "an increased consciousness, and that doesn't fade."

But don't let all this talk about values and idealism fool you. Politics may appeal to people's intellect, say experts, but it also has a certain sex appeal.

Politics sexy? Some observers certainly think so.

"When people list what they want in a partner, they often say somebody who has goals and knows what they want out of life, people with strong views who are taking steps toward that," says Tony Sandoval of Terra9 Singles, which operates www.republicansingles.com and www.democraticsingles.com. Members range in age from 20 to 75.

"When you believe strongly in something, that can be a turn-on to some people," he says.

Yet as politics becomes more of an issue in the dating world, that doesn't always translate into same-party dating.

In fact, according to a recent study conducted by iMatchup.com, more than 80 percent of Americans would be willing to date someone with a different political outlook.

A Gallup poll conducted for Match.com also found that 57 percent of singles would consider marrying someone with significantly different political beliefs from their own.

These findings don't necessarily contradict what the niche dating sites have found, says Trish McDermott, a vice president of Match.com. "Our research is telling us that if you're passionate about politics, you need a partner who understands that passion."

Understanding the passion, however, doesn't necessarily mean sharing the same opinions. Ms. McDermott points to Mary Matalin and James Carville as an example of political partisans who are confident enough of their views that they "don't need to have them affirmed in the relationship."

The important trend, according to McDermott, is "the fact that people are talking about politics on dates today," which they didn't do as much in the past.

Jessica Barba and Justin Ziegler of New York find that's true in their relationship. She's a Democrat who works for a nonprofit, and he's a Republican who is a corporate bond researcher.

Occasionally their political discussions will end with, "Well, your sources are wrong."

Still, Ms. Barba says the talks are worthwhile because they have made her more informed about the issues and they "keep you on your toes."

But in the end, partisan politics has little impact on their relationship. "Politics does not define my goals," says Barba, who, like her boyfriend, is a committed Roman Catholic. "Religion is what defines my day-to-day existence and where I am going in life."

[Paleo Conservative]

Considering that a large proportion of lefty male DemocRATS are gay, I bet lefty heterosexual women will have a harder time finding compatible males.

[Argus]

They will spend the first part of their honeymoon "hanging out at polling sites," she says.

Who says romance is dead?

[Vision Thing]

Worse yet for the lefty hetero females, when they find a non-gay lefty, more than likely, the guy is a metrosexual.

[adam_az]

"Worse yet for the lefty hetero females, when they find a non-gay lefty, more than likely, the guy is a metrosexual."

and a WIMP.

[qam1]

Xer Ping

Ping list for the discussion of the politics and social aspects that directly effects Generation Reagan / Generation-X (Those born from 1965-1981) including all the spending previous generations (i.e. The Baby Boomers) are doing that Gen-X and Y will end up paying for.

Freep mail me to be added or dropped. See my home page for details and previous articles.  

[weegee]

While it is possible to love someone who will cancel out your vote on election day, can you raise kids with someone who believes that parents should be denied information when your minor daughter gets an abortion? Can you raise kids with someone who believes that all conservatives are racist fascists? Can you raise kids with someone who believes that perjury is okay if the economy is going well?

Many Rats have shown themselves to be an immoral lot and who will not leave the nation a better place for their kids.

Too much is at stake in the culture war. If you don't agree on values and don't plan to raise kids this may be alright (so long as you never actually discuss any issues).

[weegee]

Understanding the passion, however, doesn't necessarily mean sharing the same opinions. Ms. McDermott points to Mary Matalin and James Carville as an example of political partisans who are confident enough of their views that they "don't need to have them affirmed in the relationship."

They are both public figures. They don't need to have their views validated by each other, they have plenty of admirers in the tv audience.

[NYC GOP Chick]

Exactly! Although to me, it's not so much about raising kids, but how I could share my life and my heart with someone who thinks that Clinton was great and voting for Hildebeast was a good thing.

Also, conservative men tend to be more handsome and masculine. :)

[usurper]

www.conservativematch.com

Hummm, should I or should I not. Ok I'll peek.

[longtermmemmory]

So basically it will break into a two dating system. One party for mere sex, the other for relationship.

Reminds me of a group of party girls who though they could party outside the Greek church community and then become born again virgins inside the church community when they wanted to marry.

[1_Inch_Group]

jeez, I couldn't imagine living with a liberal that is as passionate about America as I am. ( oh, wait...liberals aren't passionate about America, they're passionate about Socialism ). I wonder how much politics really influences people though. I'm the only one in my office that votes. I try and encourage them, but they just don't care. I'm of the opinion that not many people care about what's going on...as long as they are getting theirs.

I only have to deal with the secretary and my limp-wristed co-workers for 8 hours a day....and I'm ready to rip their illegal alien hiring heads off.

But then again, with another right wing in the house...lol

[Siamese Princess]

While it is possible to love someone who will cancel out your vote on election day, can you raise kids with someone who believes that parents should be denied information when your minor daughter gets an abortion? Can you raise kids with someone who believes that all conservatives are racist fascists? Can you raise kids with someone who believes that perjury is okay if the economy is going well?

Many Rats have shown themselves to be an immoral lot and who will not leave the nation a better place for their kids.

Too much is at stake in the culture war. If you don't agree on values and don't plan to raise kids this may be alright (so long as you never actually discuss any issues).

Absolutely. In the past, conservatives and liberals alike still agreed on matters regarding personal integrity and common decency. That's no longer true: there are definite differences in attitudes towards such issues as abortion, infidelity, even the importance of honesty. There are just two radically-different world views that are incompatible.

[KangarooJacqui]

I know this isn't the point of this website, but IIRC, more than one marriage has originated from the odd FReepmail...

I know I'm glad to have found somebody I want to share my life with, who shares my political leanings, amongst a plethora of other things we have in common, on FreeRepublic.

Now... if only we lived in the same country! Still, he and I will be together some day soon... *smiles*

[Lauren BaRecall]

Conservative man spotlight on:

Bill Whalen...

...can be found at the Hoover Institution at Stanford University, and he is a definite eligible.

I hear him on the John Batchelor radio show, usually on Friday nights, during the political roundtable segment. Catch him on WABC, the next time you have your own Spa Night. (Talk radio, while soaking in the tub...Ahhhhhhhh!)

He's very smart, has true conservative values, and has a darling personality. He's confident, has a good sense of humor, and is an upbeat kind of guy. In short, he'd make a terrific conservative catch. Yummy!

[NYC GOP Chick]

Thanks! He looks like a good one, but he's on the other side of the country, and I'm not looking right now. ;) But thank you anyway!

[Lauren BaRecall]

Ditto!

And if the topic isn't one of the serious ones you listed, who would want to sentence herself to a lifetime of "blah blah blah."

At least I can turn off the radio (don't watch TV).

[Lauren BaRecall]

You're welcome. I'm also in New York, so he's safe from me! :oD

But still, the stuff that dreams are made of. They're out there!

[NYC GOP Chick]

But still, the stuff that dreams are made of. They're out there!

I do know that for a fact! ;)

[GSlob]

"There are just two radically different world views that are incompatible."
You are right. And what would happen to this country after couple generations of such assortative mating? They are talking polarization? They ain't seen anything yet.