A custom of the country: Is it merely a polite gesture?
By Jo'el Freeman
M y husband will wave to anyone. He attributes this tendency to a span of time he spent on a small island off the coast of Rhode Island. There, the only people that didn't wave to you in passing were tourists - and you certainly didn't want to be accused of being one of those. Besides, he feels that waving is an act of goodwill and that even the grumpiest person will feel a little better after being greeted by a hearty wave.
 That's why, when we moved from a house in the woods to a house on a main road, we continued our custom of waving whenever a familiar car drove by. A sense of neighborliness required us to do so.
My husband and I take turns standing in front of our house with our second grader as she waits for the school bus. Every day, the same people drive by on their way to work or school. There is the small pink vehicle we call the Barbie car, for example, and the c. 1970s van covered with gray patches of body filler that we refer to as the Hippiemobile. Some drivers give us a big smile and wave like we've known one another all our lives. Others start out tentatively, moving their hand only slightly so that if we don't wave back they can pretend they were only fixing their hair or scratching their forehead.
I understand their hesitation. Unlike my spouse, I can't bring myself to wave to everyone. Once, while we were on one of our exploring jaunts, we found an appealing back road that turned out to be a good shortcut to a lake. We had to slow down considerably to negotiate a sharp curve. Just beyond the bend, we were surprised by an elderly woman sitting in a green lawn chair situated directly on the side of the road. As we passed her, she waved. It turns out she sits there every day and waves to every car that happens to gy by. I have always felt she must be a little eccentric or lonely. But this is reading a lot into the situation, because she looks very contented. Anyway, a part of me fears that people will think I am eccentric if I start waving to every car that goes by our house. After all, I am home a great deal more than my husband is!
You probably would be surprised, though, to discover how many people wave to us first now. Some people accompany the gesture with a toot of their horn, which is the heartiest kind of wave. Friends from town that come to visit us and relax with us on our front porch soon find themselves automatically raising their hand in salute to passersby. I always tell these congenial guests that they have just learned the fine art of waving.
Yesterday I went to the post office. In the lobby, standing in front of me in line, was a man I have waved to almost daily for the past four years. He heard my toddler babbling behind him and turned around to look.
"How you all doing? Boy, this one sure is getting big!" he said to me, smiling at my child.
"She surely is! I have to watch her every minute," I replied.
"I'll bet. Hey, that new deck looks great!"
"Thanks - we love it."
"Well, have a great day - nice seeing you."
"You, too! Bye-bye."
The funny thing is, we had never met before.
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