Posted on 06/13/2004 10:24:43 PM PDT by goldstategop
I don't suppose he swore this oath about "in sickness and in health; in good times and in bad..."
All 10 can be faked. 6 is a little harder, but someone clever can find a way to pull the wool over the eyes of friends and family as well as your own. As Churchill said, marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
Chill out bud. It was a joke.
Hang in there. I think it was much harder to find a husband than to be married to one.
As I got older, I changed and the qualities I thought I would want in a husband changed and became more mature. I was a major feminist when I was young although didn't too much Oprah. (Though her dry cleaning special I did really enjoy).
Maybe you have to wait for women in your age group to grow-up. Maybe not. Anyway I wish you success and some good luck.
And what the heck is "Beaches"?? Totally clueless on that one.
And that, my friend, is precisely the problem. People look to celebrities as role models, which is a bad idea, in marriage as well as anything else. Of COURSE you'll be disillusioned if you think THAT's what marriage is like. Mark Steyn made an excellent point about Britney Spears that I think applies here: she isn't "gay or straight, but a celebrity, which is an orientation all in its own... Why anyone would want to be like a celebrity is beyond me. Most of the ones I've known are a pretty sorry bunch."
Scouts Out! Cavalry Ho!
"Genuine faith" isn't good enough. Who doesn't have genuine faith in something -- if only himself? The fact of the faith isn't as important as the object of the faith. For marriage, the object of the faith of the man and woman should be the same. Otherwise, there will be trouble. Consider, for example, the level of marriage disharmony that would result from a conservative Christian woman marrying a conservative Moslem man.
For women, respects of their husband is the fundamental requirement, just as for men love of their wives is the fundamental requirement. If these two are in place, all else follows.
"Just because the author needs "The Fear of God" to keep him loving and not leaving his wife doesn't mean other people do, It's pretty sad this author who seems intelligent can't fathom people getting married and staying together because they actually love each other and want to spend the rest of the lives together."
I'm not sure what 'The Fear of God' has to do with anything. It seems so often I hear people assuming that's all religion is. God is just a super-nanny that tells people what to do or they'll get punished. It's their loss if that's the only God they are capable of conceiving of.
As for two people loving each other. Certainly this is not restricted to religios people. Marriage is never a completely smooth road, however. Problems come up. If the relationship is founded solely on what the two people feel for each other and not on some sense of obligation and commitment, it won't last because feelings change.
It takes two people for marriage. I think you'll find that in any divorce where one has a belief in the responsibilities entailed in marriage and one that has no such belief, it's usually latter that initiates the divorce. The number given are say nothing about this. If the husband gets a divorce, the wife must also get a divorce (and vice versa), even if she didn't want it. One problems today is that two people may not be particularly religious at the time the get married. Later on, one of them does become more committed, perhaps in part because the marriage itself is not going to smoothly and doesn't satisfy him/her. The reverse may also be true. Two religious people get married. One changes. Divorce.
I am just finishing the book "Spin Sisters" by Myrna Blythe. It is an expose of sorts about how women are sold liberalism and materialism (among other things) in the "women's" media. For the most part, it's been a fascinating read... I think some men might gain a lot of insight into the "Oprah" fan type of woman by reading it too. I have to admit, I think Oprah and Dr. Phil, et. al., are the most complete joke. As for the 35+ divorcees who think they are heading off to this exciting new life... it is sad to see how often they end up disillusioned, learning too late to value what they had. They do think there are 25 year old male models out there lusting for them... but as I told my husband once, I think the problem is women see these "relationships" as the embodiment of a romance novel, while the men are just looking at them as the embodiment of a porn flick!
Funny how some people feel about this. I absolutely couldn't manage to not talk politics with my husband... he's used to it now. I also couldn't be with someone with whom I was not in sync politically, since I see much of it as an outgrowth of morality and ethics judgments. I've never understood the Matalin/Carville marriage for that reason... it simply makes me not trust Mary Matalin!
Marriage was instituted by God, but it is not a sacrament.
The other night my husband said since I am home so often and my outlet is usually FreeRepublic, he finds the disadvantage to be that when he comes home I talk about politics. He says he finds politics boring. *sigh* But, at least I know he pretty much has the same conservative belief system.
You put your finger on the point. As your coworker gives you a compliment, while your husband bitched about you burning the food; now the picture in your head becomes the young coworker is good, and the husband is bad! The young coworker is simply interested in one night stand, and you give it to him, and you will be dropped soon.
Women fail to understand that these compliments are essentially an invitation for sex. The Oprah, and the rest of the feminist media idea of I MUST BE WORSHIPED, is grossly exaggerated. Did you notice this commercial about this handsome looking guy, who rented the whole theater on their wedding anniversary, and proudly takes his wife to see their wedding movies, AND, also give her a 1000 caret diamond ring! What a crock! Stupid women who think that their bolding husband never rented a movie theater for them, or even remember their wedding anniversary at all, will be real miserable.
If she was interested we would talk about it .... perhaps when she sees taxes and such she might get more interested in it, but until then .... we talk about everything else :))
The commercial about the ring (the diamond commercials) always creeped me out b/c they had that "stalker movie" music in the background! I always figured after he gave her the ring, he was going to pull a knife or something!
LOL :-)
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