Posted on 05/11/2004 8:39:01 AM PDT by Diva Betsy Ross
Homeschool Horror Divinely ordained education, taught by martyrs
BY QUINN COTTON
You know how there are terrorist cells embedded throughout the world? Well, in my neighborhood we have numerous "homeschool" cells humming in the cul-de-sacs. They're almost as scary as the terrorist ones in some ways -- and they definitely have some traits in common with them.
When we first moved to Charlotte, the houses next to us, behind us, and diagonally across the street all contained children who mysteriously never seemed to leave home, and mothers with glazed expressions on their faces. The whole set-up of moms stuck with their school-age kids 24/7 gave me the willies, and that was before I even had one of my own.
Middle class areas seem to be magnets for little suburban schoolhouses. Even though there must be homeschooling pockets all over Charlotte, somehow I don't picture your basic Ballantyne babe risking breaking a nail on a chalkboard in the bonus room, or skipping a tennis set for an educational excursion to the sewage plant. Likewise, I doubt many Belmont moms miss a beat packing those kids off to public school. It's the middle class that gets suckered into the myth that mothers and older children can survive being together all day without somebody being strangled. The true "haves" and "have-nots" know better.
What's scary is that a lot of the homeschooling faithful are as fueled by a fanatical, religion-based belief in their mission as Islamist terrorists, and seem to be just about as brainwashed. Sometimes I even wonder if they're a manufactured race along the lines of the Stepford wives in Ira Levin's book, but assembled in fundamentalist Christian churches instead of family basements. Like the Stepford robots, they're programmed to fulfill their husbands' fantasies, only in this case it's their role as the Ultimate Selfless Mothers.
Other times I feel like the heroine in another famous horror story by Levin, Rosemary's Baby, at that chilling moment when she puts together the anagram "All of Them Witches" and realizes it refers to her seemingly harmless neighbors. Some of the homeschooling moms (HMs) are kind of witch-y, with the uncut hair and the long skirts because pants on females are unholy, but the description that really applies to this coven is "All of Them Zealots."
They're not only terrorist-like in their conviction that their calling is divinely ordained, homeschoolers also often have a broad martyr streak. Rather than suicide bombings, though, they commit "suicide book-learning," sacrificing their own lives to teach their kids. I've known one or two to get pregnant as an excuse to get out of homeschooling hell, but the true martyrs keep right on instructing, with the newest little pupil glued to their breast.
Beyond a certain age, children and mothers are just not meant to be isolated together. It's unnatural. Keeping the kids at home might have worked back in the Stone Age, but cave women would've at least had each other for company, and I bet they made damn sure the youngsters stayed off in a group together while they grunted gossip and drank their Cro-Magnon coffee.
Kids need their teachers to be adults, separate from their mothers. That way they can idolize or despise them apart from a parent figure, and don't have to depend on one person for everything they require. Did a parent of yours try to teach you to drive? How'd that go? 'Nuff said.
All young animals must be immersed in a mass of their peers so they can figure out what it means to function as a member of the larger group. Believe me, I'm aware that homeschooling families get their children together, since occasionally there'll be a flood of them from next door scrambling over the fence to play uninvited in our yard, but being with maybe a dozen other kids once in a while doesn't do the trick. It takes serious numbers for developing humans to catch on to the nuances of accepted behavior and to have a chance to make enough friends. I just can't see homeschooling providing adequate socialization.
One of my neighboring HMs taught her two kids through eighth grade, then threw them to the wolves in public high school. The boy ended up dropping out and doing jail time, and the girl got pregnant.
Yes, I know that homeschooled kids have won high-profile academic contests, but for every homeschooler who aces a spelling bee, there's some poor child being "instructed" by a parent who's barely literate herself. Teachers in the public school system are required to have certification and college degrees, yet any yahoo can force their kids to stay home as long as they pass an annual test.
What's really scary about homeschooling is what it can do to the sanity of a mother deluded into thinking it's her Christian duty. No woman was ever meant to be trapped in a house all day with children old enough to spell "homicide."
So if new neighbors move in next door and you notice that the kids never leave for school and mom wears her hair in two braids, be afraid. Be very afraid
It takes time and committment. I made the leap from employee to employer so that I could spend more time with my son, age 5. My wife is a full-time mom. He gets plenty of socialization, thankyaverymuch. He comes into my (home) office every morning to learn about stuff (planets and space, these days). I don't set up an instruction period, we just go to websites and drive the mars rover, or watch videos about planets. Next month it may be crabs, or dinosaurs, who knows.
Kids are full of learning instincts, until it gets beat out of them (as happened to me and my wife both) by public school.
Third, I may not be up to this task,
I would worry if you were sure of yourself. Since you're not, I'll bet you'll do just fine.
And it's not like you're committing to twelve years - do it until you can't manage any more.
Look at post 55 and tell me how any of that typical government school BS has anything to do with the "real world."
In the real world, people work with and become friends with other people of all different ages, rather than being segregated into age-specific groups.
In the real world, assault is punished, not ignored.
What a sorry opinion of women this person has!
Apparently the purpose of sending the kids to school is so the moms can gossip and drink coffee!
"Like the Stepford robots, they're programmed to fulfill their husbands' fantasies, only in this case it's their role as the Ultimate Selfless Mothers."
I don't know if I've ever seen you this riled! Anyhow, I thought this article was a joke at first, but even if it were there are leftist zeolots out there who feel this way. We homeschool our kids and the world this writer portrays is completely foreign to us.
How is assault ignored?? Please explain. I went through public school and so far have not been on drugs, killed anyone, voted for our President and have a successfull career.
And can you say it three-times-quickly? How about after a couple of drinks :-).
But seriously, homeschooled students in NC don't have to *pass* any tests ... they just have to take a nationally-administered test and keep the results. This is only fair, since school students don't have to pass tests, either ... just take them.
Since you agree withe the article (as you said earlier), then should I assume that you would teach your kid(s) that Homeschoolers are like terrorists?
And who here would you say is not "open-minded"?
Of course, Quinn. Do not let anyone tell you that you are intolerant and bigoted, OK? We would not want your bubble world to be popped.
Children who are homeschooled by religious parents are in good company and follow a tradition of homeschooled people, such as George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Abe Lincoln...
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