Posted on 04/24/2004 3:46:43 PM PDT by quidnunc
It's the list of the 50 Worst Rock Songs Ever — and it surely must be authoritative, because it comes from Blender magazine!
You know, BLENDER?
So I'm not the only one who doesn't read it. Good. Anyway, Blender names the worst rock hit in human history. It's "We Built This City (on Rock 'n Roll)" by Starship.
Good choice. To assert that one can build a city on rock 'n' roll is simply bad urban theory. It is safe to say that rock 'n' roll provides an insufficient means of providing the infrastructure necessary for a large urban environment. If we could take the point further, any architect will tell you that a prerequisite for skyscraper construction is a sheet of thick rock into which the steel superstructure can be anchored. If you build a city on rock 'n' roll, as opposed to schist, your buildings will simply fall over and kill thousands.
Then there's the music. Empty '80s bombast married to '60s narcissism: surefire horror. "Starship" was another incarnation of Jefferson Airplane, a trippy Haight-Ashbury remnant best known for Grace Slick droning the interminable lyrics of "White Rabbit," a song that seemed to last for the entire Nixon presidency. (Both terms.)
But worst ever? I don't think so. Every generation moves the goal posts for the Worst Song Ever. Great-Grandpa thought that "The Horseradish Rag" was the Worst Song Ever, and Grandpa couldn't hear "I'm a Flapper in a Flivver" without spitting on the ground, and so forth. Hence most of my worst songs are from the '70s — to my weary ears, the absolute nadir of pop music. That's when pop split up into several irreconcilable factions:
1. Well-produced stoner operas for dateless guys whose idea of a Friday night was sitting in a dark dorm room, wearing headphones, waiting for a girl. Or the pizza. Or maybe a girl with a pizza! OK, just the pizza. She wouldn't understand this album anyway.
-snip-
(Excerpt) Read more at startribune.com ...
YES! What a stinker, as was anything by that band was. What a travesty that at the time, the Rollers were being compared to the Beatles. The thing that kills me about that song is that it's so muddled that unlike with most pre-1982 music, I can't imagine in my own mind musicians actually playing their instruments and having that come out of them.
However -- to moi, a worse song is the Rollers' string-laden pubescent lovey-dovey mush, "The Way I Feel Tonight." Get a load of these under-the-radar lyrics that teen girls swooned to:
Not with my daughter, you plaid-wearing puke!
Close the door and turn the key
Open up your heart to me
I can see your love light glowing
Let your body melt to mine
Let us taste each other's wine
Till the cup is overflowing
I'll give a dishonorable mention to "Don't Bring Me Down" by the Electric Light Orchestra. It's not that it's among the very worst songs ever; it's just that this grating travesty came from a group that produced so much genuinely brilliant material.
I liked that song musically, but I couldn't get past "You're looking good, just like a snake in the grass/One of these days you're gonna break your glass." From beginning to end, this verse makes no sense. It's as if Jeff Lynne just improvised lyrics, figured he'd have a chance to write something literate later, and discovered that the tape had to be delivered to the label that evening.
I'm afraid you've mistook the meaning of the song, but don't feel bad. It frustrated the married couple that was Timbuk 3 also. They meant it as a slap at the apathy of the young generation, whom they perceived as the type that would have no ethical conflicts about making big bucks building nukes -- nukes that would someday be used, causing us to be blinded, except in the event that we were...wearing shades.
There is a lot of music that was inspired by the supposed inevitability of a nuclear holocaust, some of it taking dead aim at President Reagan himself. "Seconds" by U2; "Strike Zone" by Loverboy; "Hammer To Fall" by Queen; "Walking In Your Footsteps" by The Police; "Wild Wild West" by Escape Club ("Waiting for the big boom...Gotta live it up...Ronnie's got a new gun!"), "The War Song" by Culture Club, "End of The Innocence" by Don Henley ("They're beating plowshares into swords for this tired old man that we elected king") just to name a few.
Just curious...do either of you consider yourself to be ELO fans, or do you just like the song?
I can see where the song might shine in comparison with "My Sharona" or "Do You Think I'm Sexy" or "In the Navy" (other hit songs of 1979). It's just that I'm comparing it to the Prog brilliance of "Queen of the Hours", "Kuiama", "In Old England Town", "Dreaming of 4000", "Eldorado"...
Like - oh, I don't know - "Blame It On The Bossa Nova", maybe?
"Shiny, Happy People" is on the Blender list.
Red
Red
That's a bummer.
It frustrated the married couple that was Timbuk 3 also.
I got a hunch that the song's popularity might have to the preception of many that it was positive.
I remember all the anti-US/Reagan/we are going to blow up the world stuff.
Don't forget 99 Luftballoons which I actually liked. I tell lefties its a dire warning about the dangers of pointlessly symbolic acts for lefty causes.
Wanna laugh out loud? Check out Dolly Parton's disco-country version of the song.
Jethro Tull? Naw, I'm not into "heavy metal." </sarcasm...Metallica fans will understand>
Is this supposed to be the predecessor of "Fever for the Flava"?
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