James Lileks: Worst Rock Song Ever? Give This a Spin

The Minneapolis/St Paul Star Tribune ^ | April 25, 2004 | James Lileks

[blowfish]

Ah, but 'Afternoon Delight' has a nice piece of trivia:
"What musician performed for Miles Davis AND on 'Afternoon Delight' ?

[CobaltBlue]

Yeah, I liked that song, too, but it was definitely a break from my generation (which was pretty much the same generation that the Who was talkin' about.)

In 1986, Reagan was President, and we were winning the Cold War.

[djf]

Wouldn't surprise me if it was Miles himself.

It could be chock full of trivia, that will never make up for the raunch. My skin still crawls!

[-YYZ-]

"In 1986, Reagan was President, and we were winning the Cold War."

And it was an optimistic song that embraced science and technology and money in a positive way. I was in my first or second year of engineering at university. Which I subsequently dropped out of, but I resurrected it as my theme song when I returned to university.

"50 thou a year'll buy a lot of beer" :)

[L.N. Smithee]

"Saturday Night" by the Bay City Rollers

YES! What a stinker, as was anything by that band was. What a travesty that at the time, the Rollers were being compared to the Beatles. The thing that kills me about that song is that it's so muddled that unlike with most pre-1982 music, I can't imagine in my own mind musicians actually playing their instruments and having that come out of them.

However -- to moi, a worse song is the Rollers' string-laden pubescent lovey-dovey mush, "The Way I Feel Tonight." Get a load of these under-the-radar lyrics that teen girls swooned to:

---

Close the door and turn the key
Open up your heart to me
I can see your love light glowing
Let your body melt to mine
Let us taste each other's wine
Till the cup is overflowing

---

Not with my daughter, you plaid-wearing puke!

I'll give a dishonorable mention to "Don't Bring Me Down" by the Electric Light Orchestra. It's not that it's among the very worst songs ever; it's just that this grating travesty came from a group that produced so much genuinely brilliant material.

I liked that song musically, but I couldn't get past "You're looking good, just like a snake in the grass/One of these days you're gonna break your glass." From beginning to end, this verse makes no sense. It's as if Jeff Lynne just improvised lyrics, figured he'd have a chance to write something literate later, and discovered that the tape had to be delivered to the label that evening.

[L.N. Smithee]

I like that song too. I always took it as a real middle-finger waved at anti-Reagan lefties.

I'm afraid you've mistook the meaning of the song, but don't feel bad. It frustrated the married couple that was Timbuk 3 also. They meant it as a slap at the apathy of the young generation, whom they perceived as the type that would have no ethical conflicts about making big bucks building nukes -- nukes that would someday be used, causing us to be blinded, except in the event that we were...wearing shades.

There is a lot of music that was inspired by the supposed inevitability of a nuclear holocaust, some of it taking dead aim at President Reagan himself. "Seconds" by U2; "Strike Zone" by Loverboy; "Hammer To Fall" by Queen; "Walking In Your Footsteps" by The Police; "Wild Wild West" by Escape Club ("Waiting for the big boom...Gotta live it up...Ronnie's got a new gun!"), "The War Song" by Culture Club, "End of The Innocence" by Don Henley ("They're beating plowshares into swords for this tired old man that we elected king") just to name a few.

[Physicist]

Oh, and I like "Don't Bring Me Down" :-)

Just curious...do either of you consider yourself to be ELO fans, or do you just like the song?

I can see where the song might shine in comparison with "My Sharona" or "Do You Think I'm Sexy" or "In the Navy" (other hit songs of 1979). It's just that I'm comparing it to the Prog brilliance of "Queen of the Hours", "Kuiama", "In Old England Town", "Dreaming of 4000", "Eldorado"...

[1Old Pro]

Tip toe thru the tulips.

[Don Simmons]

"Losing My Religion", by R.E.M.

A song that makes no sense whatsoever (Stipe even said so himself...) performed by perhaps the single most overrated "band" in the history of popular music. Or would that title go to U2?

Wait - change that....I think "Stand" is even dumber. Also, by R.E.M.

Wait - no, I think maybe "Shiny, Happy People" by Michael Stipe (of R.E.M.) and a bunch of other shiny, happy people.

I think they're all ON THE DOPE!!!

What the hell ever happened to....(novel concept coming here)..........................GOOD, MEANINGFUL, WELL-CRAFTED FREAKIN' MUSIC??!??!??!??!?

Good lord, somebody shoot me now!

[general_re]

What the hell ever happened to....(novel concept coming here)..........................GOOD, MEANINGFUL, WELL-CRAFTED FREAKIN' MUSIC??!??!??!??!?

Like - oh, I don't know - "Blame It On The Bossa Nova", maybe?

[L.N. Smithee]

Wait - no, I think maybe "Shiny, Happy People" by Michael Stipe (of R.E.M.) and a bunch of other shiny, happy people.

"Shiny, Happy People" is on the Blender list.

[Conservative4Ever]

Ooooo that is a good one. But I gotta say. House of the Rising Sun. Every bad high school garage band played this song to death and each time it sounded worse. The original was none too great.

Red

[Conservative4Ever]

Not me...was never a fan of Fleetwood Mac to begin with.

Red

[Tribune7]

I'm afraid you've mistook the meaning of the song, but don't feel bad.

That's a bummer.

It frustrated the married couple that was Timbuk 3 also.

I got a hunch that the song's popularity might have to the preception of many that it was positive.

I remember all the anti-US/Reagan/we are going to blow up the world stuff.

Don't forget 99 Luftballoons which I actually liked. I tell lefties its a dire warning about the dangers of pointlessly symbolic acts for lefty causes.

[L.N. Smithee]

House of the Rising Sun. Every bad high school garage band played this song to death and each time it sounded worse. The original was none too great.

Wanna laugh out loud? Check out Dolly Parton's disco-country version of the song.

[petercooper]

any song by jethro tull

[TomHarkinIsNotFromIowa]

Air Supply made me turn the channel more than any other band.

[L.N. Smithee]

any song by jethro tull

Jethro Tull? Naw, I'm not into "heavy metal." </sarcasm...Metallica fans will understand>

[RightWingAtheist]

I just like the song :-) You have to admit, it's better than anything they recorded for the Xanadu soundtrack.

[RightWingAtheist]

"I'm a Flapper in a Flivver"

Is this supposed to be the predecessor of "Fever for the Flava"?