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James Lileks: Worst Rock Song Ever? Give This a Spin
The Minneapolis/St Paul Star Tribune ^
| April 25, 2004
| James Lileks
Posted on 04/24/2004 3:46:43 PM PDT by quidnunc
It's the list of the 50 Worst Rock Songs Ever and it surely must be authoritative, because it comes from Blender magazine!
You know, BLENDER?
So I'm not the only one who doesn't read it. Good. Anyway, Blender names the worst rock hit in human history. It's "We Built This City (on Rock 'n Roll)" by Starship.
Good choice. To assert that one can build a city on rock 'n' roll is simply bad urban theory. It is safe to say that rock 'n' roll provides an insufficient means of providing the infrastructure necessary for a large urban environment. If we could take the point further, any architect will tell you that a prerequisite for skyscraper construction is a sheet of thick rock into which the steel superstructure can be anchored. If you build a city on rock 'n' roll, as opposed to schist, your buildings will simply fall over and kill thousands.
Then there's the music. Empty '80s bombast married to '60s narcissism: surefire horror. "Starship" was another incarnation of Jefferson Airplane, a trippy Haight-Ashbury remnant best known for Grace Slick droning the interminable lyrics of "White Rabbit," a song that seemed to last for the entire Nixon presidency. (Both terms.)
But worst ever? I don't think so. Every generation moves the goal posts for the Worst Song Ever. Great-Grandpa thought that "The Horseradish Rag" was the Worst Song Ever, and Grandpa couldn't hear "I'm a Flapper in a Flivver" without spitting on the ground, and so forth. Hence most of my worst songs are from the '70s to my weary ears, the absolute nadir of pop music. That's when pop split up into several irreconcilable factions:
1. Well-produced stoner operas for dateless guys whose idea of a Friday night was sitting in a dark dorm room, wearing headphones, waiting for a girl. Or the pizza. Or maybe a girl with a pizza! OK, just the pizza. She wouldn't understand this album anyway.
-snip-
(Excerpt) Read more at startribune.com ...
TOPICS: Culture/Society; Extended News
KEYWORDS: badmusic; badsongs; blender; music; ohnonotagain; popculture; redstartribune; rockandorroll; rockandroll; rockmusic; schlockanddroll; waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa; worstoflists
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To: TheBigB
Styx, Foreigner, Journey, and 38 Special. What the children of today are missing.
381
posted on
04/24/2004 9:00:51 PM PDT
by
Tribune7
(Vote Toomey April 27)
To: CobaltBlue
oh. pulling out the BIG guns, eh?
*trying to recall the non-obscene non-parody version*
*failing*
*failing*
*got it*
"You Fill Up My Senses" Bob Denver
382
posted on
04/24/2004 9:01:27 PM PDT
by
King Prout
(poets and philosophers should NEVER pretend to Engineering... especially SOCIAL Engineering!)
To: dts32041; shelterguy
mercy beat "Now you know why they call it the 'mercy' (mersey) beat. After listening for twenty seconds you'll be screaming for MERCY!" --- Tom Servo, MST3K.
383
posted on
04/24/2004 9:03:23 PM PDT
by
Clemenza
("Knowledge is Good" --- Emil Faber, Founder of Faber College)
To: Tribune7
Instead they're listening to...to, um...to...
I have no idea what they're listening to.
384
posted on
04/24/2004 9:03:45 PM PDT
by
TheBigB
(FINALLY got my FReepin' profile page done! :))
To: TheBigB
I have no idea what they're listening to.For the most part .... it ain't music
385
posted on
04/24/2004 9:04:56 PM PDT
by
Optimist
(I think I'm beginning to see a pattern here.)
To: nmh
Legalizing abortion Actually we sang it to the Brothers who managed to have steady girlfriends. Our hormone and beer soaked brains were not up to the big issues like abortion.
386
posted on
04/24/2004 9:07:04 PM PDT
by
Mike Darancette
(General - Alien Army of the Right (AAOTR))
To: TheBigB
One 70s group I liked was The Sweet. I kept hummin' Little Willy during the Clinton impeachment trial.
387
posted on
04/24/2004 9:08:34 PM PDT
by
Tribune7
(Vote Toomey April 27)
To: weegee
Eric Burdon a band he called The Animals (actually totally different musicians than the original Animals) recorded Sky Pilot.Ok, then who were the original Animals? I thought Eric Burdon was with them from the beginning. Wasn't that his voice on "House of the Rising Sun"?
388
posted on
04/24/2004 9:09:03 PM PDT
by
scan58
To: scan58; weegee
Never mind...I think I read that wrong at first.
389
posted on
04/24/2004 9:12:47 PM PDT
by
scan58
To: Dr. Juris
Anything by Led Zepplinblasphemy!
390
posted on
04/24/2004 9:15:35 PM PDT
by
scan58
To: Dr. Juris
Anything by Led Zepplinblasphemy!
391
posted on
04/24/2004 9:15:50 PM PDT
by
scan58
To: FreedomCalls
Oh, I forgot about William Shatner's music! I think we have a winner!
To: nuconvert
Heh! You bastard!
To: scan58
"Been a long time since I rock and roll"
cannot bear to hear it.
A station in New Orleans changed hands, its new owners decided to pull a stunt as a "hello", and played that song NON STOP for I cannot remember how many days.
not a bad song, in itself, but after THAT kind of repetitive abuse I declare it anathema, verboten, the sin of witchcraft
394
posted on
04/24/2004 9:27:30 PM PDT
by
King Prout
(poets and philosophers should NEVER pretend to Engineering... especially SOCIAL Engineering!)
To: scan58
By the time he recorded "San Francisco Nights" and went loopy, he had a whole new backing band.
395
posted on
04/24/2004 9:29:39 PM PDT
by
weegee
(Maybe Urban Outfitters should sell t-shirts that say "Voting Democrat is for Old Dead People.")
To: right way right
<:-o
396
posted on
04/24/2004 9:34:17 PM PDT
by
nuconvert
("America will never be intimidated by thugs and assassins." ...( Azadi baraye Iran)
To: Rollee
I third both of those and add Swear to God and You're Just Too Good to be True. I was so glad to see someone else post "Midnight at the Oasis." Oh I hated that song, still do.
397
posted on
04/24/2004 9:34:37 PM PDT
by
mindspy
To: King Prout
I will agree with that. When I first got married in the late 70's , my husband and I had a very neurotic friend living with us who played Fleetwood Mac Rumours over and over and over.
398
posted on
04/24/2004 9:36:43 PM PDT
by
scan58
To: King Prout
Bob Denver's voice annoyed me sooooo much.
I thought he was actually a fairly decent actor in "Oh, God," but playing straight man to George Burns had to be a cream puff of a gig.
399
posted on
04/24/2004 9:40:23 PM PDT
by
CobaltBlue
(I think I lost my mind that summer, never to return.)
To: King Prout
John Denver, not Bob Denver. What are we thinking of.
Bob (Gilligan) Denver was cool. Do you remember him as a beatnik (Maynard G. Krebs) in Dobie Gillis? My husband just informed me that he never even heard of Dobie Gillis. No, he just looked over my shoulder and said he heard of Dobie Gillis, it was a TV show, right?
400
posted on
04/24/2004 9:43:30 PM PDT
by
CobaltBlue
(I think I lost my mind that summer, never to return.)
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