Pastor’s reaction leaves newlywed lesbians in tears

Santa Cruz Sentinel ^ | February 25, 2004 | Kurtis Alexander

[scripter]

SANTA CRUZ — When Doreen Boxer and Cynthia Zapata heard that "power of love" was the theme of this month’s services at the Santa Cruz Bible Church, the recently married gay couple thought their search for a new place of worship might have been guided by a divine hand.

"What a coincidence — we were honoring our love at a time they were celebrating love’s power," said Boxer. "It seemed like God had sent us to this church."

Little did Boxer and her partner of seven years know that their Feb. 15 attendance at the church on Frederick Street would demonstrate just how emotionally charged the issue of same-sex marriage is on both sides of the debate.

The service would leave the Santa Cruz couple humiliated and the well-intentioned church ministry struggling to respectfully affirm its beliefs.

The couple’s faith-testing experience began when, during the Sunday service, the Bible Church initiated a seemingly harmless Valentine’s week contest to honor the longest-wed couple in attendance as well as the most recently wed couple.

After a husband and wife of more than 50 years of marriage were recognized by the congregation with a dinner for two at Ristorante Italiano, it was time for Boxer and Zapata to enter the newlywed fray and compete for their free dinner.

The bid from the pulpit summoned couples of three years or less to rise to their feet, according to church attendees. Several couples stood until the window of time was dropped and couples began returning to their seats.

Boxer and Zapata, who were married in San Francisco just two days before the church service, were soon the only ones standing. But rather than being greeted with accolades, the couple was met with an uncomfortable pause as the contest moderator proceeded to confer with church leaders on whether to acknowledge a lesbian couple and give them the award, according to parishioners.

"It was so awkward," said Elena Steeves, who has been attending Santa Cruz Bible Church on and off for 15 years. Steeves vows never to return after that Sunday’s events.

"I felt so bad for them, and personally I felt betrayed," she said.

Dixon said the moments she and Zapata were left standing in front of the congregation as the ministry deliberated their fate were among the most hurtful in her life. She went from experiencing the joy of her recent matrimony, she said, to a shame she had never felt before.

"By the end of the service, we were both in tears," Dixon said.

David Gschwend, executive pastor, said the experience was trying for him, too.

"Our position is that we don’t support gay marriage, but at the same time I didn’t want to make a scene. ... I didn’t want to hurt them," he said.

After the private consultation among church leaders, which Dixon said went on for what seemed like three minutes, she and Zapata were awarded the dinner certificate. But not without qualification.

Gschwend rose before the congregation and condemned gay marriage.

"By some people in our church, (the award) was misinterpreted," he said, explaining that he needed to make clear where the church stood on the issue.

The teary-eyed Dixon and Zapata left the church that day, pledging never to return but seemingly unfazed in their religious conviction.

"I prayed to God to take away my anger and my hurt feelings, and He’s done that," Dixon said.

Gschwend has since extended an invitation to meet with the couple, and, if not offer an apology, find some level of understanding between them.

"At least I want to look them in the eye and tell them they have value and dignity," he said.

Dixon, who said she and Zapata intend to take advantage of the church’s dinner offer when they get some free time, said the pastor is unlikely to get that opportunity.

"We know where each of us stands. It seems like there’s really nothing left to say."

[scripter]

This is my old church... and is more fallout from the SF fiasco. I used to be the head usher at this church and had to escort a couple of guys out one time. It was a difficult task but necessary as they were disrupting the entire service.

We'll probably see more of the same...

[scripter]

Ping

[billorites]

I feel bad for everyone involved.

It's cruel to raise expectations that aren't likely to be met.

[isthisnickcool]

How "sad". Those gals should have got themselves out the church door "licket-d-split".

[scripter]

So do I. Still I can't believe the lesbian couple actually thought the church would recognize their marriage.

[Luke Skyfreeper]

I don't reeeeeeeaaaaally think that was a realistic expectation on their part.

[claudiustg]

They can go over the hill to my old church. It's the one with the "Rainbow Fish" posted on the sign right out front.

http://www.cgslutheranchurch.org/page2.html

[little jeremiah]

Homosexual Agenda Ping - Ping me if anyone wants to be added or subtracted from this ping list.

Wow, scripter - your old church. I wouldn't be surprised if we will indeed see more of this. Homosexual activists have zero tolerance for diverse viewoints.

It's obvious these female homosexuals knew what they were doing. They were making a political statement. Probably practiced in front of the mirror first. You have to practice to cry for theatrical effect.

[lady lawyer]

They deliberately put these poor people on the spot. Damn activists. They have no "marriage," legally or otherwise. They just have to get in people's faces.

[maro]

"Bible Church"--most of these are nondenom evangelical churches. The gals probably knew what to expect. They could have gone to an Episcopal church. Sounds like a stunt to make a point.

[Humidston]

I smell LAWSUIT!!

[WorkingClassFilth]

""Our position is that we don’t support gay marriage, but at the same time I didn’t want to make a scene. ... I didn’t want to hurt them," he said.'

MAKE A SCENE, DAVE. THEY AIN'T MARRIED AND THEY DON'T QUALIFY. IF YOU CAN'T TELL YOUR RIGHT HAND FROM YOUR LEFT, CAN I COME TO YOUR CHURCH AND COMPETE FOR A FREE MEAL IN THE COMPANY OF MY BITCH RETRIEVER, A TURKEY BASTER AND A DOOR KNOB?

[CounterCounterCulture]

Pastor's Reaction Leaves Newlywed Lesbians in Tears

[Cindy]

KEY SENTENCE: "She went from experiencing the joy of her recent matrimony, she said, to a shame she had never felt before."

UNDERSTANDING WHY THIS SENTENCE IS IMPORTANT: Political Correctness and tolerance of sin knows no shame. With that in mind, no wonder the lesbians were surprised.

[TheBattman]

"What a coincidence — we were honoring our love at a time they were celebrating love’s power," said Boxer. "It seemed like God had sent us to this church."

You know - He may very well have sent you to that church. Too bad you chose to harden your hearts and ignore the message presented.....

"I prayed to God to take away my anger and my hurt feelings, and He’s done that," Dixon said.

Maybe "she" should start by praying for God's forgiveness for choosing the lifestyle she has and begging for her Salvation from her sinful lifestyle and a deliverence from homosexuality.

[King Prout]

"It seemed like God had sent us to this church."

Maybe that is exactly what happened, only you didn't like the message He desired to make clear to you?

[beaversmom]

I think when they heard about the power of love month they also heard about the free dinner. I notice they weren't so offended that they gave up the meal.

[commish]

AWWW poor babies, I am heart broken for them. really. I truly am. I am so choked up I can't type right now. LIKE HELL I AM!

Gee, I hope that wasn't too insensitive of me. I can never tell.

[beaversmom]

Excellent point! Hey, but they got a free meal.

[scripter]

Probably not, but that's normal for the liberal rag (Sentinel) to spin it that way. Well, it's normal for just about every newspaper today...