Non-Smoker In Training, Daily Journal

my own personal Hell | 21OCT03 | King Prout

[King Prout]

A net-buddy of mine was recently diagnosed with non-small-cell lung cancer in the upper lobe of his right lung: stage 3a, locally metastatic, possibly operable, possibly terminal. His odds are not good. He is 53, married. He has been a 2-pack/day smoker for 30 years. I -and others- have begun sending him surplus cash to help him and his wife keep beans on the table and a roof overhead as he pursues treatment. Something about the situation struck me as beautifully symmetric: I smoke, spending about $30.00 every two weeks on cigarettes; I intend to send him at least that amount every two weeks. In order to do so, I have decided to cease purchasing cigarettes. De facto, this means I am quitting. I have smoked for some 12 years. This will be interesting. I'll be posting daily notes here as this goes on. Today is Day 4 of no cigarettes.

[No Blue States]

Im still pulling for you, and preparing myself mentally to join you as a former smoker soon. (this weekend)

[King Prout]

Hang in there and there will come a time when you will observe someone smoking and maybe catch a whiff of their smoke, and you'll wonder how you ever used to do that.

I'm already there.
A patient came in to the clinic this morning reeking of smoke, and I almost gagged.
I really doubt I ever stank that bad, being fond of bathing, clean clothes, and oral hygeine, but... damn!
I understand what you mean about smokes "going with" other activities. I started cutting back on smoking years ago, by sharply limiting where and when I could smoke. It was a roayal pain, but by taking it one activity at a time I was able to cross them all off the list, except for long drives. I recommend trying that process, and being patient with yourself.
Good luck.

[King Prout]

the threes are a good system, and if I need to use it I will.
So far, my vanity about my given word (which I am certain you recall as being profoundly developed) has sufficed.
I'm glad you quit.
Did it for your lovely wife, yes?
Motivation always helps.

[King Prout]

Best wishes for your efforts.
Don't get too harsh on yourself, though.
It is a big badass monkey, and that's no lie.
Maintain a focus on your reasons for quitting, and do not accept those cute little rationalizations your cravings will spur.
It can be beat, if you are willing to swing the bat.

[meyer]

I quit cold-turkey 21 months ago - January 2, 2002. It was really hard for the first week, but then it got gradually easier. But throughout the first year, I'd occasionally get a strange craving for a 'butt'.

Things to watch out for - your mood may become a bit irritable for the first few months. I've jokingly referred to cigarettes as the 'poor man's prozac', but there is some withdrawel to the nicotine that takes some time to work through. If you find yourself too irritable, see the doc - you can get Zyban or Wellbutrin (same drug, different name) if needed. My sister went that route when she quit. I chose to relieve the mental pressure through road rage instead. :) (OK, j/k sort of).

Good luck and keep at it. You'll be fully quit before you know it.

[dyed_in_the_wool]

Did it for your lovely wife, yes?

I did it for her, yes.
I did it because I got crap at Dan Kelly's wedding from the event manager.
I did it for my daughter.
I did it for my health.
And I did it for the $$$ I saved which I then plowed into a mutual fund which has a TON of Philip Morris stock.

[King Prout]

Day 5, lunchtime:
This morning passed remarkably smoothly. No real cravings. My level of hostility is declining. I think eating a heavy breakfast helped - protein heavy foods usually take the edge off for me anyway.
I have been tired and sleepy all morning, perhaps due to the poor rest I got last night. I am piling on the coffee to counteract the drowsiness.
I have a low-grade headache, not bad enough for aspirin yet. Might be due to the coffee load, as coffee tends to cause mild dehydration. Not bad enough to worry about at the moment.
I just bought some more gum. Orbit. Wintergreen flavor - whatever they call it (winter mint? how gay.) I swear, though, I was stunned by the sudden urge to buy a pack of smokes. It was a rush similar in many respects to strong lust. Pretty disgusting, actually.

Update on Dean: His biopsy results came in yesterday. He has Squamous cell carcinoma, 3a, mets to surrounding lymph tissues in the affected lobe of the right lung.
If I were in his shoes, I'd be looking for an immediate surgical solution.
He thanks you all for your prayers.

[No Blue States]

"do not accept those cute little rationalizations your cravings will spur"

Very good advice, i will definately remember it.

Praying for Dean. (also my brothers name, a smoker)

Thanks for the inspiration ive mooched from your own determined committment to succeed at this. As well as the thread itself which provided a place for the testimonies of other smokers who have overcame, and the encouragement that provides.

[meyer]

Day 5, lunchtime: (deleted)

You're doing good, King. Beleive it or not, you've passed through those nasty 3 days. There will still be cravings - they will be strong, but as time passes, they will be weaker and of shorter duration.

This may be a good time to take up some kind of exercise routine - I don't know your physical condition, but walking, bicycling, or jogging will all help clean out your lungs and restore your endurance. Exercise was one of the tools that I used to stay quit.

BTW, prayers for your friend Dean. I hope he and his docs choose the best path and have the most possible success in treating the cancer.

[King Prout]

Day 6 is now done, for which I thank God.
Yesterday was unexpectedly easy. No cravings, no irritability, not much discomfort.
I thought I was over the hump.
Boy... was I wrong.
I awoke this morning mad at the world.
I stayed that way through to lunchtime.
There's this one hen in the office who just cannot shut the #*&^ up to save her life. I mean it. If she ever fell quiet for five contiguous waking minutes... it'd be the first time she did so in her entire life. I spent most of the morning muttering "STFU" through gritted teeth like an evil mantra. I almost bit my employer's head off over some minor paperwork she's been letting slide. Fortunately the good Doctor just grinned and said "Detox sucks, huh?" and got the paperwork cleared up before heading out to the remote clinic.
I caqnnot remember being this generally cranky.
If PMS is anything like this, I am once again *SO* glad to be 23xy.
This morning was vile... and I really wanted to suck down a carton or two. I didn't, but damn I sure wanted to.
After clocking out for lunch, I wolfed some grub and went out and rode my horse for a while. That took the edge off.
The afternoon was much better than the morning.
Not great, but better.
Worked late, ate a hurried supper, watched CSI.
Logged in to put this update in, but got sidetracked (FR does do that, don't it?)
Tired now. Shower, then bed.
Tomorrow will be better. Fridays are halfdays, and there is this big damn doe with a great big bullseye on her forehead waiting on a date with me and my rifle...

[Hillary's Lovely Legs]

Keep going, and remember, we are all pulling for you!

[gtech]

I'm still following this thread. Sorry you had a bad day, but maybe you can use it as motivation. You'll be through with this soon, but if you give in you'll have to go through it ALL over again someday. You might as well stick it out now.

[Aracelis]

If PMS is anything like this, I am once again *SO* glad to be 23xy.

ROFL! Hang in there, and thanks...you're giving me the inspiration to quit.

[at bay]

For those that believe their word is their bond, maybe you have the best quitting method yet. I am nothing more than my word. I remember the words of a family friend, a thoracic surgeon who retired early, his life's work, in his opinion, an exercise in futility. "I got tired of operating on people who were going to die anyway" he said, firing up his pottery wheel. Thinking about it, the pitch "Well, there's only a one per cent chance this surgery will work" probably anyone would take the shot, why not?

Hopefully your friend will be the exception. My father beat bladder cancer which is only 10 per cent beatable. Advances in surgical techniques make surgery circa 1980 look like butchery. Kick an animal,(not too hard) or take down some game. You are going to make it, you have my word on it.

[King Prout]

I seem to be clear of the worst of it at this point.
Of course, I haven't put it to the real test: social interactions with which smoking has been closely linked in my past.

[King Prout]

best of luck with your effort.
it ain't easy, but it ain't impossible, either.

[King Prout]

why on earth was FreedomMan's post 92 deleted?

[King Prout]

oh, banned. nevermind.

[Veracious Poet]

I quit cold-turkey in 1988 and stayed smoke-free until 2000...after living in NYC for 3 years I think anyone would start smoking again...lol! ;-)

Well, I just quit again (this time for good) I went from Marlboro Ultra-lights to Quest #1 to Quest #2 and smoked a couple of Quest #3 (those things will make anyone quit).

I didn't wait until I wanted to quit...I started weaning myself off the nicotine, at 42 I need to get in the gym and start taking care of myself again.

Good luck all on giving up the Nico-monster.