Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Snappy comebacks and one liners
strangecosmos

Posted on 01/07/2002 3:33:12 PM PST by damnlimey

1) Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

2) The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.

3) I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

4) Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

5) I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn.

6) I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.

7) What am I? Flypaper for freaks?

8) I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

9) I'm already visualizing the masking tape over your mouth.

10)Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.

11) I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

12) It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.

13) Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.

14) No, my powers can only be used for good.

15) How about never? Is never good for you?

16) I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.

17) You sound reasonable...Time to up my medication.

18) I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

19) I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.

20) I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

21) Who me? I just wander from room to room.

22) My toys! My toys! I can't do this job without my toys!

23) It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy.

24) At least I have a positive attitude about my destructive habits.

25) You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

26) I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

27) Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.

28)I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.

29)Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, "Where the heck is the ceiling?!"

30)My reality check bounced.

31)On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.


TOPICS: Miscellaneous; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS:
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-2021-4041-6061-70 next last
To: billhilly
brtt
21 posted on 01/07/2002 4:09:49 PM PST by oyez
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 20 | View Replies]

To: damnlimey
Boy...your mother must have done a number on you.
22 posted on 01/07/2002 4:13:08 PM PST by freedomtrail
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: damnlimey

I would have gone to work today, but a voice told me
to stay home and clean my guns.

 

23 posted on 01/07/2002 4:14:32 PM PST by Deep_6
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: damnlimey
don rickles where are you??

watched 'kelly's heroe's' last night and rickles and another guy got blasted by the nazi outhouse.
after digging out and running into the guy named 'cowboy', he says 'phee-yeww, you guys smell like you just came out of a dung heap'!
rickles comes back with: 'kinda makes you feel at home, don't it'?

it-shay appens-hay!

24 posted on 01/07/2002 4:15:24 PM PST by rockfish59
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: HockeyPop
On brain cells:

"The brain in your head is like a BB rolling around in a boxcar."

25 posted on 01/07/2002 4:19:28 PM PST by Looking4Truth
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 16 | View Replies]

To: damnlimey
A quote from George S. Kaufman, to a babbling young dinner companion that he was stuck sitting next to:

"Madame, do you have any unexpressed thoughts?"

26 posted on 01/07/2002 4:21:39 PM PST by Lizavetta
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: rockfish59
"I'm drinking some wine, eating some cheese, and catching some rays, you know..."
27 posted on 01/07/2002 4:26:10 PM PST by tacticalogic
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 24 | View Replies]

To: KayEyeDoubleDee
Least my mom was smart enough to increase her price with inflation. Your's is still at 25 cents
28 posted on 01/07/2002 4:30:54 PM PST by Texaggie79
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 19 | View Replies]

To: oyez
gore/loserman 2000 bumper stickers for sale
29 posted on 01/07/2002 4:33:22 PM PST by veryconernedamerican
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 21 | View Replies]

To: veryconernedamerican
sorry sore/loserman
30 posted on 01/07/2002 4:33:45 PM PST by veryconernedamerican
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 29 | View Replies]

To: damnlimey
"Not only have you hit rock bottom, but have taken a pick and shovel and started digging."
31 posted on 01/07/2002 4:34:32 PM PST by antienvironmentalist
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: antienvironmentalist
oh ya! that was one of my ad campaigns "rates have hit rock bottom"
32 posted on 01/07/2002 4:35:50 PM PST by veryconernedamerican
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 31 | View Replies]

To: veryconernedamerican
How about a coversation between Nancy Astor and Winston Churchill.

Nancy: "Winston, if I was your wife, I would poison your coffee."

Winston: "Nancy, If I was your husband, I would drink it."

33 posted on 01/07/2002 4:38:43 PM PST by antienvironmentalist
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 32 | View Replies]

To: oyez
brtt???
34 posted on 01/07/2002 4:44:53 PM PST by billhilly
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 21 | View Replies]

To: damnlimey
bump
35 posted on 01/07/2002 4:52:52 PM PST by Wordsmith
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: tacticalogic
'woof, woof'
36 posted on 01/07/2002 4:58:58 PM PST by rockfish59
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 27 | View Replies]

To: College Repub
do they have dollar bill slots yet?
37 posted on 01/07/2002 5:00:00 PM PST by rockfish59
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 14 | View Replies]

To: damnlimey
I don't care what everyone else says, I don't think you're insane.....
38 posted on 01/07/2002 5:00:58 PM PST by WhyisaTexasgirlinPA
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: tacticalogic
my boss used to tell the one dimwit at work:

'when god gave out brains, you went up to him with a strainer'!

39 posted on 01/07/2002 5:01:26 PM PST by rockfish59
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 5 | View Replies]

To: rockfish59
My dad used to tell my brother and I

"You could screw up a ball bearing in a bucket of grease!"

40 posted on 01/07/2002 5:04:34 PM PST by tacticalogic
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 39 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-2021-4041-6061-70 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson