Satan joins the Moonies!

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Satan Joins The Moonies! ~Sun Myung Moon has often said that he came to restore everything that was lost. Man fell from the beginning, Moon says, Satan had a sexual relationship with Eve and sin entered the world, passed down through the lineage so that all are born as children of Satan rather than children of God. The Moonies are passionate about their belief that All will eventually be saved. Including Satan himself. Well, Moon's job to restore satan has suddenly become much easier: Satan Has Joined The Moonies! Satan Works For Moon Now! ~Right about now, some of you must think I am joking or something. Right? Well, I'm not! Recently, Moon claimed that Satan has repented of his historic sins, and even wrote a letter to God and Rev. Moon (This is what Moon actually claims!) and in the letter Satan said he was sorry for his sins. He also promised to start working hard for Rev. Moon from now on. Well, sadly Rev. Moon has not made very much progress in saving the world with only God on his side, but now that Satan has joined the team, maybe that will change? Here is a direct quote from Moon where he claims Satan has repented and is now working for the Moonies: Excerpted from: SUN MYUNG MOON LEADERS' MEETING May 1, 1996 East Garden Translator Peter Kim This is the way we can liberate Hell. Hell on the Earth and in the spiritual world will be liberated. You are presently residing in the physical hell of your physical body. How can we liberate this physical hell and then the spiritual hell? Now Grandmother Hong and Heung Jin Nim are working together to liberate hell in the spiritual world. They mobilized the fallen Archangel Lucifer. Even Lucifer has repented and confessed and is now being used to work to liberate all those evil spirits in this physical world as well as the spiritual world. Satan had repented Moon said. And so it was only right that Moon forgive satan and welcome him back into the family of God. Isn't it comforting for you to know that Satan is actually your friend and co-worker now? In a transcript of a prayer found on a Unification News Website in Korea, Moon had a little more to say about Satan, and he said it in a prayer to God: Excerpted from: True Parent's Prayer You gave Satan a chance to indemnify the faults that he committed. He did not love humanity as God's children but rather stole them from God and turned them against Him. The time when God could command Satan to correct his wrongs and clean up the fallen lineage came when God gave him the ultimatum on March 21. Satan apologized to God and claimed he would support Him to create the ideal garden of love. He confessed all his sins before True Parents to be forgiven. He confessed and apologized all he had done wrong to humanity. Please, Heavenly Father, take pity on him as he is asking for forgiveness from You and True Parents. As we, True Parents, unify heaven and earth, we bring peace between God and Satan and establish unity between God, Satan and humanity. We combined that unity into one single lineage of God. Well, what can you say? Satan is even more than a friend now. In the words above, Moon has basically called him "family". Are you sure you members really want to stay in the Unification Church at this point? You Can Safely Follow Satan! ~Satan and Moon have not just recently met, by the way. Oh no. They have been in quite a long term relationship. In fact, Moon has had some pretty fascinating (and bizzare) things to say about Satan over the years. He told his early followers that they could safely follow Satan. That's right. He told them that as long as they were sincere in following Satan, that Satan would not be able to handle their sincerity and he would eventually bring them to God himself. So, follow Satan, and he will bring you to God. I wonder what some of Moon's paid Christian Ministers would think about this guidance from Moon? Probably they wouldn't care, as those participating with Moon, do so because they share the same God: Money. Here is an excerpt that comes from a book by one of Moon's earliest followers, Won Pil Kim: Excerpted from: Won Pil Kim Father's Course and our Life of Faith Chapter 3 - Mistakes I'd like to tell you another story. Already 30 or 40 years before Father went up to North Korea there were religious groups there which had been prepared to welcome the Second Advent. Father visited one of them. One day he said to them: "If you believe Satan's word completely and absolutely to the end as God's word and if you attend him, even Satan will take you to God." Suppose you believe, learn and practice Satan's word completely and actually you attend Satan, Satan won't take you to himself but to God. Do you understand clearly? I'll explain it, taking an example. Take one brother -- Mr. Tanahashi. Now here is another brother who believes in and attends Mr. Tanahashi very much. But this brother has a misunderstanding that Mr. Tanahashi is John. He has a firm conviction that he is attending John, even though he is actually attending Mr. Tanahashi. Then is Mr. Tanahashi happy or not? Satan knows why people are attending him: they mistake Satan for God and attend him just as earnestly as they attend God. They listen to Satan's words absolutely. Then Satan can't make them his own since they believe completely that they are attending God, not Satan. Therefore Satan thinks they should go to God, not to him; Satan leads them to God. Suppose we happen to believe and follow even Satan's word as God's word; as long as we believe and follow it completely, we'll be led to God not to Satan. Father had this much faith -- it's incredible, isn't it? It's not "incredible", it's disgusting. And stupid too. The Bible says that Satan is a liar and a murderer, but Sun Myung Moon knows better than the Bible, and he is convinced that though Satan lies and murders, Satan would never be able to handle sincerity, and would politely bring people to the real God. Actually, it is not all that surprising that Moon would be so close to Satan. They have alot in common. The name Lucifer (who became Satan) actually means "Light Bearer". And interestingly, Moon's name "Sun Myung Moon" means: "Shining Truth". But the Bible also shares that Lucifer (satan) is an angel that disguises himself as light, and appears as light, but that in actuality, he is a liar and deceiver. The Bible calls satan: "That Ancient Serpent", and "The Dragon". Similarly, Moon's name "Sun Myung Moon" (Shining Truth) is not the name he was born with. Moon changed his name when he decided to pretend to be the messiah. Moon's real name is: "Young Myung Moon" which means: SHINING DRAGON in Korean. Hmmm....no wonder Moon loves Satan so much?     STRANGE BUT TRUE - SECTION Moon & Houdini Moon's African Son? Moon's "Spiritual" Mistresses Moonie Science Satan Joins The Moonies Moon Marries Jesus, and Hitler and...   HOME

[Corin Stormhands]

I simply object to your lies...

I'm not lying when I say that I believe Mormonism is heresy.

Feel free to search for where I've said more than that.

[Revelation 911]

Pius arrogance is not what America is about.

The one true church of jesus christ and the latter day saints may disagree

Check with brother illbay

[drstevej]

I hereby nominate you as the official Free Republic mascot ...

A mascot is a symbol for an institution and who better exemplifies FR's current approach to the religious forum than you, Illbay (FRmascot).

[Alex Murphy]

A mascot is a symbol for an institution and who better exemplifies FR's current approach to the religious forum than you, Illbay (FRmascot).

And I humbly submit the slogan:

Got Ill?

[ksen]

Of course that's just my observation.

Whew! I thought you were stepping over the line until I read that part.

[ksen]

...that means I'm Anti-Homo Sapiens.

All this and a Homophobe too?

What?.......oh, nevermind.

[Alex Murphy]

All this and a Homophobe too?

Hmmm. Having observed his new & improved Profile page, where he says "If you're a girl, I'm really cute. If you're a gay male, I'm not", I can't say. I presume he's saying that straight males will find him "really cute", too?

I wonder if his wife has observed his Profile page.

[Elsie]

Sun Myung Moon has often said that he came to restore everything that was lost.

WHAT?!

Doesn't he KNOW that Joseph Smith ALREADY DID THAT!?!?!?!

---

(But, by their [you know who I mean] own admission, revelation can just keep coming, Moon IS restoring even stuff that JS and BY, ETAL hadn't gotten!)

[Elsie]

Got Ill?

[JesseShurun]

this is on the ill's home page?

[Alex Murphy]

See for yourself.

[JesseShurun]

Noooo... I'm not venturing into that little rat warren, thanks though

[restornu]

That's funny!

Don't any of you people laugh?

So is Elsie home page funny?
See for yourself!

[JesseShurun]

We’d like to know a little bit about you for our files
We’d like to help you learn to help yourself
Look around you, all you see are sympathetic eyes
Stroll around the grounds until you feel at home
(Hey hey hey – hey hey hey)

Hide it in a hiding place where no one ever goes
Put it in your pantry with your cupcakes
It’s a little secret, just the Robinson’s affair
Most of all you’ve got to hide it from the kids

Coo coo ca choo, Mrs. Robinson

Sitting on a sofa on a Sunday afternoon
Going to the candidates’ depate
Laugh about it, shout about it
When you’ve got to choose
Ev’ry way you look at it you lose

Where have you gone, Joe DiMaggio?
A nation turns its lonely eyes to you
(Woo woo woo)
What’s that you say, Mrs. Robinson
‘Joltin Joe’ has left and gone away?
(Hey hey hey – hey hey hey)

[Alex Murphy]

That's funny! Don't any of you people laugh?

It's in poor taste, given his marital status. Does Illbay's wife know he's advertising? Illbay's not exactly "young" anymore (and neither is his wife, I'd guess). Why does he want young girls to find him really cute? Sorry, but I don't think any married man should give his wife any reason to think he's not fully committed to honoring his marraige vows. Nor do I think he should lead her to believe he's not attracted to her anymore. I would hope this is just a joke, but I'd think it would be offensive to his wife, not to mention offensive (what else is new?) to "gay males".

Most importantly, does his wife think it's funny? That's really all I need to know.

[JesseShurun]

You will go to the moonies
You'll probably be heading there soonies
Someday flowers will grow there
But first you've got to go there
Oh, You will go to the moonies
There are quakers there, maybe they're earth quakers,,
(ooo, you gonna get it)

You will live in the stars
Your backyard will probably be Mars
You will ride a crater scooter
And eat off your computer with the built-in censor, ooh
Oh you will live in the stars

(All)
Your stellar smile will always beam
Knowing you're home and home to stay
And you'll look down upon the earth
And say, "I can't believe we ever lived that way!"


You will go to the moonies
There's plans for a hotel and a lagoon
You'll be savoring a star fruit
And kicking off your moonboot
Oh you will go to the moonies

Hey, you will go to the moonies
A paradise to rival Cancun coo coo choo
And one side's always sunny
You'll be raking in the money
Oh you get paid by the moonies

(All)
It's been our most abiding dream
And a dream is an easy sell
And when the tourists come in droves
You'll be the big cheese on that orbiting rondelle

(Eckleburd sings solo)
You will go to the moonies
Daring pioneers will call the looney tunies

(vocal solo)

(Jesse)
Take it home...

Ah someday flowers will grow there
But first you got to go there
Oh you will go to the moonies
I'm gonna tell ya, you will go to the moonies
One more! You will go to the moonies!

[restornu]

Just to let you know I choose not to be a part of my pop generation!

I was incline towards Classical Music, History and Religion. Had no interest or desire in being inappropriate!

[restornu]

I did not take it to be serious, he was just being funny!

[JesseShurun]

Your Good Girl's Gonna Go Bad

By TAMMY WYNETTE

I've never seen the inside of a bar room
Or listened to a jukebox all night long
But I see these are the things that bring you pleasure
So I'm gonna make some changes in our home

I've heard it said, if you cant beat 'em, join 'em
So if that's the way you've wanted me to be
I'll change if it takes that to make you happy
From now on you're gonna see a different me

Because your goo-oo-ood girl's a-gonna go bad
I'm gonna be the swingin'-est swinger you've ever had
If you like 'em painted up, powdered up
Then you oughta be gla-ad
'Cause your goo-oo-ood girl's a-gonna go bad

I'll even learn to like the taste of whisky
In fact you'll hardly recognize your wife
I'll buy some brand new clothes and dress up fancy
For my journey to the wilder side of life

Because your goo-oo-ood girl's a-gonna go bad
I'm gonna be the swingin'-est swinger you've ever had
If you like 'em painted up, powdered up
Then you oughta be gla-ad
'Cause your goo-oo-ood girl's a-gonna go bad

Oh yeah, your goo-oo-ood girl's a-gonna go bad

[Dr. Eckleburg]

Eckleburg sings solo

Only if you want to empty the place.

I do dance like the wind, however.