Posted on 11/23/2002 5:07:20 PM PST by Ex-Wretch
Mal. 2:16 For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously.
Jesus told the woman at the well (John 4:18). John the Baptist told Herod (Matt. 14:4). Up until as recently as 50 years ago, divorce and remarriage was well acknowledged as adultery. What has changed? It hasn’t been the Word of God!
The Word of God is quick and, sharper than a two-edged sword! Those who fear God and are led by the Holy Spirit are able to rightly divide and properly discern it. These are they which obey, rebuke, admonish and exhort one another in this sin-sick world. And likewise, they who do not obey (sinners), will take scripture and twist it to their liking so as to “justify” their disobedience and desire for pleasure. They wrest God’s word to agree with their sin. This is basic denial and, the selling of one’s soul for a mess of pottage. And, the biggest offenders today not only commit the sin but teach it and preach it from the pulpit. Woe unto these blind guides! Satan knows the Word of God. He used it to tempt Jesus into “justifying” comfort, disobedience and sin.
Matt. 19:6 “Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.”
It is God that joins a man and a woman’s hearts together when they, without guile or deceit, vow before Him to bind themselves unto death. Courts only serve the purpose of providing legal witness that two people have voluntarily contracted under the laws of the state … not the laws, commands and precepts of God.
Matt. 6:31,32 “It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement: But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.”
Matt. 16:18, “Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery.”
Some will say “doesn’t God forgive the adultery”? Most certainly. He also commands that it be repented of. That means turning away from it. God’s forgiveness is conditioned on our repentance. Jesus said that both he/she who divorces/remarries and him/her that has been divorced/remarried “committeth” adultery. That means that it is not just a one-time past sin but an ongoing sin. A person in a divorced/remarried state is living in a continual state of sin! A one-time forgiveness does not clear your continual sin. It must be forsaken! The adulterous connection must be broken! To choose one’s own way instead of God’s holy command is presumptuous at best and fatal at worst.
Matt. 19:8 “Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.”
John 4:17,18 The woman answered and said, “I have no husband.” Jesus said unto her, “Thou hast well said, I have no husband: For thou hast had five husbands; and he whom thou now hast is not thy husband: in that saidst thou truly.”
Just like the scribes and Pharisees, others will say that the Old Testament, via Moses, allowed divorce and remarriage. Still, what does the Lord Jesus say? Only because your hearts were so hard and your ways were so carnal. If Moses hadn’t allowed you to separate you would have killed each other! (paraphrasing) But where, may I ask, is Jesus’ approval of divorce and remarriage? You won’t find it because he never gave it!
Matt. 6:12 “And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.”
Matt. 6:14,15 “For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”
Mark 10:27 And Jesus looking upon them saith, “With men it is impossible, but not with God: for with God all things are possible.”
Still, many will say “if the wife or husband is unfaithful then the marriage covenant has been broken and the innocent party is free to divorce and remarry”. Is that so? What does “for better or for worse” mean if not this? If, after coming to a saving relationship with Christ, you fall and sin, is He free to divorce you? Are we not to emulate our Lord? Isn’t this what being Christ-like is all about? Of course it hurts to be cheated on! Yet, if we do not forgive as He forgives us, we have the full assurance of His Word that our heavenly Father will not forgive us! Is hanging on to your hurt and bitterness worth eternal damnation? Forgive. Forget. Surrender all to Jesus. Be healed. Seventy times seven.
Proverbs 25:28 He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down, and without walls.
Yes, marriage is a picture of Christ and His church. Jesus is the head and we are the body. The man is to be the head but, he is to be under Jesus as Head. He is to provide for his wife and direct the family as he also submits to the guidance and direction of the Lord. Just as he expects his wife to yield unto him, he must also yield unto Christ. If he will not submit to the Lordship of Jesus Christ in his life, he cannot even govern his own life righteously.
Mark 9:23 Jesus said unto him, “If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth.”
And to those who say “it is too hard” or “unnatural” to live alone without a mate, well, Jesus proved it was possible to abstain from sex. Isn’t God’s grace enough to keep you? It’s enough to save you but not enough to keep you from sinful sexual relations?
Matt. 19:12 “For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.”
And what if your spouse has divorced you? Even if it was for Christ’s sake? How are we to live then? Is it possible to live a life holy and pleasing unto the Lord when all that is natural screams out for the companionship and affection of a mate? Remember friend, our dear Lord was also fashioned after a man and was in all points tempted as we are. He died and rose again so that we could have power in this life over sin, the devil and the flesh! We are to walk as he walked. Yes! It is possible to be delivered and kept from yielding to the carnal lusts and live in victory over sin!
Phil. 4:13 “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.”
I divorced an unfaithful husband who was also beating me. Are you saying God expected me to stay married to him and just forgive him? Am I understanding what you mean?
I haven't been involved in any Baptist Church that would allow that. There may be some however, but certainly not the ones I have gone too. I am surprised that the Nazarene Church does allow it. Not that I think it is wrong, just surprised!
Sorry, I see that you were already asked that question. I was still reading through the thread.
My standards? Try Jesus' standards. Your problem is the same as Eve's. She didn't fear God either.
Why would you purposely go against the Lord's command? Because it feels good? I guess if your "happiness" is all that matters to God ... but, don't be deceived. God is not mocked. What you have sown you will also reap. Obedience or, Disobedience. There is a way that seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death.
* technicality here. Was your first marriage union a right marriage (i.e. was it the first marriage for both parties)? If not, then if it was your first, but not his, then in God's eyes you were in adultery(a civil union but not a godly union). Thus if you were divorced from the first union and remarried to someone who had not been married before, then , the marriage you are in now is a right marriage.
If it was life threatening, separating from him was probably a wise move while you continue to prat for him. However, nowhere does the Lord approve or bless a "re-marriage" unless it is to your proper spouse or, if they have died, to an eligible Christian.
"i had a simular situation here to ladyinred, im curious that you only see it as the fault of the one cheated on, when infact many the adultrous spouses leave for the mistress/lover, not because one is unwilling to forgive"
Trust me, I have examined re-marriage in my own situation from every angle. I was the innocent one. Nevertheless, when it comes time for me to stand before the Lord, I want to be found blameless and to hear Him say "Well done, good and faithful servant; thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord."
To put it bluntly, there's no woman I've ever had that's worth going to hell for.
1Co 7:12 But to the rest I say, not the Lord, that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he must not divorce her.
1Co 7:13 And a woman who has an unbelieving husband, and he consents to live with her, she must not send her husband away.
1Co 7:14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing husband; for otherwise your children are unclean, but now they are holy.
1Co 7:15 Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave; the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us to peace
Above Paul seems to be of the opinion that it's acceptable in the eyes of God for an unbeliever and a believer to divorce.
2Co 6:14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?
He seems to make the same case above.
1Ti 5:8 But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
Above Paul also seems to make the case that a Christian who won't provide for his own has denied the faith and isn't a believer any more. The conclusion is that divorce may be warranted.
Anyone that physically abuses his or her spouse on an ongoing basis without repentence is defintely not a Christian and would fall under "not providing for his own":
1Ti 5:8 But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
In which case you don't have to be yoked unfairly to an unbeliever....
Divorce is not the central issue. The re-marriage by or to an ineligible party is what makes for the constant adultery.
I'm not sure what the difference is. Scripture teaches that divorce is valid for those reasons outlined above. This would seem to indicate that remarriage is scripturally sanctioned. Of course if a person divorces for non-scriptural reasons, then I would say that remarriage is adultery.
I don't want to presume something and I don't want to try and explain disobedience to the Lord. The Lord is clear about the divorce issue. Nowhere does he sanction and bless the re-marriage.
I thank God that He forgave a Wretch like me. Jesus and Paul tell us that marriage can be compared to Christ and His church(us, the believer). Have you ever known anyone to backslide from his first love? I have. And, I've seen how miserable they treat the Lord in all of their sin. Jesus still loves them and prays for them to return to Him. When the backslider comes to his senses, repents and asks the Lord to take him back again, does he find that Jesus has divorced him and turns His back on him?
We have been instructed to be likewise to our errant spouses.
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