Divorce and Remarriage: Call it what Jesus calls it … Adultery!

11-23-02 | Ex-Wretch

[OMalley]

***If in Gods eyes sex seals a marriage..then kids, that have slept with a series of people are ACTUALLY married to the first one and all others after that (including the one they had a ceremony with) are 'adulterous'***

you know your the first person ive heard say that too! i was trying to make this point earlier to a friend.

howve you been?

[ladyinred]

Separating because of an adulterous spouse is because forgiveness is not forthcoming from the abused spouse

I divorced an unfaithful husband who was also beating me. Are you saying God expected me to stay married to him and just forgive him? Am I understanding what you mean?

[OMalley]

**Separating because of an adulterous spouse is because forgiveness is not forthcoming from the abused spouse**

i had a simular situation here to ladyinred, im curious that you only see it as the fault of the one cheated on, when infact many the adultrous spouses leave for the mistress/lover, not because one is unwilling to forgive.

[ladyinred]

As another one who endured physical abuse, I salute you, and am pleased that you are now happy. So am I, and I am not Catholic, but still was raised that marriage is forever. Perhaps that is why I stayed too long in an abusive marriage, and nearly was killed doing so. God blessed me with a wonderful new husband too.

Bless you and your family!

[ladyinred]

In the Nazarene Church yes and I believe in the Baptist also ..BUT I would have to check wiith Jerry. I believe the issue is if there is a divorce while serving..That would show the man could not manage his own houisrhold as scrpture says he must

I haven't been involved in any Baptist Church that would allow that. There may be some however, but certainly not the ones I have gone too. I am surprised that the Nazarene Church does allow it. Not that I think it is wrong, just surprised!

[ladyinred]

Wonderful!
Marriage is a commitment.

[ladyinred]

May I ask, what religion you are?

[ladyinred]

Non-Denominational, Full Gospel, Holiness. Most accurate "label" you could hang on us would be old time Pentecostal. No snakes and definitely NOT Jesus-only.

Sorry, I see that you were already asked that question. I was still reading through the thread.

[Ex-Wretch]

"So by your standards since i was once divorced, my re-marriage now is sinful*, therefore i should compound my sin by sinning again by getting another divorce, from the father of my child???"

My standards? Try Jesus' standards. Your problem is the same as Eve's. She didn't fear God either.

Why would you purposely go against the Lord's command? Because it feels good? I guess if your "happiness" is all that matters to God ... but, don't be deceived. God is not mocked. What you have sown you will also reap. Obedience or, Disobedience. There is a way that seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death.

* technicality here. Was your first marriage union a right marriage (i.e. was it the first marriage for both parties)? If not, then if it was your first, but not his, then in God's eyes you were in adultery(a civil union but not a godly union). Thus if you were divorced from the first union and remarried to someone who had not been married before, then , the marriage you are in now is a right marriage.

[OMalley]

because i wasnt happy? how do you know my situation??

i suppose being physically, sexually, mentally abused is AOKAY in your book, as well as his countless affairs. i guess it was better that i died by his hand then to GASP divorce. marital unfaithfulness is grounds for divorce, biblically and thats a fact.

you are very judgemental to ppl without even knowing thier situations and the fact that your "church" encourages divorce for any reason says all i need to hear. how frightening that familys have been ripped apart:(

God is the God of second chances....

[OMalley]

***Non-Denominational, Full Gospel, Holiness. Most accurate "label" you could hang on us would be old time Pentecostal. No snakes and definitely NOT Jesus-only.***

Everything makes perfect sense now, no wonder you sound so familiar.

[Ex-Wretch]

"I divorced an unfaithful husband who was also beating me. Are you saying God expected me to stay married to him and just forgive him? Am I understanding what you mean?"

If it was life threatening, separating from him was probably a wise move while you continue to prat for him. However, nowhere does the Lord approve or bless a "re-marriage" unless it is to your proper spouse or, if they have died, to an eligible Christian.

"i had a simular situation here to ladyinred, im curious that you only see it as the fault of the one cheated on, when infact many the adultrous spouses leave for the mistress/lover, not because one is unwilling to forgive"

Trust me, I have examined re-marriage in my own situation from every angle. I was the innocent one. Nevertheless, when it comes time for me to stand before the Lord, I want to be found blameless and to hear Him say "Well done, good and faithful servant; thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord."

To put it bluntly, there's no woman I've ever had that's worth going to hell for.

[SandyEgo]

How wonderful to hear from you again...this thread was from last year, and it still pained me to hear that I was eternally "damned" for changing my situation.

Dear Lady - hope your "second chance" is going as well as mine, and that you have a wonderful Christmas surrounded by all those who love you...which I'm sure will be more than that - what was his name? - Ex Wretch? - whatever. ha

BTW, we are both in that low percentile that chose wisely after an abusive relationship...way to go, girl!
(hmmm - hope that doesn't show my age - or my humor). Love you, Sandy

[DouglasKC]

Jesus's words against divorce in Matthew 5:31 were directed towards those who beleived in the God of Israel. They didn't always obey, but they were considered members of the faith. Divorce among believers is not to be done except in the case of adultery and Paul seems to interpret it exactly this way:

1Co 7:12 But to the rest I say, not the Lord, that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he must not divorce her.
1Co 7:13 And a woman who has an unbelieving husband, and he consents to live with her, she must not send her husband away.
1Co 7:14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing husband; for otherwise your children are unclean, but now they are holy.
1Co 7:15 Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave; the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us to peace

Above Paul seems to be of the opinion that it's acceptable in the eyes of God for an unbeliever and a believer to divorce.

2Co 6:14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?

He seems to make the same case above.

1Ti 5:8 But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

Above Paul also seems to make the case that a Christian who won't provide for his own has denied the faith and isn't a believer any more. The conclusion is that divorce may be warranted.

[Ex-Wretch]

prat = pray

[DouglasKC]

BTW, we are both in that low percentile that chose wisely after an abusive relationship...

Anyone that physically abuses his or her spouse on an ongoing basis without repentence is defintely not a Christian and would fall under "not providing for his own":

1Ti 5:8 But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

In which case you don't have to be yoked unfairly to an unbeliever....

[Ex-Wretch]

... Paul seems to be of the opinion that it's acceptable in the eyes of God for an unbeliever and a believer to divorce.

Divorce is not the central issue. The re-marriage by or to an ineligible party is what makes for the constant adultery.

[DouglasKC]

Divorce is not the central issue. The re-marriage by or to an ineligible party is what makes for the constant adultery.

I'm not sure what the difference is. Scripture teaches that divorce is valid for those reasons outlined above. This would seem to indicate that remarriage is scripturally sanctioned. Of course if a person divorces for non-scriptural reasons, then I would say that remarriage is adultery.

[narses]

Ping.

[Ex-Wretch]

Scripture teaches that divorce is valid for those reasons outlined above. This would seem to indicate that remarriage is scripturally sanctioned.

I don't want to presume something and I don't want to try and explain disobedience to the Lord. The Lord is clear about the divorce issue. Nowhere does he sanction and bless the re-marriage.

I thank God that He forgave a Wretch like me. Jesus and Paul tell us that marriage can be compared to Christ and His church(us, the believer). Have you ever known anyone to backslide from his first love? I have. And, I've seen how miserable they treat the Lord in all of their sin. Jesus still loves them and prays for them to return to Him. When the backslider comes to his senses, repents and asks the Lord to take him back again, does he find that Jesus has divorced him and turns His back on him?

We have been instructed to be likewise to our errant spouses.