Posted on 04/23/2025 4:12:42 AM PDT by metmom
“‘It was said, “Whoever sends his wife away, let him give her a certificate of divorce”; but I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for the reason of unchastity, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery’” (Matthew 5:31–32).
Jesus no more approves of divorce than did Moses (cf. Matt. 19:6). Adultery, another reality God never condoned, is the only reason under the law that allows for dissolving of a marriage, with the guilty party to be put to death (Lev. 20:10). Because Jesus mentions this here and again in Matthew 19:9, God must have allowed divorce to replace execution as the penalty for adultery at some time during Israel’s history.
Divorce is never commanded; it is always a last resort, allowed when unrepentant immorality has exhausted the patience of the innocent spouse. This merciful concession to human sinfulness logically implies that God also permits remarriage. Divorce’s purpose is to show mercy to the guilty party, not to sentence the innocent party to a life of loneliness. If you are innocent and have strived to maintain your marriage, you are free to remarry if your spouse insists on continued adultery or divorce.
Jesus does not demand divorce in all cases of unchastity (immorality, primarily adultery in this context), but simply points out that divorce and remarriage on other grounds results in adultery.
Our Lord wants to set the record straight that God still hates divorce (Mal. 2:16) and that His ideal remains a monogamous, lifelong marriage. But as a gracious concession to those innocent spouses whose partners have defiled the marriage, He allows divorce for believers for the reason of immorality. (Paul later added the second reason of desertion, 1 Cor. 7:15.)
Ask Yourself
How could you be an encouragement to a couple whose marriage is on the verge of collapse? How could you show Christ’s mercy to those who have been wounded the greatest?
From Daily Readings from the Life of Christ, Vol. 1, John MacArthur. Copyright © 2008. Used by permission of Moody Publishers, Chicago, IL 60610, www.moodypublishers.com.
Studying God’s Word ping
When I look at scripture, what I don't see is the Lord giving the Believer permission to remarry after a divorce.
Genesis 2:24 – “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”
Matthew 5:31-32 – “It has been said, ‘Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.’ But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.”
1 Corinthians 7:10-11 – “To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.”
1 Corinthians 7:12-15 – “To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so; the brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?”
Luke 16:18 – “Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery, and the man who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.”
Romans 7:2-3 – “For example, by law a married woman is bound to her husband as long as he is alive, but if her husband dies, she is released from the law that binds her to him. So then, if she has sexual relations with another man while her husband is still alive, she is called an adulteress. But if her husband dies, she is released from that law and is not an adulteress if she marries another man.”
Luke 18:29-30 – “Truly I tell you, no one who has left home or wife or brothers or parents or children for the sake of the kingdom of God will fail to receive many times as much in this age and, in the age to come, eternal life.” This passage speaks to the idea of sacrifice for the kingdom of God. While not directly related to divorce and remarriage, it highlights the importance of prioritizing God’s kingdom over personal relationships. Those who face hardship in relationships, including the pain of divorce, may find comfort in the rewards that God promises for their faithfulness.
The Christian and non-Christians divorce rates are the same.
Maybe nominally true, but it's lower among Christians who regularly attend church. I kinda hate using church attendance as a barometer for which Christians are real or not, but it may be the best metric we have.
When I look at scripture, what I don't see is the Lord giving the Believer permission to remarry after a divorce.
I don't know. It's possible to look at 1 Corinthians 7:15-16 (which you posted below)'s permission to count yourself as lawfully divorced as permission to remarry. One could argue, though, that even when we go with Paul's version, a condition is that the spouse who left is an unbeliever. Perhaps, and I mean "perhaps", the unbeliever distinction is how Paul's version of being lawfully divorced (which I would take as permission to marry someone else) seems to contradict Jesus' version of it being a sin to marry a divorced woman. Perhaps Jesus implied divorce among believers means unlawful to remarry (unless there was adultery).
At least, that's how I reconcile Jesus' and Paul's teachings as not being against each other, since I count them both as inerrant Scripture. If I'm right, and this perhaps is a bit too legalistic, then it's sin to divorce and remarry unless there's adultery involved and/or unless the spouse doing the divorce is an unbeliever.
You know, this is a tough situation for a lot of us… I stepped outside the bounds of marriage, purposely, after much bitterness and lack of intimacy from my spouse. Resulted in me divorcing her and remarrying. I’m very grateful for my partner now, but I think a lot about my sins with remorse. This passage doesn’t serve those of us who have already gone through this but it does serve as a warning for people who might be considering it.
I quoted scripture in which I don't see any allowance for a divorced person to remarry. Some might argue that remarriage could be inferred. What I see as common between Jesus' and Paul's teaching is not that divorce is never allowed but that allowance for remarriage after divorce is not articulated in scripture.
A problem w/in Christianity is that Believers pick and choose scriptures to follow and ignore the rest. You mention the term 'legalistic'. Are there absolutes in Christian doctrine or is everything open to negation through grace and personal interpretation?
I'm not a judge. Divorced and remarried Christians persons answer to the Lord.
Maybe a better question to ask is: "Are preachers preaching the Word regarding divorce and remarriage or are they compromising to not offend and lose congregants?" For too many, I believe it's the latter.
I separated from my husband after several assaults, one involving, locking me in the house and loading and unloading his shotgun from a few feet away. I never sat with my back to a door at home, had lost 25 pounds, suffered from numerous bouts of IBS That took me completely out of commission for three days over and over and over again. The idea that my husband’s sins should result in my accepting not only destitution (he ended up with all property, vehicles, and bank accounts) but also the rest of my life without a partner....
Jesus came to fulfill the law of love, and never required one human being to pay with their earthly lives for the sins of another. I declined to be socially and psychologically imprisoned for life based on self-righteous legalistic interpretations of scripture. He was killing the person God created me to be, and just because the Bible doesn’t say attempted murder is justification for divorce does not justify the excuses for immoral, even deadly behavior on the part of a spouse!
Until you have looked at the end of a shotgun held by your spouse, and attempted reconciliation for more than six years as I slowly withered, stop playing, God and Judge of other people!
Matthew 19:9 says: I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.
So in the Luke 16:18 one you posted, Jesus seems to be not talking about a scenario of adultery in the marriage (before divorce). But in the Matthew 19:9 one, He's talking about adultery in the marriage being an exception for it being sin to divorce and remarry.
So which Jesus is right? The Luke 16:18 Jesus, or the Matthew 19:9 Jesus? Obviously, both are right because it's one Jesus. So I infer from that logic that Luke 16:18 implies scenario of divorce without adultery. Thus we shouldn't apply Luke 16 for the adultery situation (or we'd be saying that Matthew 19:9 is wrong).
At least, that's how I see it.
Yours was indeed a horrific situation and I’m sorry you endured so much suffering because of it.
I know some people who I never thought would have been involved in adultery and gone through divorce because of it and both partners have remarried.
My heart ALWAYS goes out to the wounded party in this case. So I don’t judge what one person decides to do after that. That is indeed between the person and God.
Ona different note, I always felt great sympathy for poor Leah, Jacob’s wife, who was stuck in worse than a loveless marriage. Her husband actually loved her sister whom he also married and was mad when he found out the day after the wedding that it was Leah. I cannot imagine the heartbreak she experienced.
FWIW, I don’t write these devotionals. I just post whatever happens to be the one for that day. On occasion, people have responded to me as if I was the author, and am not.
I’m glad you are no longer putting up with that horrific abuse. God bless you.
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