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“God Wants Me to Be Happy” - A Reflection on a Deeply Flawed Moral Stance
Archdiocese of Washinngton blog ^ | 06-25-19 | Msgr. Charles Pope

Posted on 06/26/2019 10:26:01 AM PDT by Salvation

Posted on June 25, 2019June 25, 2019 by Msgr. Charles Pope

“God Wants Me to Be Happy” - A Reflection on a Deeply Flawed Moral Stance

One of the questionable, and unfortunately common, forms of moral reasoning today is the rather narcissistic notion that God wants each of us to be happy. Sometimes it is put in the form of a rhetorical question: God wants me to be happy, doesn’t He?

And this sort of reasoning (if you want to call it that) is used to justify just about anything. Thus, in pondering divorce, a spouse might point to his or her misery and conclude that God would approve of the split because God wants me to be happy, doesn’t He? Many seek to justify so-called same-sex marriage, and other illicit sexual notions in the same way.

Further, other responsibilities are often blithely set aside as too demanding, under the pretext that God would not make difficult demands because, after all, He wants me to be happy. Since getting to Mass is difficult for me, God will understand if I don’t go; He wants me to be happy, not burdened. Forgiving someone is hard and God does not ask hard things of us; He wants me to be happy. Refusing to cooperate with some evil at work would risk my income; surely God would not demand that I withstand it since He wants me to be happy, content, and financially secure.

The notion that God wants me to be happy thus becomes a kind of trump card, some sort of definitive declaration that obviates the need for any further moral reflection. Practically speaking, this means that I am now free to do as I please. Since I am happy, God is happy, and this is His will … or so the thinking goes.

There are, of course, multiple problems with the “God wants me to be happy” moral stance. In the first place, happiness is a complex matter that admits of many subjective criteria including personal development, temporal dimensions, and worldview. For example, a spiritually mature person can find happiness simply in knowing that he is pleasing God by follow His Commandments. On an interpersonal level, many are happy to make sacrifices for the people they love. To others who are less mature, even the smallest sacrifice can seem obnoxious and bring on unhappiness; pleasing God is not even on their radar, let alone something that would make them happy.

Happiness is also temporally variable. Most of us are well aware that happiness tomorrow is often contingent upon making certain sacrifices today. For example, the happiness one gets in taking a vacation is usually dependent upon having saved up some money beforehand. Making sacrifices today enables happiness tomorrow. If all I do is please myself in the moment, insist on being happy right now, my ability to be happy in the future will likely be seriously compromised. Setting no limits today might mean that I am broke tomorrow, or addicted, or unhealthily overweight, or afflicted with a sexually-transmitted disease. True, lasting, deep happiness in the future often requires some sacrifice today, some capacity to say “No” right now. Without any consideration of the future or of eternal life, “happiness” in the moment is vague, foolish, and meaningless, if not outright destructive. God desires our happiness, all right, but the happiness He wants for us is that of eternal life with Him forever. He has clearly indicated that this will often involve forsaking many of the passing pleasures and the “happiness” of this world.

More troubling still is the self-referential and narcissistic aspect contained in the simple little word “me.” God wants me to be happy.

Those who expresses this “me” notion might be surprised to discover that God has bigger things in mind. God actually cares about other people, too! He also cares about future generations and about the common good. Yes, there’s just a little more on God’s radar than you.

So the divorced man who might say, “God wants me to be happy” should consider that God might actually care about his children too; He might care about the culture that suffers due to rampant divorce; He might care about future generations that would inherit a culture shredded by destroyed families.

Wow, God might actually want others to be happy besides me! Even more shockingly, God might want me to sacrifice my happiness for them! He might actually want me to consider them and even regard them as more important that I am.

As a moral reference point, “me” is remarkably narrow and usually self-serving. And yet many today use this almost reflexively and authoritatively. “God wants me to be happy, so all discussions and further deliberations are over. God has spoken through my desires. He wants me to be happy. Who are you to dispute that? We’re done here; I will not be judged by you.”

“God wants me to be happy” is not a legitimate moral principle. It bespeaks a narcissism that is, sadly, too common today. Call it “Stuart Smalley theology.” You don’t know who Stuart Smalley is? This video shows it plainly enough. The bottom line is, don’t be Stuart Smalley.


TOPICS: Apologetics; Catholic; History; Theology
KEYWORDS: catholic; morals
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To: conservativepoet

But isn’t our goal eternal life in heaven?

Not supposed happiness on earth.


41 posted on 06/26/2019 2:59:22 PM PDT by Salvation ("With God all things are possible." Matthew 19:26)
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To: metmom

[[OTOH, neither does God want us to be miserable.]]

There are a number of verses that talk about His wanting us to be happy too- Yes, we are to have joy in the Lord- above all things, as God created us to have joyful fellowship with Him first and foremost- but He’s also concerned with our waning and increasing happiness- and wishes us to be happy- He of course realizes that happiness is fickle- but He did create things to bless us with to make us happy too- which i believe is the very reason He crated taste buds-

[[I think what he’s getting at is that it becomes a problem when we let the thinking that God wants us to be happy to be the basis for making decisions instead of Scripture and God’s moral absolutes doing that.]]

I didn’t get that for the reasons pointed out in previous posts- He contradicts himself in his article- He makes an explicit point that happiness is a false/immoral doctrine-

““God wants me to be happy” is not a legitimate moral principle. It bespeaks a narcissism””

Maybe he’s confused, I dunno- but he goes on to suggest it’s ok to be happy, but then suggests we shouldn’t be because God doesn’t mean for just to be happy- by statying

“More troubling still is the self-referential and narcissistic aspect contained in the simple little word “me.” God wants me to be happy.”

God’s word does state that He is very concerned with our happiness, (as well as our Joy)- irregardless of others- His love for us includes His personal attention to our feelings- not just our joy which isn’t based on feelings-

There’s several issues that are off with this article- and I don’t know if it’s just because he’s confused, or believes something in error- but the whole point of my posts was to address the shaming of those that enjoy happiness- by saying some of the things he did- I’ve seen far too many sermons and articles that almost amount to finger wagging from the authors- scolding people- making people feel ashamed for things they need not feel ashamed about- and in this article- He points to extreme examples of wrong claims of happiness’ to chastise people for that wanting to be happy is immoral- (Which he confusingly later contradicts by saying it’s ok, but suggesting it’s only ok if we humbly acknowledge that He wants other people to be happy too, and that we must realize we may have to give up happiness in order for others to be happy-

I just didn’t find the article to be well written- and if that’s how he really thinks, then I think, as shown in the gospels, that he is wrong-

[[the basis for making decisions instead of Scripture and God’s moral absolutes doing that.]]

I got that too- but I also got just what I posted above too- he had a couple of messages in a short article that end up contradicting himself- and as i mentioned, it could result in people feeling guilty for thinking God wants them to be happy because in the authors own words, it’s immoral-


42 posted on 06/26/2019 3:00:06 PM PDT by Bob434
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To: Bob434

** “God wants me to be happy”**

In Heaven!


43 posted on 06/26/2019 3:01:28 PM PDT by Salvation ("With God all things are possible." Matthew 19:26)
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To: Salvation

But isn’t our goal eternal life in heaven?

Not supposed happiness on earth.
___________________

Great question. Actually, it is the friendship of God and evil wants to twist and distort to prevent it. I went to church all my life but didn’t really trust that He is good. To finally encounter His goodness for me was discovering “He feels better than Christmas Day.” Our friendship is based on his generosity and extravagant love for his son—me.

By the way earth will be part of our inheritance when Jesus makes all things new. Remember he let us know that we will receive all things back that were lost because of our love for Him. If you get a chance check out John Eldredge’s All Things New: Heaven, Earth, and the Restoration of Everything You Love.


44 posted on 06/26/2019 3:28:19 PM PDT by conservativepoet
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To: conservativepoet

**By the way earth will be part of our inheritance**

Earth is ruled by the evil one.

My goal is heaven with Jesus Christ, not a piece of the earth.


45 posted on 06/26/2019 3:30:18 PM PDT by Salvation ("With God all things are possible." Matthew 19:26)
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To: Salvation

AND on earth too-


46 posted on 06/26/2019 3:32:23 PM PDT by Bob434
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To: Salvation

[[Forget the “self-centered” me.]]

Why? God doesn’t tell me to forget about my feelings anywhere in His word- infact, He specifically states that He has created things specifically to make me happy- as well as others- there is nothing shameful in wishing to have a happy life- nothing- UNLESS you use it as an excuse to falsely claim God approves of sinful things- Do you go for hours without thinking about the Lord? Well then we can say you are self centered and sinning- because in your words, it’s ‘al;l about the Lord- and we must ‘forget about our self-centered me’s’

Again- you are implying that if we seek to be happy- that it’s a shameful thing- When God’s word specifically tells us we can and should be happy-

Do you eat something, really enjoy it, and forget to thank God for it? If so, Are you sinning because you have ‘self-centerdly’ enjoyed something? I don’t think so-

Too often we are told that we must walk around in all seriousness thinking of nothing but God every waking hour of the day because it’s ‘all about the Lord- That we’re to be mindful of this and never take our minds off this fact for a minute or God will be displeased with us- this simply is NOT the truth- Elija, running from the queen, became so weary that he wished to die- His mind certainly was NOT on God at that point- but on the things that were happening to him and the results of his running, ie he was done in- That’s all he could think about at that time- God brought him nourishment and sleep to make him happy in spirit again- so that he could get up and keep running because that was God’s plan for him at that point-

Happiness is not, and should not be our only goal in life, but it should be a goal IF possible, because happy content people are a joy to the Lord-

God gave us eyes, to see pleasing things to make us happy, He gave us taste buds that we might be happy when we eat things that we truly enjoy, He gave us ears to hear things that makes us happy- He gave us feeling to feel things that make us happy- He gave us the sense of smell to smell things that make us happy- knowing full well that most people will stop to smell the rose, be filled with a sense of happiness, and never stop to thank Him for every little thing we experience that makes us happy-

[[Forget the “self-centered” me.]]

No- I won’t- God made many things to be enjoyed to make us happy- If you wanna feel guilty for experiencing the pleasure of happiness because you feel you must have a heavy heart because of the desire to be happy- and you want to think we can only be truly happy WHEN we get to heaven- then- that’s your business- But God brings a great many things into His children’s lives that make them happy whether they break out in praises to Him or not- He even tells us He made things to cheer our hearts- with NO conditions- Should we be thankful and acknowledge Him for good things that make us happy? Of course- Will He stop giving us good things because we might forget to praise Him whenever every little good thing that makes us happy comes our way?, or we get distracted, or whatever? Of course not-

[[Forget the “self-centered” me.]]

No thank You- just because I enjoy things in life personally, does not mean I don’t care about others, or about God- Ever- and people should NOT be made to feel guilty about enjoying the good things God brings our way that make us happy-


47 posted on 06/26/2019 3:36:40 PM PDT by Bob434
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To: Salvation

Earth is ruled by the evil one.
__________________

Actually evil is now a squatter. Jesus is the original artist and has paid the price for Adam/Eve’s sellout. When Jesus gave his friends (disciples) the gifts to begin the take-back evil knew it had made the ultimate mistake when they crucified Jesus.

This world belongs to Jesus and he’s waiting for his friends to continue the eventual take-back. We collaborate with Him in this quest. He will ultimately come and like any artist who loves his original painting He will make it new again.


48 posted on 06/26/2019 3:38:07 PM PDT by conservativepoet
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To: Salvation

Thanks for posting. It’s because of Free Republic that I first heard of Msgr. Pope. Have been following his blog for more than a few years. Part of my morning routine.


49 posted on 06/26/2019 3:39:33 PM PDT by MomwithHope (Forever grateful to all our patriots, past, present and future)
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To: MomwithHope

Thanks for the kind words.


50 posted on 06/26/2019 3:41:11 PM PDT by Salvation ("With God all things are possible." Matthew 19:26)
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To: Salvation

What I think will make me happy and what God knows will make me happy are frequently quite different things!


51 posted on 06/26/2019 3:43:46 PM PDT by cookcounty (Susan Rice: G Gordon Liddy times 10.)
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To: infool7

If you can,please look up what type of flower it is. Thank-you.


52 posted on 06/26/2019 4:43:07 PM PDT by Biggirl ("One Lord, one faith, one baptism" - Ephesians 4:5)
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To: Salvation

But,according to Revelation,in the end,we win.


53 posted on 06/26/2019 4:45:25 PM PDT by Biggirl ("One Lord, one faith, one baptism" - Ephesians 4:5)
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To: infool7

I was thinking about you and that picture when I decided to do my own research. The plant is called an allium, which is in the onion,garlic,leeks,and chives family.


54 posted on 06/26/2019 5:02:09 PM PDT by Biggirl ("One Lord, one faith, one baptism" - Ephesians 4:5)
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To: cookcounty

[[What I think will make me happy and what God knows will make me happy are frequently quite different things!]]

Yes, but sometimes they are the same thing- For instance, He might know that you love to stop and smell the roses- and might direct your path in such a way that you have access to a rose patch- many times we don’t recognize all the little ways that God provides for our happiness- He doesn’t always work in large dramatic ways- He might for instaNCE know that we are overworked, and need a break to get re-energized and adopt a ‘happy demeanor’ again (in other-words we’ve become grumpy old farts) and provide the needed break somehow, sometimes even by an illness that prevents us from going into work- Odd to think an illness could be good, but if it gets a person out of the stressful situation that was eating them up- making them stress, for a little while, it becomes a good thing- We get the rest- stress free, and recoup and are energized, and get back to work with a renewed sense of ethics- or whatever- more happy-

It’s hard to see the many many ways God provides for our happiness and well being- and we often don’t recognize many of them- but God provides them just the same- because He loves us

Just the way a parent provides and provides and provides for the happiness and well being of their child knowing full well the child won’t even recognize it or show any gratitude- but we love them, and know deep down inside they WILL be grateful even if they don’t show it outwardly- their happiness is our reward, and I think that is the same with God too-


55 posted on 06/26/2019 8:39:55 PM PDT by Bob434
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To: Biggirl
I was thinking about you and that picture when I decided to do my own research. The plant is called an allium, which is in the onion,garlic,leeks,and chives family.

Sorry, I missed your ping but

yes that's it!

When I saw this thread

I thought,

keeping this beautiful blessing

all to myself was being a bit selfish and

what a perfect place to

share my joy.

Thank You so much for

letting me know that you appreciated it.

7

56 posted on 06/27/2019 3:46:52 AM PDT by infool7 (Observe, Orient, Pray, Decide, Act!(it's an OOPDA loop))
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