Posted on 01/19/2019 11:33:40 AM PST by Salvation
Second marriages The Church does not gauge the validity of a union by the happiness of the people who have entered it Msgr. Charles Pope 1/9/2019
Question: Jesus says if you divorce your wife and marry another, you commit adultery. But we see many seemingly happy people in their second marriage. What is your perspective on this?
— Paul VanHoudt, Erie, Colorado
Answer: The implied premise of your question is that happiness and joy are determining criteria for what is right and wrong. Such a premise is flawed. Doing what is right does not always bring immediate happiness. Sometimes what is right is challenging and irksome, and we must trust in the ultimate happiness of doing what is right, not simply the passing happiness that may come from doing what is wrong. Jesus summons us to take up our cross and follow him, not our pillow. He further warns, “Woe to you who laugh now, for you will mourn and weep” (Lk 6:25).
A second problematic premise of your observation is a rather personalized understanding of happiness. People in second marriages may manifest happiness, but it is often not such a happy reality in the eyes of their children or other family members, who may have very mixed feelings, including sorrow. Many children of divorced families carry hurts and scars from the experience. They had to process the tragic reality that Mom and Dad don’t love each other anymore and, apparently, I am not a good enough reason for them to stay together. This may harm their trust in people and their own moral, spiritual and emotional formation. They may have to spend time at different homes and navigate confusing relationships if their parents go on to date and marry others. Even as they become adults, these complexities and ambiguities remain. When the parents put down the cross of working at their marriage, it is usually the children who must pick it up. Thus, when it comes to happiness, more must be considered than the couple.
All that said, noting that some people go on to great fulfillment in second marriages and even come into the Church or grow in holiness, cannot be wholly disregarded. There may be indications that God is offering blessings in what is objectively problematic. For this pastoral reason and others, the Church is willing to look into the questions of prior marriages and see if there are causes for the nullity of that first marriage. A declaration of nullity is a judgment of the Church that some essential aspect of marriage was lacking in the prior marriage and that it was not “what God has joined together.” There is not space here to fully explain nullity. However, it should be added that the mere happiness of spouses in a current marriage is not a consideration in granting annulments for a prior marriage. Only data regarding the prior marriage are considered.
No problem. It is biblical for divorce... and while divorce is found in Scripture, annulment is not. Better to follow God's Word.
This statement is absolutely a false reading of the Greek language and Scripture.
Will you kindly back up that phrase with evidence from Scripture? I am particularly referring to the concept of "constant."
Trump's did.
God directly interceded and granted the first annulment in Genesis 20.
God gave us reason; you commit adultery, get divorced, either marry your adultery partner or get remarried you are in a constant state of adultery; pretty simple to understand with a soft humble heart, however one full of lust can see your point.
I don’t think I spoke to you. Do you think I need to copy and paste scripture to know that committing adultery with no kntent to repemt and stop is sinful? Of course if your future sons are forgiven without repenting or stopping, sin away day after day. I’d appreciate it if you take your anti Catholic trolling elsewhere and never respond to my post, I have no interest in anything you say, think, believe or do.
No, there is no annulment in Genesis 20.God gave us reason; you commit adultery, get divorced, either marry your adultery partner or get remarried you are in a constant state of adultery
Nor does the context have anything to do with annulment.
Nor is it written to the Church.
Nor is it referenced as a marriage principle by the NT.Do you have anything else to support this idea of annulment FRiend?
So far, all you did was make an assertion.
No problem, we all have opinions.
This is different than providing any evidence to support this assertion.
May I ask you to share all your evidence.
I am referring to the "constant state of adultery" claim.
What specific evidence do you have that a divorce does not end a marriage?
If you take the position that there is not divorce, just read the Scriptures and see what God allowed through Moses and what Christ clarified in Matthew.
Since God allowed divorce for specific reasons, please make a good argument of why that allowed divorce did not end a marriage.
Thanks in advance.
And... this is an open discussion thread. And you just did speak to me and I am responding.
Do you think I need to copy and paste scripture to know that committing adultery with no kntent to repemt and stop is sinful?
No. I don't think you need to do anything you do not wish to do - unless you wish to prove your claim, which would be appreciated.
But please don't skip the important step of proving that divorce does not end a marriage, or your assertion about continuing adultry is specious and unproven.
I’d appreciate it if you take your anti Catholic trolling elsewhere and never respond to my post, I have no interest in anything you say, think, believe or do.
I asked you a question from Scripture.
If you cannot support your claim, OK. We all have opinions. Please don't claim it is Biblical.
Nice you found Mrs. Cleaver.
What about your children if you have any? What price did they pay for your search? Do you really know?=
Nice you found Mrs. Cleaver.
What about your children if you have any? What price did they pay for your search? Do you really know?=
I wouldn’t even discuss the weather with you. V
It was not the adultery fornication which was chronic that was the basis for your annulment.
It almost certainly was was a separate problem which existed before your marriage that resulted in such behaviors, usually designated as “the ONABILITY to fulfill the ESSENTIAL OBLIGATIONS OF MARRIAGE.
I think what’s poisoned the well is this notion that you marry your “soulmate” and that marriage should be effortless.
Agree. Marriage is for love, but also essentially for children and you have duties to kids even if miserable in the relationship.
Agree. Marriage is for love, but also essentially for children and you have duties to kids even if miserable in the relationship.
True, the limerence fades away; marriage is agape, sometimes eros, humility, and a lot of responsibility (But its worth the effort).
This is like being on the playground in the 5th grade
Blessings to you.
No marriage had occurred.
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