Posted on 05/16/2018 2:05:50 PM PDT by Coleus
A few years ago, I spoke with a young man preparing to get married. His aunt told him that she thought he and his fiancée were too financially-strapped to have a child, and that it wouldn’t be fair to bring up a baby in poverty. Keenly aware of his joblessness and his minuscule bank account, he concluded she was probably right.
The young man and his fiancée were ready to tie the knot in a few months and they expected that she would be at the infertile phase of her cycle around the time of their honeymoon, so they would be able to consummate the marriage while avoiding bringing a child into the world. They agreed they would use Natural Family Planning (NFP) after that to avoid a pregnancy. A few years later when they felt financially secure, he told me, they would have their first child. He admitted, however, that he was conflicted about whether they were really being “open to life” in their marriage if they were going into it with this kind of forethought and intention of avoiding children.
In marriage, it can certainly be challenging to harmonize spousal love with the responsible transmission of life. Janet Smith and Christopher Kaczor, in an illuminating passage from one of their recent books, acknowledge this challenge and point to the need for a “spirit of generosity” when it comes to procreation:
“Pope John Paul II spoke of ‘responsible parenthood,’ in which a couple uses practical wisdom, prayer and a spirit of generosity in determining how many children they should have. Some Catholics believe that the Church permits the use of NFP only for reasons that verge on the truly desperate, such as a situation where a pregnancy would threaten a woman’s life or a family is living in dire poverty. Magisterial documents, however, state that spouses may have physical, psychological, economic or social reasons for needing to limit family size, using several different adjectives to describe those reasons: One can have ‘just’ reasons, ‘worthy’ reasons, ‘defensible’ reasons, ‘serious’ reasons and ‘weighty’ reasons. In short, the Magisterium teaches that spouses must have unselfish reasons for using NFP and limiting their family size.”
At times, then, our justifications for avoiding a pregnancy may merit further reflection and scrutiny on our part. When it comes to “poverty,” for example, would our poverty, in the true sense of the word, mean that the child would be malnourished and without warm clothing, or would it simply mean that he or she would forego some of the latest hi-tech gadgets that other children in the neighborhood might be enjoying?
I recall what a father of seven children on a tight budget once told me in a conversation: “Honestly, there’s always room around the table for one more, and with ‘hand me down’ clothing we always manage. And my goodness, isn’t it a momentous thing to receive that trust of preparing another soul for an eternal destiny with God?” His wife pointed out how the older children ended up helping with raising the younger ones, lessening the burdens on mom and dad, and turning it into a “team effort.”
The ancient Christian teaching on the two-fold purpose of marriage; namely, the “procreation and education of children,” and the “mutual help and sanctification of the spouses,” accurately summarizes the inner order of marriage. As the future John Paul II wrote in his great 1960 book Love and Responsibility, radical personal openness to both of these purposes is essential to the success and meaning of any marriage. We should never enter into marriage with active opposition to the very ends for which it exists. If a couple is preparing to embark upon marriage with the immediate intention of avoiding offspring (even if they are using morally acceptable means such as NFP), they perhaps ought to consider delaying the exchange of their vows until they have resolved the various impediments, whether financial, career-related, or personal, that are leading them to be closed to the idea of having children.
I recall hearing about another family that had six children. They didn’t have two nickels to rub together. After the father came down with mental illness, the mother had to support the family single-handedly. A clear-thinking woman with an unflinching faith, now elderly and reflecting on her past, she memorably remarked to her neighbor: “I’ve never seen the Lord send a child without also sending a lunch pail.” God, who is the very source of the immortal souls of our children, is a provident God who invites us to examine the heart of our marriages. He invites us to entrust ourselves to him, so that we might be courageous and authentically open to the gift of life he sends us in the midst of the marital embrace.
Rev. Tadeusz Pacholczyk, Ph.D. earned his doctorate in neuroscience from Yale and did post-doctoral work at Harvard. He is a priest of the diocese of Fall River, MA, and serves as the Director of Education at The National Catholic Bioethics Center in Philadelphia. See http://www.ncbcenter.org/
One could certainly spend less than that, I suppose...but I would guess that many spend that much and more over the course of a couple of decades.
Thankfully, I only have to guess, not having kids myself....
NFP = Catholic church sanctioned birth control.
It allegedly provides for Catholic couples to do what is so often condemned here on FR by many FRoman Catholics, have sex without the risk of becoming pregnant, which is the scapegoat for everything that’s wrong with this country.
Can you imagine?
Married couples having sex just for the fun of it, and that leads to the degradation of morals in this country.
Mary of the Bible certainly did have other children...
Matthew 1:18-25 Now the birth of Jesus Christ took place in this way. When his mother Mary had been betrothed to Joseph, before they came together she was found to be with child from the Holy Spirit. And her husband Joseph, being a just man and unwilling to put her to shame, resolved to divorce her quietly.
But as he considered these things, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, saying, “Joseph, son of David, do not fear to take Mary as your wife, for that which is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins.” All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had spoken by the prophet: “Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and they shall call his name Immanuel” (which means, God with us). When Joseph woke from sleep, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded him: he took his wife, but knew her not until she had given birth to a son. And he called his name Jesus.
Psalm 69:8 I have become a stranger to my brothers, an alien to my mother's sons.
Matthew 1:24-25 When Joseph woke from sleep, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded him: he took his wife, but knew her not until she had given birth to a son. And he called his name Jesus.
Matthew 12:46-47 While He was still speaking to the multitudes, behold, His mother and brothers were standing outside, seeking to speak to Him. And someone said to Him, “Behold, Your mother and Your brothers are standing outside seeking to speak to You.”
Matthew 13:55 “Is not this the carpenter’s son? Is not His mother called Mary, and His brothers James and Joseph and Simon and Judas?”
Mark 6:2-3 And when the Sabbath had come, He began to teach in the synagogue; and the many listeners were astonished, saying, “Where did this man get these things, and what is this wisdom given to Him, and such miracles as these performed by His hands?”... “Is not this the carpenter, the son of Mary, and brother of James, and Joses, and Judas, and Simon? Are not His sisters here with us?”
John 2:12 After this He went down to Capernaum, He and His mother, and His brothers, and His disciples; and there they stayed a few days.”
John 7:2-5 Now the Jews’ Feast of Booths was at hand. So his brothers said to him, “Leave here and go to Judea, that your disciples also may see the works you are doing. For no one works in secret if he seeks to be known openly. If you do these things, show yourself to the world.” For not even his brothers believed in him.
Acts 1:14 These all with one mind were continually devoting themselves to prayer, along with the women, and Mary the mother of Jesus, and with His brothers
1 Corinthians 9:4-5 Do we not have a right to eat and drink? Do we not have a right to take along a believing wife, even as the rest of the apostles, and the brothers of the Lord, and Cephas?
Galatians 1:19 But I did not see any other of the apostles except James, the Lord’s brother
Strong's Concordance
http://biblehub.com/greek/80.htm
adelphos: a brother
Original Word: ἀδελφός, οῦ, ὁ
Part of Speech: Noun, Masculine
Transliteration: adelphos
Phonetic Spelling: (ad-el-fos')
Short Definition: a brother
Definition: a brother, member of the same religious community, especially a fellow-Christian.
Here is a link to the occurrences of the Greek word *adelphos*.
http://biblehub.com/greek/80.htm
The word *sister* (adelphe) in the Greek is the same.
http://biblehub.com/greek/79.htm
The word used is *brother* not *cousin*.
It can't mean a member of the same religious community in the context in which they occur, because then that would mean every man in Israel could be identified as Jesus' brother. So that would not identify Jesus as anyone in particular's brother.
It's not going to mean *brother in Christ* as that concept was not yet in place and the Jews, who knew Jesus as a Jew and knew His brothers as Jews, would not even begin to understand the new birth and what being in Christ meant.
They didn't even understand who JESUS was, much less being a *brother in Christ*.
The only definition left then, is to mean physical brother.
And it would not be *cousin*.
The word for *relative* that is used for Elizabeth is *suggenes*, not *adelphe*.
http://biblehub.com/greek/4773.htm
Strong's Concordance
suggenes: akin, a relative
Original Word: συγγενής, ές
Part of Speech: Adjective
Transliteration: suggenes
Phonetic Spelling: (soong-ghen-ace')
Short Definition: akin, a relative
Definition: akin to, related; subst: fellow countryman, kinsman.
We can go “yes-no-yes-no” all day, why don’t you cite where scripture says so?
Recommend Matthew 1 and Like 1 for starters.
"He invites us to entrust ourselves to him, so that we might be courageous and authentically open to the gift of life he sends us in the midst of the marital embrace." - too soft.
As a father of twelve, I say, young husband if the Lord gave you balls, then use them sir.
my parents did it....we had a happy childhood..
This is why we have not overcome surgical abortion. It’s just the tip of the iceberg.
which magnificent religion do you belong to...the saintly Methodist? the Lutherans..those crazy Baptists with the high divorce rates?..maybe you believe in multiple wives like Mormons....or head chopping like the Muzzies...
if you know so much about the bible, and can interpret it so well, what did Jesus do and say about the false prophets?...the ones who openly claimed how holy they were?...the sanctimonious ones?...
and you know don't you that if HE were here today, he would give you a good smack for being so arrogantly self righteous...
what enormous monetary cost?
Continuing to prove my observation that it is the Roman Catholic who is first, though not always, to resort to the personal attack and/or profanity when the facts are against them.
which magnificent religion do you belong to...the saintly Methodist? the Lutherans..those crazy Baptists with the high divorce rates?..maybe you believe in multiple wives like Mormons....or head chopping like the Muzzies...
Christianity...a follower of Christ.
On the issue of divorce....you really don't want to discuss the false Roman Catholic practice of annulments...do you?
if you know so much about the bible, and can interpret it so well, what did Jesus do and say about the false prophets?...the ones who openly claimed how holy they were?...the sanctimonious ones?...
Well, for starters, I've never claimed to be holy.
We are told in the Scriptures to test every spirit. Roman Catholicism has been tested and it has not passed the test.
All I did was compare what a pope said to what is revealed in Scripture and found Roman Catholic teaching at odds with the Scriptures. It isn't the first time and as predicted it greatly upsets the Roman Catholic when this is done.
Like many cults, Roman Catholicism doesn't like many of its details brought forward to the light.
And while he is looking that up, perhaps you could provide the Scripture that states that Mary and Joseph never consummated their marriage, that Mary was a perpetual virgin, and that Mary and Joseph never had any other kids of their own.
It works both ways. You all need to provide support for your claims as well.
Your projection is showing.
I was born in The Great Depression and knew many large families born in those years.
It can be done.
.
Can you please drop your tiresome canard? There was no personal attack or profanity directed towards you or any other poster.
Can you please drop your tiresome canard? There was no personal attack or profanity directed towards you or any other poster.
What....you don't like it when Roman Catholics are called out on their behavior? Then perhaps ya'll should cease the personal attacks and/or the use of profanity in your posts.
What....no reply yet? Gotta get more popcorn.
And you expected something different?
Not really.
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