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12 Surefire Methods For Standing Out From The Crowd During Church
Babylon Bee ^ | 3-19-18 | B. Bee

Posted on 03/20/2018 10:49:23 AM PDT by fishtank

12 Surefire Methods For Standing Out From The Crowd During Church

March 19, 2018

You know what’s the literal worst? Going through all the trouble to put on your best clothes from Hollister, drive all the way to church, and worship the Lord Most High—only to realize later that not a single person even noticed you the whole time you were singing God’s praises and having the Word of God preached to you. Everyone’s eyes were on the worship band or on the pastor.

(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...


TOPICS: General Discusssion
KEYWORDS: church
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To: raiderboy
The Essenes literally would not defecate on the sabbath.

 
 
 
I...
Must...
Resist...

101 posted on 03/21/2018 5:13:15 AM PDT by Elsie (Heck is where people, who don't believe in Gosh, think they are not going...)
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To: raiderboy
I don’t do research for the ignorant.

And don't need to for the knowledgable.

102 posted on 03/21/2018 5:15:10 AM PDT by Elsie (Heck is where people, who don't believe in Gosh, think they are not going...)
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To: wgmalabama

Now the rest of us are left wondering...


103 posted on 03/21/2018 5:16:19 AM PDT by Elsie (Heck is where people, who don't believe in Gosh, think they are not going...)
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To: wbarmy
Actually, the reintroduction of the Biblical Greek language by a Catholic scholar is an interesting story. His compilation of texts prevailing across the Byzantine Empire became the "Received Text" of the European world, and translations of it into the ordinary German, Spanish, and English daily languages of the people fueled the Reformation.

With these versions in their own speech the common people no longer needed a Catholic priest to tell them (often wrongly) what the Bible said. This new light spread across Europe like wildfire, and displaced the Latin Vulgate as the Bible to build one's faith on.

104 posted on 03/21/2018 5:36:14 AM PDT by imardmd1 (Fiat Lux)
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To: imardmd1

I try to pass that on in my ministry here in Sierra Leone. Whenever you hear one of the “Apostles” or “Prophets” or Reverends” say something is from the Bible, open the Bible and see.

One of the more gratifying things that I have seen in the last few months here is the opening of Bibles when the preaching begins. Previously, it was just whatever the man or woman in front was saying, and it was often wrong. Their usage (mis) of Philippians 4:19 was probably the most egregious.


105 posted on 03/21/2018 5:41:39 AM PDT by wbarmy (I chose to be a sheepdog once I saw what happens to the sheep.)
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To: wbarmy
May the Lord bless and guide you in your outreach. There is no goal more important to the local church than to be raising up men of sound doctrine who can teach others how to do the same (2 Tim. 2:1-2).

If all the missionary does is to have to continually wet-nurse converts who have been kept in a spirituallu immature state, it gives him a sense of patriarchal power, but when he is gone, the children of the converts will revert, and the effort lost.

Is English a common tongue amongst the Sierra Leoneans?

106 posted on 03/21/2018 6:17:43 AM PDT by imardmd1 (Fiat Lux)
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To: imardmd1

English is actually the official language of Sierra Leone, but the majority speak a very distorted version called Krio.

The translation of the Bible into Krio is the second most horrible translation I have ever read. The Good News Bible being the worst. (I know it was not a translation, but a paraphrase. The same can be said of the Krio Bible)

I really have to explain each of the concepts into very small bites, since their English is very weak. The other part of the equation is the large number of Muslims who have either converted or really like hearing real preaching. Some of the concepts do not easily cross over into their culture.

The personal worst for me is the rapacious desire for money above all else. This goes back into using Phil 4:19 as a reason to take something someone else has dropped or forgotten. God just provided for your needs by making them forget their money. Even the children had to have theft explained to them. The police call minor theft a 4-19 here in the city.


107 posted on 03/21/2018 6:25:09 AM PDT by wbarmy (I chose to be a sheepdog once I saw what happens to the sheep.)
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To: raiderboy

You need to understand the ox in its context in Scripture.


108 posted on 03/21/2018 8:30:47 AM PDT by fishtank (The denial of original sin is the root of liberalism.)
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To: wbarmy

Have you found yet any convert who is inspired to be individually trained in Biblical doctrine?


109 posted on 03/21/2018 8:45:19 AM PDT by imardmd1 (Fiat Lux)
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To: imardmd1

There is one former Muslim who has been doing a lot of study on his own once he was saved. We have started him on a specific discipleship program and I have been speaking to him about specific issues after the service.

However his base knowledge is so low that it will be quite awhile before I will feel secure in his understanding.

There is another locally trained pastor who has become my assistant who has good knowledge, but his preaching style was very “Thou Shalt Not” with very little charity involved. He has gotten a lot better these last two years but the desire for more legalism is still very evident in his preparation of messages.


110 posted on 03/21/2018 8:58:45 AM PDT by wbarmy (I chose to be a sheepdog once I saw what happens to the sheep.)
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To: Iscool

He worked in the oil business.


111 posted on 03/21/2018 9:01:38 AM PDT by MeganC (There is nothing feminine about feminism.)
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To: Elsie

The un-festooned simplicity of true saving faith is wondrous and marvelous—even a small child can effectively believe. As an ex-Catholic myself, that is all the more apparent to me.


112 posted on 03/21/2018 9:08:46 AM PDT by Hebrews 11:6 (Do you REALLY believe that (1) God IS, and (2) God IS GOOD?)
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To: boatbums

The Old Testament is completely irrelevant after the resurrection. The law is GONE. You can literally review only the New Testament.


113 posted on 03/21/2018 9:12:40 AM PDT by raiderboy ( "...if we have to close down our government, weÂ’re building that wall" DJT)
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To: Iscool

Let me clarify for you because you misunderstood. Ejkklesia means “the called out” . Ekklesia does not mean “assembly”. The Greek word for “Assembly” was and is still “Sanhedrin”. To say that Ekklesia means “assembly” was an intentional mistranslation by the institutional “church” to cover up for the fact that the entire make up of Christianity was NOT organized. It was merely the status of believer in Christ as the Son of God. all the epistles were sent to believers,not buildings. Tithing is not mentioned in the New Testament ,mortgaged buildings, pews, choirs, parking lots, Staffs, preachers, Reverends,Doctors of ‘divinity” — none of that is intended by Ekklesia. The “elders” in Timothy were the older believers. In fact ,did you know that Jesus commanded that you NOT pray in public? Jesus never prayed in public. Never! When He bless the food for the 4000. He did it silently. Jesus prayed only by Himself and always alone. Do you not follow the commands of Jesus? We don’t need “Churches” to do your praying. In fact Jesus promised that such public prayers will NOT be answered by God. As long as you are a believer, you are saved, and you can save a lot of money by not paying the speaker and the mortgage on the building you go to.


114 posted on 03/21/2018 10:28:53 AM PDT by raiderboy ( "...if we have to close down our government, weÂ’re building that wall" DJT)
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To: Elsie

So much there to address and I have many other interests but you appear to point out huge contradictions staring back at you. Are we to judge or not judge? If we do,is it a sin? If it is a sin , are we forgiven of our sins by atonement and propitiation or is that a contradiction or and error?


115 posted on 03/21/2018 10:34:27 AM PDT by raiderboy ( "...if we have to close down our government, weÂ’re building that wall" DJT)
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To: Wyrd bið ful aræd

Of course, if you are saved, Jesus is not the Son of Abraham. Jesus is not the Son of David. Jesus is not the Son of Joseph. Jesus is the Son of God!! What you have in both Matthew 1 and Luke 3:3 is a massive error. It is irrefutable.


116 posted on 03/21/2018 10:38:58 AM PDT by raiderboy ( "...if we have to close down our government, weÂ’re building that wall" DJT)
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To: MosesKnows
Speaking in tongues is not something a Christian does because he can; he does it because he is moved to.

I used to enjoy watching this guy, he reminded me of Jeremiah the Bullfrog........I never understood a single word he said.


117 posted on 03/21/2018 10:43:03 AM PDT by Hot Tabasco (My cat is not fat, she is just big boned........)
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To: raiderboy
The Old Testament is completely irrelevant after the resurrection.

Uhhh. NO.

The OT provides background and context to the NT. It provides the reason *why* the Resurrection was necessary (People cannot keep the Law). It provides the prophecies that were/are fulfilled later, to prove it is God's Word.

Never disregard anything inspired by God--even if you personally do not find it applicable to yourself.

The law is GONE.

If you never read/study the OT, what do you know about the Law? Why do you care that it's gone? How do you fully understand what Jesus did for us? How can you be sure the NT is God's Word?

You have a lot of learning to do. Please learn and do not teach.

118 posted on 03/21/2018 10:52:23 AM PDT by ShadowAce (Linux - The Ultimate Windows Service Pack)
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To: wbarmy

Ya got some up and coming Bereans on yer hands!

;^)


119 posted on 03/21/2018 11:52:39 AM PDT by Elsie (Heck is where people, who don't believe in Gosh, think they are not going...)
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To: wbarmy
Some of the concepts do not easily cross over into their culture.P>Just like the USA!!
120 posted on 03/21/2018 11:53:42 AM PDT by Elsie (Heck is where people, who don't believe in Gosh, think they are not going...)
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